“ Brand: Babycare Tens / Type: Pregnancy Aids „
I recently had my first baby and like so many mums to be before me I was determined to try for as natural a birth as possible, no epidurals for me just good old grit and determination, an exercise ball to sit on ...oh yes and a tens machine leant to me by a well meaning friend who in turn had been given it by her friend (or should I have typed enemy)
It is called the Femme Elite Pain relief machine and within the name lies the cruel irony. Now im sure there are many women who will cry from the rooftops that a tens machine was their ticket to a bearable labour but the question haunts me to this day....HOW?
I may not be the best person to give their view on this particular machine. I admit I was in labour for three whole days so maybe things were just so bad for me not even an elephant sized pain relief dart would have made a difference but I cannot comprehend how the tens machine makes anything better. Its an instrument of medieval torture promoted to help a women undergoing a natural process akin to medievel torture.
12 hours into labour and my "natural mummy" resolve was starting to wain. I groaned for help and my lovely well meaning midwife offered paracetamol (was she having a laugh) or to help plug me up to my tens machine.
Now for the science. The tens machine has probes that are stuck to your lower back area. When activated electrical impulses travel down the leads and into your body . Somehow these externally applied electrical impulses are meant to block the pain impulses so you dont feel the pain of childbirth so much. You can control the intensity of these impulses with a very easy to use handset.
Now for the reality. ..At this stage i was desperate and genuinely believed the tens would be the answer to my prayers. "Hurry up" I groaned to my midwife as she applied the machine. Then it was turned on to its lowest level. It felt like needles being stuck into my skin. Hideous. Then it was turned up abit. Imagine if you will being in hideous pain and then somebody standing behind you continuously flicking elastic bands at your skin...HARD. Thats the tens. My head literally span round three times as I did my best exorcist voice impression and groaned "get it off"
And that was that. Now I know there are many women who will disagree with my view but I still to this day cant believe how it works for some people and not for others. Im sure the Femme elite is as good as any tens machine can be but I would counsel caution before laying out a significant amount of money for this item when you dont know how you will respond to it. My only consolation is that I didnt. You can hire the machines so ive heard and im sure that must be the better option. either that or just buy a big rubber band and get your partner to flick it at you.
You have been warned !!!!!!
The Femme Elite is designed for all your feminine needs.