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FairyWBO

FairyWBO
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Member since: 22.08.2003

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      27.01.2005 17:24
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      When I first picked up the box set of the first 4 of this series I had no way of knowing how long it would take me to get to the end.

      I have always been a Stephen King fan, and a fantasy fan, so imagine my delight in finding the two combined :o)

      This is his attempt to do his own Lord of the Rings (he says as much in the preamble bit of the four paperbacks) only with a cowboy twist and a bit of King Arthur thrown in for good measure. King Arthur, another of my favourites, so how could this set of books go wrong in my eyes? It couldn't really, but it did get weird towards the end.

      It also has been influenced by the Robert Browing poem Childe Roland to the Dark Tower came, but as I was unaware of this poem before starting the books, it doesn't have much meaning to me, but will to plenty of others I am sure.

      King first had a short story from the first book published in 1978, so he has spent most of his writing life on this story (in more ways than one, but see later in this opinion for that) and I am glad I chose when I did to read it, so that the new books were available before I managed to finish the last, or I might have had to go back and read them over just to remind myself of what happened.

      Right, I won't bore you with run downs of what each book is about, no long plot doodahs either, just me telling you about it as a whole. I am sure others will and have already told you all you need to know in those areas anyway.

      This is a basic story.... man goes in search of a tower and picks up some help along the way. Thats all there is to it. Roland (the man in question) is what is known in his world as a gunslinger, sort of a knight in shining armour, only his armour is a shirt and jeans and his sword is a couple of guns. He goes from place to place righting wrongs and following a man that betrayed his family in his youth. OK thats probably a bit too basic, but it gives you an idea. The world isn't our own, but it keeps popping back to "reality" now and then to get more characters and plot twists.

      Ok, so what exactly are these books that make up the set.....

      Gunslinger
      ISNB 0-340-82975-3 (238 pages)

      The Drawing of the Three
      ISBN 0-340-82976-1 (455 pages)

      The Wastelands
      ISBN 0-340-82977-X (584 pages)

      Wizard and Glass
      ISBN 0-340-82978-8 (845 pages)

      Wolves of the Calla
      ISBN 0-340-82715-7 (616 pages)

      Song of Susannah
      ISBN 0-340-82718-1 (430 pages)

      The Dark Tower
      ISBN 0-340-82721-1 (686 pages)


      The books themselves take up 31cm... that's a foot of bookshelf! Thats 4 paperbacks in a little box sleeve type thing and three whomping large hardbacks... sorry but I thought you needed telling... suppose all in paperbacks will be smaller, but I couldn't wait that long :oP

      What I like about the books themselves (this has nothing to do with story, content or anything else) is that the paperback box set each starts with a forward by Stephen King about the whys and wherefores for writing the books and ends with the first chapter of the next book (which is handy if not in a box set, and redundant in one) but I liked anyway. The hardbacks come with their own ribbon bookmark (very posh and drove me round the bend as my new kitten tried to eat them every night as I read) and some excellent colour plates. No not dinner plates! Or Orizas (thats throwing plates with a wickedly sharp edge that appear from book 5 onwards) Of course the pictures look nothing like the ones in my head, but they are nicely done. Also they all look good next to each other on the foot of shelving they take up, with the tower on the spine of each one. And for once (this maybe just me) but all the writting faces the same way, is in same style and order (don't you just hate it when they suddenly change the spines of books halfway through a set!... You should see my Pratchett collection... it's all up and down and pictures on the spine all over the place! OK that is just me then).

      Also the tower on each spine changes to match the story in the book (my youngest son is facinated by this) but stays the same.

      There is artwork throughout the whole set, all done by Michael Whelan, but it really comes into its own in the hardbacks. :o)

      Right back to the content....

      Roland picks up some help along the way in the form of three people from New York . Help isn't always the best way to describe what they give him, but overall it is in the end. It could get very confusing as they all come from different time periods but it is handled very well and I managed to keep up with what was going on 99% of the time anyway :o)

      But it does get very egotistical towards the end, some may call this clever, I call it a tad annoying. King desides it's time for him to be in the book, so he brings in characters and bits from other books, Maine of course is mentioned and he even brings himself into it. I won't say how or where, thats for you to find out if you want to. Maybe this is the masterpiece, the piece all the rest have been leading upto, maybe it really is partially true. It's hard to say where writers inspiration really does come from when all is said and done.... where ever it is I know I don't have the ability to tap into it yet (but I'm working on it) King has often said that stories come to him in the form of dreams. So maybe this is the masterpiece.... ah maybe he has just sucked me into the hype, who knows, best not think about these things too deeply or it starts getting into the realms of dolalliness, and people will always read more into things than are there anyway. But enough of that before I need locking away for thinking to hard :oP

      Also the writing style of the last book changes,not sure if this is on purpose or not, but suddenly King is talking directly to us, the readers. Maybe it has been there all along and it only started getting to me towards the end, but it did start to lessen my enjoyment of the books.

      I am not trying to put you off reading them, it's just King did seem to lose the plot slightly towards the end. They are still good books though, but only as a set. No way could someone read one book half way through the set and know what is going on.

      Also I should point out there is a fair bit of swearing and sex in this series, so it wouldn't be suitable for too young a reader, just like any other King book really. Which I have just had to tell my 9 year old, the pictures on the spines really have caught his interest it seems.

      Overall I say I have throughly enjoyed the extremely long trek through Mid-World and am slightly sad its all at an end now. I haven't quite finished the final book yet, as I didn't want to write this knowing the ending, just incase I accidently gave the ending away.

      So I will leave you and go back to my last few days with Roland :o)

      Happy reading
      Sarah :o)

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        18.08.2004 19:42
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        Yep I am writing about Lush again! Sorry, but I can't think of anything else at the moment! My youngest was getting slightly jealous of my array of Lush goodies so on one trip he decided he wanted some too..... this is when I found the Play Doze Bubble Bar. It is made for kids over the age of 7... suppose younger ones might be tempted to drink the water or something! Or it might not be good for their skin... And it is almost flourescent green or maybe its yellow.... very eye catching for a kid and adult alike. Looks like a lump of Play Doh and even better it says it helps the little angel sleep too! So here is me typing on behalf of my son, who is 8. He says... "The reason I like play doze bubble bath is because it helps me sleep and it makes the water a nice colour and the right temperature for me, bubbles make it feel cooler, I mean. And the bubbles last a really long time if you don't smack them or pop them. It smells nice too." There you go! High praise from a little boy! As a Mum I have to agree with him... not sure about the bubble smacking though! Never tried that! It crumbles easily into the water, you don't need a lot to get masses of bubbles, I used about 1/4 of a bar to get a good bath load for him. And less the next times I used it.. got 6 baths out of it in the end, still with loads of bubbles and fragrance everytime. The water turns a sort of greeny yellow colour, and the smell was very relaxing and I wasn't even sitting in the bath! Had to drag myself out the bathroom to let him have his play time in peace. The smell must have something to do with the Lavender, Ylang Ylang and Cardamom oils that are in it, and I was tempted to have some in my own bath, but I would have to get my own bar as he wouldn't let me have any of his! And he checked to make sure I didn't use it either! It might cost a bit more than your average kids bubbl
        e bath, but as it did actually help him get to sleep it was worth the £1.90 for the 100g slice. Roughly about 32p a bath. Another bonus was the bath didn't need that much of a clean out after, no tide marks, just a few of the bubbles left after the water had all gone, and the bathroom still smelt nice too. So I will be getting this again.. infact I already have my orders from him to get the next one! He says I can try a bath in it only if I let him have a Ma bar bath... so there isn't much chance of that happening :oP As you may know Lush are known for making natural products and being environmentally friendly, so you know that you aren't letting your child sit in a tonne of chemicals in the bath. They do make a bath ballistic (that's a sort of bath cube) for younger children that also has plenty of lavender in too help the little tykes sleep :o) Play Doze is available from all Lush shops and on-line (for those that can't stand the smell of the shops) at www.lush.com Happy splashing and sleeping Sarah :oP

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          05.07.2004 15:54
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          After a week of going backwards and forwards to Nottingham, then a weekend of camping out at a music festival I was in serious need of big time pampering. Luckily the day after I got home, a nice big box of Lush goodies arrived, that I had ordered just 6 days before. I won?t mention the fact that in my big box of goodies was yet another freebie as I appear to be making some people jealous with all this free stuff I keep getting :oP The advantage of ordering things off the Lush site is the fact that you can get hold of stuff that isn?t in the shops, and nice brand new stuff too. This is where the Honey Bee Bath Ballistic comes in?. available June, which I know it already is, but it?s nice to think you are one of the first to try something new :o) I have had a bad experience with a bath bomb in the past? I got a non Lush one and it was awful to say the least, and my only experience of a Lush one was a broken Big Blue which I got free (sorry) and used it half at a time as even with free stuff I am still a tight wad, which was nice enough, but the lumps of seaweed floating in the bath sort of put me off a bit :oP So this was my first ever time of going mad and sticking a whole £2.10?s worth of Lush fizzy stuff in my bath. For those of you that don?t know what a bath ballistic or bomb is, well it is sort of a large ball that you drop in bath after you have run it and sit there with it fizzing away in the water as you watch.. Or read a book in my case, with an occasional glance to see if its finished fizzing yet :o) They are made of Sodium Bicarbonate, which makes them fizzy.. Like a giant alka seltzer. And this one has honey, aloe vera, sweet orange oil, bergamot oil, and gardenia extract in it. The Honey Bee, is a lovely golden colour with ripples of a brown gravely type of mud colour going through it (this must be the Rhassoul mud it says it has in it, what ever Rhassoul mud is, but they say it is good for skin!) and it
          smells very much like the Honey I Washed The Kids soap by Lush and the delicious Ma Bar Bubble Bar? only without the chocolaty smell, just honey and sweetness and a bit of orange that should be in the Ma Bar but I have never managed to whiff yet. When it goes in the bath all sorts of strange things happen. The smell of oranges got stronger, the honey was still there, but it was mainly oranges. And the golden colour of the ball starts spreading through the water without any need for stirring the water. There was also a deeper golden gloopy type stuff settling at the bottom of the bath, but a few swishes and it was soon gone, leaving a bath full of water the colour of sunshine and giant sunflowers, or the colour of pee if you are coarse :oP There is also a sort of scummy layer of the oils on the top of water, which sounds disgusting, but wasn?t, that soon disappeared anyway with the swishing. The smell of oranges and honey mixed was lovely, but not as nice as my beloved Ma Bar, but I gave it chance and sat back and carried on reading my book. After a good long soak , I actually got carried away with my book and read more chapters than I meant to, I finally decided it was time to get out, after making sure I had given all my sunburnt bit?s a good soaking too. I was actually dreading getting my sunburnt shoulders under the water as I thought it would sting like mental, but it didn?t. It was actually soothing. The bath needed a bit of clean after all the water had gone as some of the deeper coloured gloop seemed to get left behind, but it wasn?t too bad :o) So after a pat dry I went downstairs to carry on with life. The smell left on my skin wasn?t as strong as that left behind by a Ma Bar, but was pleasant enough, and the softness of my skin was incredible. And the sunburn tightness had completely gone. Another bonus :o) I can?t see me using these very often as they are a bit too expensive for me?. Maybe I could hack the n
          ext one in half with the bread knife, but then I wouldn?t get the full effect! And I would probably kill my bread knife in the process, these things aren?t soft you know! But maybe I will treat myself every now and then to one. The lack of bubbles is also a down side for me too?. As I have always loved my bubbles, but they aren?t supposed to make bubbles and considering all we had when I was little that didn?t make bubbles were those awful bath cubes that left more grit on the bottom of the bath than a budgie has in its cage, I am glad things have moved on and I don?t have to suffer them anymore, and we have such extravagant things as Lush Bath Ballistics to plop in baths :o) Lush shops can be found all over the place (my nearest one is Lakeside Thurrock) and the site is www.lush.com Happy soaking Sarah :oP

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            03.06.2004 18:23
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            Those nice ladies that give me freebees in Lush really know what they are doing! This was first handed to me as a free gift the second time I was getting a Ma Bar fix.. ?it?s new? they told me. Fair enough, I thought, I would try it of I ever get fed up of smelling of chocolate :oP I didn?t actually wait that long to try it, as I doubt I will ever get fed up of Ma Bars (I went on about them enough in a previous op so I won?t bore you again with the details) which I was trying to ration at the time, and just had a hard day out in the garden digging up tonnes of brambles and bineweed so I deserved a bit of pampering. So I easily crumbled about a 3rd of the bright green free bubble bar they gave me, with odd looking bits of dried up petal shreds on top, into the hot running water of a bath and watched as it filled up with mounds of bubbles. I wasn?t expecting so many bubbles and soon they filled the whole bath, I would hate to think how many bubbles there would have been if I plopped the lot in! The smell was like flowers?. All sorts of different flowers, just like a garden border in full bloom, wafts of heady flowers filled the bathroom and I couldn?t wait to sink into the bubbles and drift off. I can?t say it smelt of any particular flower, not one scent stood out over the others, but looking at its ingredients I noticed that there is Larkspur, Marigold, Rose, Cornflower, Viola, Orange Blossom, Gardenia and Frankincense (no Myrrh or Gold though) amongst the long list, so it is no wonder I couldn?t pick out one smell. The water was a nice shade of green too, and the petals floated about somewhere under the mountains of bubbles, I didn?t actually find them though until after my bath was over and I emptied the water away. After my bath I smelt very flowery, my skin felt lovely and soft, and clean too, which is always a bonus, as I didn?t bother with soap (I hate to pop the bubbles) and
            I felt relaxed, not sure if it was the Flower Tub that relaxed me or the hot water, or a mixture of both, but what ever it was it worked. Even a day later I still can smell it on my skin :o) So of course on my next trip to Lush to stock up on Ma Bars a couple of these found their way into my basket too! They are a bit more expensive at £2.10 for a chunk they say is 100g. Also they don?t look as pretty?. Sort of like fluorescent green blobs with multicoloured stands of withered up flowers stuck in the top as an after thought, I wouldn?t have given them second look if I hadn?t been given that free one to try. I have since found that you don?t even need to use a quarter to get masses of bubbles and fragrance, as even just holding them under the tap a while seems to fill the bath and bathroom. So you can get about 10 decent baths out of one lump, of course you can still go mad and have an extra bubbly, smelly bath when you need one too :oP To sum it all up, if you want to smell flowery and be nice and soft, try one, unless you have a very small plughole that is as the shredded petals might get stuck in it :oP Happy splashing Sarah :oP P.S. Sorry for the Bill and Ben title but I couldn?t resist!

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              12.05.2004 20:36
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              **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** **************************************************** I have discovered Lush :o) And I am very very happy! I would have been happier if my new found favourite thing ever in the world wasn't a limited edition but I have managed to squirrel away enough of them to keep me going for a while :o) What is it that I love so much?... it's a bubble bath! Let me tell you how I met my new love... I was wandering around Lakeside in Thurrock looking a total state as I had been decorating all week and was still wearing the
              paint splattered clothing and my new paint splattered hairdo! In desperate need of some serious pampering, as I hate being dragged round shops at the best of times (my son simply had to have a new T'shirt which was why I was there in the first place), I smelt the Lush shop. < br>And by smelt I mean smelt... way before I saw the shop I was overtaken by a smell of all things ermmm smelly. A lovely aroma of baths and oils and honey wafted to me and I had to follow my nose to find out what it was. There was the sign... LUSH in big bold letters.. "Ah I have heard about this place on Ciao" I thought... "better go in and have a look around!" I was confronted with things that looked like cheese which said they were soap and an array of balls that fizzed in water.... over in the corner I noticed a shelf of bubble bars... intrigued I took a closer look. Sitting there all sweetly and temptingly was a pile of little half brown and half goldy cream coloured lumps with sugar cubes in the middle of them... Ma Bar the label said... I picked one up. I smelt it... and was completely and utter taken by the little lump. It smelt like mars bars, like caramac, like the smell you get the first time you open a box of chocolates.. I had to have one! A lady came over and asked if she could help me! No she couldn't... I was already hooked! Then she noticed my sons spikey hair and thought it was great and asked if she could touch it!!! Odd lady! After he agreed she went and got him a bath bomb that had fell in half and gave him it for nothing! Lovely lady :o) Unable to leave the Ma Bar shelf I picked up a couple and put them in the little plastic bags they have to keep the goods in.. and dragged myself away to look at the other goodies they had. Went back to the Ma Bars and plopped another in a bag and was forced to the counter by my son as he still wanted his T'shirt and knew that
              I nee ded h elp if I was to ever leave the shop. And so I parted with £5.85 for my 3 lumps (thats £1.95 each for those that can't be bothered to work it out) and was given yet more freebees.. this time in the form of a bubble bar called big blue or something and a magazine... I didn't care.. I had my Ma Bars :o) I think the ladies in the shop felt sorry for me as I looked so paint splattered and scruffy.. good tip for going in there again ;oP I walked around Lakeside in a daze after that.. just waiting to get home and have a bath. At last bath time was here.... I looked at the bar and pondered if I really should use all of it in just one bath... common sense took over luckily and I just used half.. saving the bit with the sugar cube on it for later. I was amazed by the amount of bubbles that filled my bath... all I had to do was crumble the bit I broke off under the tap and there was bubbles everywhere. The smell when it mixed with the water was devine... sweet honey and chocolate.. never smelt anything that good before.. well unless it was real chocolate that is :oP The water turned a odd muddy shade of brown, which did not look that appealling under the mounds of bubbles but that didn't stop my enjoyment. I just put the thought of sitting in water that looked like a rugby team had just washed their kit in my bath and laid back, shut my eyes and just breathed. Mmmmmmmm heaven. Eventually I had to get out of the bath as the water was getting a bit cold, so I went downstairs and my spikey haired son commented on the smell... even he liked it, which for him is very odd. I smelt of chocolate for the rest of night... and if that wasn't enough, my skin felt moisturised too. Thinking I must have done something wrong as nothing could be this good, I read the magazine that they gave me, to discover on the back page that these were limited editions, just for mothers
              day! The h orror! No way could I make my now 2 and a half bars last for the rest of time. I had until the end of April to buy as many of these lovely lumps as I could... so I did :o) I have had 2 more trips to Lush since and have always managed to get some more (and more freebees), even had to buy some for my spi key sons girlfriend as I kept going on about how lovely they were... but I will never be able to get enough... I just hope they change their minds and keep them in stock. At the moment I still have 4 left (I even gave one away recently!!! I must have been having a funny turn that day!) And I am off to Lush again soon to see if I can get another fix, not sure if I will be allowed back in there again if they don't have any though, as I may not be in the best of moods if they have all gone! I did try the other stuff that they have given me, and I will admit to buying non Ma Bar products in there, but for me they just don't compare with the yummy heavenly wonderfulness of my Ma Bar :o) I would recommend you go and buy them, but then there would be less for me and they are taking them away anyway :oP Have fun Sarah :oP Just had a bit of brilliant news.... they aren't taking them away.. they have put them back on the website (www.lush.com for those that didn't already know) so we can all enjoy them now and I won't have to keep hoarding them :oP

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                09.05.2004 20:57
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                This is the third in the Chronicles of Narnia, but practically none of the story actually takes place in Narnia at all. You see Narnia isn?t a world, it?s a place. And like all places, it has neighbouring lands. For those of you that don?t know about Narnia (I suppose there must be some) it is most famous from the book The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, which is the second in the Chronicles, and at the moment is riding high in the Top 21 books. Four children, Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy, found their way to a magical land (sort of alternative reality) and became rulers of it after their adventures there, when they had to help Aslan (a lion and creator of Narnia) defeat a witch. This story starts in Calormen, a hot, almost Arabic land south of Narnia, many years after the story of LWW. Shasta is a young bo y that has been bought up by a mean spirited fisherman called Arsheesh after he was found as a baby on a small boat. One day a warlord came by their shack to buy Shasta as a slave, but luckily Shasta managed to escape with the aide of the warlords horse, who had been taken captive from Narnia when he was a foal. As Bree (the horse) was Narnian, he could talk, and he took over the situation and in effect he kidnapped Shasta to help him escape back to Narnia. After teaching Shasta how to ride (without the use of reigns as Bree knew where he was going) they make good time and soon are far north of the fishing shack. They run into some trouble when a lion appears from nowhere and escape across a river, in the company of another rider, a young girl called Aravis, also on a Narnian horse called Hwin. She has run away from home as her father has promised to marry her to an old man that is an advisor to Tisroc, who is the ruler of Calormen. She wasn?t happy with this idea, so decided to help Hwin escape back to Narnia. *The children don?t get on at first, Aravis is a bit snobby towards Shasta
                as he is a commoner in her eyes.* They have to travel through Tashbaan, which is the capital city of Calormen, to get to the desert on the other side of the river, so they disguise themselves as peasants (not exactly hard for Shasta to do) and lead the horses in. Tashhbaan is a walled city on an island and the only way in or out is through the gates on either side, and therefore the only way across the river. While inside the city the children and horses come across a parade of sorts with dignitaries heading off to their palaces. While watching them go by, Shasta is grabbed by one and told off for going missing. Confused and not wanting to draw attention to himself or his fellow travellers he doesn?t say a word and is taken back to their palace. It seems that Shasta is the double for Prince Corin of Archenland, who was visiting the city with Queen Susan and King Edmund of Narnia, and it was them that had spotted him in the crowd. *May I now point out that Edmund has now grown up into a nice young man that I now longer want to smack round the face* The ruler?s (Tisroc) son, Rabadash, wants to marry Susan, but she doesn?t like him at all, as he is mean spirited and selfish. So they plan to leave without telling anyone, before they get forced to stay. As Shasta has overheard, all this he doesn?t want to tell them who he really is in case they beat him for being a spy. *You have to remember he has only known wicked people all his life* So he stays quiet, and they leave him alone to have a meal. This is when Corin climbs in through a window and tells Shasta all about the adventures he has had, and then helps Shasta escape, before the gates close for the night. Shasta heads off to the desert and the tombs, where Aravis and the Horses should be waiting. They aren?t there though and he has to spend the night alone in the eerie tombs with just a large cat for company. Aravis, hadn?t
                gone on without him, when they were separated, but had gone to one of her friends for help, and had discovered a plot by the Tisroc and Rabadash to take over Archenland and Narnia. She managed to get out of the city the next day with Bree and Hwin, and they met with Shasta at the tombs. Now there is a race to get to Archenland, which is on the other side of the desert, before Rabadash and his army can, to warn King Lune (Corins father) and to get to Narnia to warn King Edmund and Queen Susan. And that is were I will leave it. If you want to find out if they succeed in stopping Rabadash, or why Shasta looked so much like Corin, then you will just have to read it for yourself. Or find a child to read it too (so you get to read it anyway). It is illustrated by Pauline Baynes, who seems to be able to bring the characters to life in h er drawings, without her I am sure I wouldn?t have the Arabian feel to Calormen. As with all the Narnia books they are meant for children to read. But as this has loads of strange names they may have trouble reading it out loud, unless they are confident readers. I won?t guess an age group for it though as children all read at different levels and it isn?t fair to pressure them. But I do know an eight year old girl that is currently reading it, but at the same time is a bit too much for my eight year old boy! It is best to read this after The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe though as there are many references to it throughout the story, and even though there is no explanation on why Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy are in Narnia, you must assume they just found another way in. I highly recommend this book to anyone that loves fantasy and adventure and of course anyone that has read any other of the Narnia set. Happy reading Sarah :o) P.S. I forgot to add this bit earlier.. the price of my copy was £3.99 But together in a set of all 7 paperbac
                ks it's £19.59 at amazon, or for all the stories in one book at amazon it's £20.99 for the hardback or £27.99 for the paperback. I can't find any listings for the book seperately but I'm sure it can be found in good book shops :o)

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                  29.04.2004 16:31
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                  When anyone thinks of Narnia they automatically think The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, well for me it is always Magicians Nephew that comes first. (in more ways than one) Written in 1955, five years after LWW, it is the prequel to one of the most popular childrens books. And to me it is one of the most magical books I have ever read (and I have read a lot of magical books). So if you have ever wondered why the wardrobe worked, or how it got to be in the Professors huge house, or even why the witch was in Narnia, then this is the book for you. And if you don?t know the story of LWW then shame on you! It is illustrated by Pauline Baynes, who has a knack of bringing the characters to life in the most beautiful ways. It is set in the days when horse drawn carriages were used instead of cars, people had servants and children generally did as they were told! A young boy called Digory has to move to London with his sick mother, to stay with his maiden Aunt Letty and loopy Uncle Andrew. Next door lives Polly, a girl of about the same age (I?d say they are about 9, but I could be wrong) and they soon become friends as it is the summer holidays. The weather keeps the pair indoors and they start playing in the attic, finding a corridor that leads from one house to the next. Thinking they are at the empty house at the end of the row they open a door to find themselves in Uncle Andrews study. He offers Polly a ring and she vanishes! *That's just the first chapter, C.S.Lewis has a marvellous way of getting your attention as soon as you start so there is no chance of children starting a book and getting bored, then never picking up the book again.* Right where was I? Ah yes, Polly has vanished, and Digory wants her back. Uncle Andrew tells his nephew all about how he made the rings (from a box of dust that was supposed to be destroyed on the death of his godmother, but he kept) and that he needed someone to test them
                  on, as Guinea Pigs couldn?t use the homeward bound ring. He believed that one ring sent you to an alternative reality and the other was to bring you back. So poor Digory was forced to take a pair of rings (and a spare homeward ring) to find Polly. *It may sound a bit complicated, but it isn?t hard to follow for a child.* So Digory is whisked off to a wood full of pools of water, or giant puddles as I have always thought of them as. Here he not only finds Polly asleep under a tree, but also the Guinea Pig with a ring tied to it. The wood has a strange effect and makes the children not only sleep but also forgetful of who they are and where they came from, but they soon remember and rather than coming strait home they decide to try a different pool (after testing that rings work first, by almost returning to London, put switching rings just before they get back).And so they jump into a another pool to find themselves in another world yet again. *This could explain a lot of childrens fascination of jumping in puddles, maybe they are all hoping to be magicked off to a different world each time (I know I was)* Compared to the wood this was a dull, lifeless world, that seemed to be on the verge of dieing. After a search of the crumbling buildings they discover a chamber full of what appear to be waxworks of people dressed in fine clothing, and a bell. Polly is fascinated by the people, but Digory wants to ring the bell, even though there is a sign warning him not too. Polly tries to stop him but he still rings the bell. This wakes up Jadis, one mean but beautiful queen that thinks that Digory is a magician. When finding out that his Uncle is the one with power she demands to be taken to him. The children are unwilling to take her back to London, especially as she has just told them on how she destroyed the world of Charn (that is where they are) with the deplorable word. *I have always wondered what the word was, but hop
                  efull y will never find out.* They try to escape Charn without her but she manages to grab hold of one of them just as they are disappearing. In the wood she starts to lose strength but again manages to grab one of them as they jump into the ?London? pool. And so Jadis is in London. Uncle Andrew is thrilled to bits to find that his experiment has worked and even thinks this ?Dem fine women? might fall in love with him, but after a trip out with her soon finds out what she is like. She causes mayhem in the streets. She steals a hansom cab (horse drawn cab) robs a jewellers and is extremely unpleasant in a restaurant. Soon it seems half the local people are outside Digory?s house demanding this woman be stopped. Digory and Polly step in and grab hold of her and vanish with her back to the wood. Only it seems this time they have managed to bring not only Jadis, but also Uncle Andrew, the horse that was pulling the cab and the cabs owner. They then jump into another pool hoping to get rid of Jadis in some other world. When they arrive at this new world, all is black and they think that they are still in the limbo between worlds, but a voice in the distance starts singing as soon things start coming to life before their eyes. *This is the most beautiful part of the book as it is described in such a way that you can actually feel the new world come to life as each new thing springs into being around the group* Jadis and Uncle Andrew are terrified of this new place, but the cabby and the children are totally in awe, especially when they realise that the singing is infact coming from a huge Lion. Soon everything is made, even animals that have come out of the ground and Aslan (the lion) gathers a selection of the newly formed animals around him in a meeting. He has enabled some of the animals to have the power of speech (not all, just some) and one of them is the Cabbys horse Strawberry. Jadis is terrified and run
                  s away aft er dropping part of a street light that she was using as a weapon in London. The bar when it hit?s the earth starts to grow into a small street light and soon is a full grown one (if that is the correct term) This gives Uncle Andrew a plan to bring scrap metal to this world and grow steam trains. It also gives Digory an idea that fruit from this world might be able to cure his sick mother. So he goes to speak to Aslan to see if he could have something to take back to London with him. Aslan does want to speak to Digory too, as it was he that introduced the evil into this world called Narnia. And so he sends Digory on a quest to bring back fruit from a tree that grows on the outskirts of this land so a tree can be planted to protect the land from evil. Strawberry goes on the quest with Digory as does Polly, but before they go, to speed things along for them, Aslan grants Strawberry the gift of flight and so he becomes a winged horse called Fledge. While on their adventure with Fledge they have another run in with Jadis, but manage to escape her and bring back a fruit. I will not tell you anymore, as you have by now had the majority of the story and I want to leave something left so you will read the book. And I have told you about the Lion and the Witch, the wardrobe is up to you to find out about! I know there is a lot of people that keep going on about the Christian aspect of the Narnia stories, but as a child and as a adult, I never let this hamper my enjoyment of the book. Isn?t everything in life about right and wrong anyway, which is what all religion boils down to in the end? I highly recommend this to anyone of any age as it is a wonderfully written book and is easy to read, either aloud to small children or when children are starting out to read by themselves. It is available anywhere that sells books. My current copy was £3.99, but you could probably find it cheaper or as part of the se
                  t of all the Na rnia Chronicles. Thank you for reading this, now go and read the book :oP Happy reading Sarah :o)

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                  • The Prophecy (DVD) / DVD / 0 Readings / 19 Ratings
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                    03.04.2004 21:45
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                    I first saw this film many years ago and have had to put up with watching it on an old crackly video tape. Mainly worn out to the amount of times I have watched it, as it is one of my favourite films. Imagine my delight when I saw this in the bargain basement of CD-Wow for less than £8. You of course can guess that I ordered it immediately and watched it as soon as it arrived . Why is the film so good in my mind.. Well it is basically the story, the way the characters are played and of course it has Viggo Mortensen playing the devil :oP The Story ********* (You may want to look away now incase I give too much away or its too scary.... Or go find a settee to hide behind! :oP ) According to a missing chapter of the bible the angels are at war over us. That is basically the whole premise of the film. God wants us in heaven and the angels don?t. Well not all the angels, of course there are ones on our side or they would have to be fighting god and that would never do. So the Arc Angel Gabriel has come down to retrieve something that has been prophesised in that missing chapter, the soul of a truly evil man, with which he can win the war. He is not on our side that is for sure. Also trying to get the soul is Simon, another angel, who is on our side. He wants to get to the soul before Gabriel can get his hands on it and ends up having to hide it from him. Also involved is a talking monkey (that?s what angels call us) called Thomas. He was going to be ordained into priesthood but kept getting visions of the war of the angels and so became a cop instead (logical choice I suppose!) He gets involved in the case when a man without eyes is found dead after falling out of a 5th storey window and a book that Thomas has written is found in the room he was rather un-gently pushed out of. Also in the room is a newspaper with the obituary of a famous war veteran.. Pointing Thomas in the directi
                    on of the dark soul. When the man is taken for examination they discover the bible with the missing chapter in his pocket and Thomas works out that he is in fact an angel. Both Gabriel and Thomas make their way to Arizona where the soul in question is to find that Simon has indeed hidden it somewhere. In a little native American girl of all places! Now come the Native American rituals as the girl is living in a reservation , as basically the doctor didn?t do much to make her feel better after being possessed, and what could be called special effects only they aren?t that special. But the story is so good it sort of doesn?t matter. Up pops the devil and ?.. No more will I tell you as that is basically the whole story, if you want to know the outcome.. Watch it :oP The Characters/Cast ****************** I suppose the real star of the film has to be Christopher Walken who plays Gabriel. Well it is his name that is blazed across the front of the DVD box. And rightly so. He plays the angel with a dry wit and an evil glint in his eye. I cannot see him in another film without expecting him to put his finger to his mouth to ?Shush? whoever is talking. Thomas, our hero, is played by Elias Koteas, who I don?t recall seeing in anything else before or after this but according to some sources (IMDB.com) he was in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, as Casey Jones, who wears a mask, and loads of other films I have never seen, so that explains that! He plays Thomas with a kind of faith that makes him really venerable, as he seems to want to go back to believing, but at the same time tries to distance himself from the whole angel war. He also has a sense of humour which always helps. Simon is played by Eric Stoltz, someone I have seen before! Mostly I knew him from Fluke, but he has also been in Pulp Fiction, Killing Zoe, Jerry Maguire and loads of other things. Even though Simon is on our side, you
                    do wonder exactly how good this angel really is ! Amanda Plummer is best known actresses in this, but she isn?t in the story for long, but she is excellent while she is on screen. Gabriel uses her as a chauffeur for a while, and you just can?t help but want to put this poor woman out of her misery. Viggo Mortensen is Lucifer, he doesn?t come in to the story until the end, but he sticks in the mind forever. He is just what I?d imagine he should be (if that makes sense) charming and scary at the same time! He was practically unknown when this film came out, and this role was enough to make me watch out for anything else he was in. Imagine my delight when he turned up as Aragorn in Lord of the Rings lol Virginia Madsen is Katherine, the teacher in the school that Simon hides out in. Moriah Shining Dive Snyder is the little girl that Simon hides the soul in And Adam Goldburg is poor Jerry, Gabriel?s first chauffer. The DVD extras ************** Basically there are none. You get the normal select a scene bit and a few subtitle choices, but that is it.. No documentaries, no cast or crew talk-overs, just the film. But that is all I wanted anyway. I tend to find that now I am more used to owning a DVD and the novelty has worn out, I hardly ever bother with the spare Disc packed with goodies anyway. ******************* Certificate 18 Running time 94 mins Produced by Joel Soisson Written and directed by Gregory Widen 1995 ********************** I wouldn?t recommend this for a bit of light entertainment, but it is a great horror/thriller for when you want to think a bit! Happy viewing Sarah :o)

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                    • WinMX / Communication / 3 Readings / 21 Ratings
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                      04.02.2004 17:37
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                      It was a brilliant P2P but now it is no more

                      Don't bother reading this now, as they have taken it away.... I will leave the review here though, just incase anyone is interested in what they have missed, and because it's not everyday I get a crown for something :o)


                      ******************************************************


                      I had Morpheus to get all my MP3's and such like before, but I was being driven insane by the endless pop-ups and it freezing all the time. I was going to go back to Kazaa, that I had in the past but found they have a small charge now.. and being a tight wad I hate paying for things. Wishing that AudioGalaxy was still about (something I loved dearly and miss on a almost daily basis) I happened to ask out loud "Why can't there be a free, easy way to nick stuff?" to no-one in general. My son's mate came up with WinMx.... seeing as he is always here I forgot he was in the room while I was talking to myself :o)

                      I dutifuly went to the site WWW.WINMX.COM to find out more.

                      They have no pop ups.. YAY

                      They don't charge..... YAY

                      They are a sharing site..... YAY

                      After lots of confirmation about lack of pop-ups, spyware, viruses and other such stuff I headed for the download page. There were several to download, all the same but mirror sites so if one was busy any of the others could be used. The first one I picked wasn't busy and I had it all downloaded and installed in about 5 minutes. The version for downloading was v3.31, so this isn't a new thing.

                      During the installation I was given the option to have a black background with coloured writing or a white one.... of course I went for black, had to read an agreement twice, tell it what folders I wanted to share and what types of file I wanted to share. I also had to think of a user name which they automatically stuck numbers on the end of.

                      As soon as it opened itself after installing I was amazed how quickly it read through all the stuff I said I would share with it. (I had over 1.5 GB of MP3's on my clapped out PC!). Then it was time for me too play :o)

                      I went strait to search.... my eldest son wanted anything by Syd Barrett but particulary Effervesing Elephant... so I typed in Syd and Elephant.... (easiest bits too
                      spell).. and voila! There was two. Right clicked on both of them and soon they were both downloading.

                      This was fun..... I tried again.. Just with Syd Barrett this time and loads came up. I was right clicking away like there was no tomorrow. Unfortunatly not all downloaded, but they never do!

                      As I was now bored of Barrett I wanted to try something else...... I asked someone I was chatting to at the time on MSN (even my poor clapped out, over stuffed PC could run the two at once) to name a song, they did, I did a search and eventually found some more to play with.

                      As soon as some had downloaded I thought I had lost them though, but it was just the timer on the options section, which I soon put right.

                      It lets you go to the folder you downloaded them into, so as soon as one had finished I opened it and had it playing away in the background :o)

                      My PC was doing three things at once and not suffering :o)

                      It did have a stutter attack at one point but that was when I tried to do a fourth thing... so it was my fault and I stopped doing it :oP

                      While I was happily "nicking" stuff, people were happily doing the same back. You can have upto 6 uploads and 6 downloads going at the same time. I am on Broadband though so maybe through a modem it would be less.

                      The songs that worked didn't take long to download and although one was only the first 59 seconds of a song, the sound quality was great. The short one was my fault....... I should have noticed it had a % sign next to it to indicate it wasn't a full song!

                      If you do start downloading something and you have to turn off the PC, it comes back the next time you run WinMx which is very handy (just as long as the person you were downloading from happens to be still there) and even if they aren't someone else with that file might be about so you can carry on getting it from them instead.

                      I have even had to now change it ove
                      r from my old PC to my new PC and that was a painless process, and seems to work even better as I have more RAM and I can easily do 5 things with no stutters or hiccups at all. (It is happily running in the background as I type this.) And I have even more hard drive to fill up with music.. so there is no stopping me now. On my last count I had nearly 6GB just of songs :oP

                      And I find it very easy to use. Even better is the fact that there really are no pop-ups :o)

                      It also has a chat facility (sort of like instant messages, but they vanish as soon as you answer them), after a while of not knowing what on earth it was for I have become quite addept at answering peoples plea's to move their requested song to the download list or even to chat about the size of my Schenker collection!

                      They do also have chatrooms, which I bravely went in the other day.... many are just rude.. but that's nothing new, and half don't even chat.. they must just sit there starting at a blank screen all night! But I did manage to find one helpful chappy to answer a question I had (helpful in the fact that he actually answered me, rather than answered my question though.lol).

                      You can have away messages up, so if someone does feel the need to chat, you don't have if you don't want to. Also there are options on it to regulate who you can get messages from... it can be from anyone that has winmx, or just people that are actually downloading stuff from you, or you from them.

                      Another good thing about the chat facility is that when someone is downloading your stuff you can browse all the stuff they are sharing rather than doing a search and "nick" anything you feel like from them, this helps avoid the queues that can form when too many people want the same stuff at the same time.

                      Like all these kind of shared sites it all depends if someone happens to be on it at the same time as you with the stuff you want, but so far
                      I haven't found any major problems, as there seems to be loads of people using this.

                      And it's not just MP3's that you can get.. I just discovered that games are on there too.. and pictures and films.. any old stuff that people are willing to share can be found if you search hard enough, but be warned, when moving from the MP3 to pastures new, not all is always what it seems and you could end up with porn on your PC.. unless you want porn that is, I am sure some do, just I don't.. so I will stick with the MP3's and the occasional game.

                      It does seem to be virus checked, but again, you should be on the look out for anything that seems a bit dodgy just in case.

                      If I do find anything else out I will let you know, but so far I feel I have found the P2P site for me.

                      Happy hunting
                      :o)

                      Not sure what the ratings below mean... do they mean Dooyoo or WinMx? Ah well, I answered anyway!

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                      • More +
                        21.01.2004 17:20
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                        A little while ago my sons mate Ian lent us his GameCube and I fell in love.... ........with a short dumpy Italian with a strange moustache! But he belongs to another, some daft girlie looking Princess called Peach, that always seems to get in trouble by being constantly kidnapped! I don't know exactly what is going on between these two but I am jealous :oP I spent ages with Mario, much more than she does! Finding coins, squirting baddies with water, cleaning up the places we go to and even rescuing her but do I get a thank you off this strange little bloke? You bet I don't! Not so much as a word has passed his lips... mind you he could be mumbling something under that gigantic moustache but I never hear anything... apart from the occasional "OUCH!" when things go wrong. But still I have to spend time with him, in the never ending quest for him to stop chasing after the Princess and just notice me! The boys went off to their Dads for Easter and what was I doing... was I out on the tiles? NO! I was sitting in playing as much as I could before Mario was taken away from me! Eating pizza to keep me in the Italian mood :oP Then the day I had been dreading came.... Ian took his GameCube back and I had to go without my daily dose. After trying to take my mind off Mario, by playing a different Mario game on my sons Nintendo 64, I found I just couldn't cope. So what could I do? I couldn't borrow Ian's again, as his Mum had dropped it down the stairs! (Don't ask!) And the one on the N64 just wasn't the same. So I went down to Woollies and got myself a GameCube complete with Super Mario Sunshine. I rushed home, set it up and switched it on. There he was, back in my living room and I was happy again...... sad isn't it :oP Now you have discovered what a sad person I really am, I better tell you a bit about the actual game rather than just my Mario fixation! <
                        br>The Game itself....... It is your basic run around, solve puzzles and collect things game! There is a story. Princess Peach is off on her hols with Mario and her usual entourage of royal attendants. They fly into a beautiful sunlit tropical paradise called Isle Delfino, only to find that someone that looks like Mario has been leaving graffiti and gloop everywhere. This slightly spoils the holiday plans as Mario is thrown in jail! Mario promises to help clean up the mess with the help of Fludd, a strange water squirter robot, that can talk and looks a bit like a duck! This stays on Mario's back throughout the game, apart from when it is stolen by the wanna be baddie see-through Mario on certain levels, (who's identity will be revealed later in the game, so I am saying nothing about who the Baddie really is) :oP The reason the locals are so cross about the gloop that is everywhere, is that the shine sprites that keep the isle so sunny have all gone away, as they don't like the pollution (a message there if ever I heard one). So not only must Mario clean up, he must also find all the shine sprites and make the place all sunny again. There are different area's to visit, but only after you have collect the right amount of sprites can you visit them. You start in Delfino Plaza after Mario has been let out jail. By squirting the Graffiti on the main monument you get to go to Bianco Hills. All the gateways to the different area's you visit are somewhere in the Plaza. There are different puzzles and tasks in each area. Some harder than others, but they can be worked out eventually. For each level solved you receive a shine sprite and a bit more of the Isle gets brighter. And of course the more sprite you have the more areas you can visit :o) Besides the puzzles and tasks there is the basic collecting coins thing: gold coins, they are all over the place, 50 give you an extra life,
                        100 give you a shine sprite. blue coins, these aren't so easy to find, 10 give you a shine sprite. red coins, this is one of the tasks in each area, 8 give you a sprite. You also have to clear up big gloopy messes of what looks like chocolate mouse, but I am sure they aren't, as they hurt when you get covered in them! The baddies leave these messes all over the place and if you make Mario step on it he slips over, gets all dirty and has to clean himself off with some water. The baddies come in all shapes and forms. Some spit out the gloop, some just attack my hero for no apparent reason and some do both! If you find a giant egg you can feed this fruit (which is either found on the ground or up trees) and this will turn into Yoshi and you can move Mario around alot quicker when he rides it. You have a life monitor so you can see how badly Mario is doing, but coins will help top this up to full when you are running out. You can climb trees.... and fly using the Fludds jet stream mode, so this often helps you get out of trouble, as well as letting you reach those impossibly placed coins! Also you can swim, and often need to pop in the water just to fill up Fludd as the water supply does run out, as well as cleaning Mario off when he has got glooped! There are sub tasks for coins on each level which can be easily missed if you just barge through and do just the task in hand and even special nozzle attachments for Fludd to make it do different things. There are underwater things to do and underground places, that can all be reached easily but aren't always obvious, so it is best to keep an eye out for things. I think I have covered everything! In my opinion it is a great game to play (and I am not just saying that as I have a Mario fixation)! Even though there are some quite complex puzzles it is still suitable for all ages, (Says 3+ on the box) with a bit of
                        help every now and then. I can see me coming back to play this game until I have completed every single little task and then starting again once I have. Well I have to keep playing 'til he actually notices me don't I?! The controls are easy to master and the booklet that comes with it has clear pictures of what the buttons do and how everything works. It is now an old game so is available for about £20 in most places or in a buy 2 for £30 type offer. And as it has been about for a while I would imagine it will be found in the second hand sections in most gaming shops. Mine came with the Gamecube, but I don't think that offer is available anymore. A highly enjoyable game, that I am so glad I got addicted too :o) Happy playing Sarah :o)

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                        • Room 101 / Discussion / 1 Reading / 29 Ratings
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                          26.12.2003 18:53
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                          When thinking of what I could shove away into a little room and forget about for ever, I was almost tempted to put myself in there so I could get away from everything for a while! But that would be too silly.. And a rather boring thing for you to read, so I picked on these things instead :oP **Insurance/loan adverts** The curse of daytime telly... Have you had an accident? Are you poor? Would you like to get poorer? Would they like me to shove this remote control somewhere non sunshiney? :o) As if daytime TV isn't bad enough with all the chat shows, they have to add insult to injury by assaulting our intelligence! Who, in their right mind, has had an accident within the last 3 years and not done anything about it.. Or are in financial difficulties that hasn't already gone to the bank to help sort it out? But you get a carriage clock if you get a loan with us.. wouldn't free money be a better idea! Who needs a carriage clock? They could make them more interesting, but do they.. No they just have people walking about an office full of strange ladies with phones stuck in their ears, or strange talking phones. And how is that when Betty from Bath tripped on the slippy floor and broke her bum and got £10,000,000 for a new pair of shoes, that a camera crew was there to film her do it! Couldn't they just have told her the floor was wet? When I was a nipper I used to love adverts more than the actual programs, but now I hate them.. they are all mindless drivel. Bring back proper adverts! **Turkey** Why must we have a silly oversized dry tasteless bird on the table once a year? I know they are one of the ugliest birds on the planet, but is that reason enough for every household to eat one on the 25th of December? They cost a small fortune too! They don't fit in the oven, or the fridge, or the freezer, they are too big, even the small ones, you need to defrost the frozen ones for eve
                          r, cook them forever and eat them for ever too. Just because some daft Victorian thought they would be a good idea many years ago why are we still eating them? I can understand Americans having them for Thanks Giving as that is what they had on the first one, so maybe all Turkeys shouldn't be banished away for eternity into a little room, just the ones on our tables every Christmas. Let the Turkeys roam free! I of course have avoided them this year.. No cold turkey for us for a week and half! But you are supposed to eat them up in 3 days, it says on the wrapper! How many of us grew up having turkey sarnies well into the New Year? Are we all dead.. No I think not! that leads me to my next thing... **Short Expiration Dates** How is it that when you go shopping 3 days before Christmas everything in the shop seems to have an expiry date of the 24th? With all the additives and GM stuff they pump into everything, surely things should last forever. But it seems we have gone backwards. I remember the olden days when people used to bake all their pies, cakes and bread for the week on one day and not do anything until the following week.. And Christmas cakes used to be made in august to sit in a tin to mature (and have large quantities of booze poured into them on a regular basis). A weekly shop was enough as everything lasted forever... now we are forced to shop every three days! I am sure these dates are just put there to make us waste everything, and spend more money. They can't all be right! **Fox Hunters** Yep those daft idiots that ride around the countryside shouting tally ho and smearing blood on their children! What is the point? If the farmers are having fox troubles let them deal with them, electric fences round the chicken house would do, or even a shotgun! No need for some member of the royal family to prance about like a loon in red! And the fact they don't feed the do
                          gs before a hunt to make them more savage is barbarian, get a life you sad doodahs.. this is the 21st century! **Whiney Voices** You know what I mean... those people that talk in a constant whine.. even when they are really happy! We have one over the road from us.. no matter how good his life is he just whines, it's like poor me I've just got a new car. Blah blah blah! makes me want to shake them! Life is too short to moan all the time (whoops probably the wrong place for me to say that in the middle of a rant! lol). Cheer up, be happy and get on with it.. or just don't talk to me! Children have the ability to really get on the wrong side of me when the ask for things in a little whiney voice too... "Can I have a lolly..." in a whiney voice will get no lolly from me.. Just me telling them to talk properly. **Reality TV** Big brother for example... Another idea from 1984 (the book not the year!) along with room 101. The thought of sitting there watching normal everyday people just sitting there day after day is rather odd. I accidentally watched 5 minutes of some dull people sitting on a settee eating some biscuit's a while ago and couldn't believe that was it! I mean, can't we just get a mirror in our front rooms and watch ourselves being boring? Do we really need to see this? Soaps are bad enough, but now we can't move for real life soaps, with no script, no talent, no enjoyment factor! It must be the accident syndrome kicking in.. everyone slows down to see an accident.. that doesn't mean it is the right thing to do! As for the Salon.. well that is just like a nightmare, I avoid Hairdressers at all costs and the thought of sitting there in the comfort of my own home watching someone asking someone else what their holiday plans are is torture for me. Can't we have some real properly written and acted drama's or comedies on o
                          ur tellies, instead of this drivel. **Allergies** Why do we have to be allergic to things? I keep finding new things to be allergic too... perfume and potatoes seem to be the major ones in my life at the moment. Gone are the days when I could jump in a bubble bath and just come out clean.. Now I have to use a certain kind of bubble bath, one kind of soap and finding new things I am not allergic to is hit and miss. Even the shampoos are starting on me! And as for potatoes, I can't peel them without my hands turning into something out of a horror film. I know people have much worse allergies than me, and I do feel sorry for them.. flour, milk, dust.. Must be a nightmare for them! So all allergies should be banished forever, so we can get on with our lives without having to check the ingredients first. **Colds/flu** Keeping with the medical side.. why do we have to suffer with Colds? They are nasty, annoying and generally unpleasant. Coughing and sneezing our way through winter is bad enough, but they come and sneak up on us in summer too! All the pills, potions and remedies don't really work. They just delay them a bit too make them last a bit longer. In case you haven't guessed I have a cold at the moment, and like a good girl I have been rubbing things on and taking foul tasting syrup, just to make it last 2 weeks so far. Go to the doctors and get some antibiotics I hear you say, but too many antibiotics is bad too.. so it's a no win situation.. and they are always bad, so into room 101 with my cold and everyone elses :o) ************ That's it.. can't think of anything else that annoys me at the moment. I feel much better for getting that off my chest (just wish I could do the same with this cold!) Hope you all have had a lovely Christmas and that the New Year is everything you deserve :o) Thank you for reading my little
                          rant Take care Sarah :o)

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                          • Top 10 Singles / Discussion / 0 Readings / 29 Ratings
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                            22.12.2003 17:45
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                            This is hard. Too hard. How many songs have I actually heard in 36 years? Back in the 80's I used to sit every Sunday glued to my radio for the top 40, with finger never far from the record button on the tape deck. The next week I would rush out and spend my pocket money on 7 gobstoppers (to last the week) and as many singles as I could get with what was left from Trumps Records. Then came the Saturday jobs, so I could buy more with the occasional LP thrown in. Then came the big money and my LP collection grew and grew, but my singles collection seemed to stop. If I was to chose 10 from my CD singles that would be easy as I only have 18. Chosing from my old 7"s would be too hard as there is about 500 of them. As for songs off albums, it is hard trying to remember which were singles and which weren't. Take Stairway to Heaven by Led Zep, that was never a single. I suppose I could just chose the 10 songs I like the most that I hear on the radio, but that still wouldn't really be my top 10. And then there is all the MP3s and wavs I have on my PC...... the list of songs to chose from is endless. Seems an impossible task to chose between all the songs but I will try my hardest. Here in no particular order (apart from the order they popped in my head) are my top 10 singles, at least I think they are all singles. BLIND MELON - NO RAIN All I can say is that my life pretty plain, I like to watch the puddles gather rain. And all I can do is just pour some tea for two, And speak my point of veiw, But its not sane. This sounds like it should be sung by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young or someone like that, but they are a Grunge band! I just love this song so much. It is so simple and sweet with strummy guitars and really great lyrics. Infact it could be my song, as it seems to sum me up. It is also good for dancing round the room like a mad person, singing away like a looney. Not that I ever do t
                            hat of course :o) I don't actually own this in any shape or form apart from an MP3, I really must get round to buying some new CD's soon. SOUNDGARDEN - BLACK HOLE SUN Black hole sun, Won't you come, And wash away the rain. Ok first I have a song about liking rain now one to wash it all away :o) More grunge and totally different in everyway possible from the first one I picked. This is more dark and sinister. And they class both bands as grunge! Weird. This is a pounding sort of song, bit hard to explain unless you hear it. It is just pure class :o) HAWKWIND - MOTORHEAD All day,a five day marathon We're moving like a parallagram. I should be tired, I'm already wired, I aint felt this good for an hour. There are a few lines inbetween the ones I put above, but I havent managed to work out what he sings yet. I have only been trying to work it out for over 15 years :o) How many songs have the word parallagram in them? This is a very bouncy sort of acid hippy metal song, ideal for going mental too. Lemmy from Motorhead was the singer in Hawkwind for a few songs, this must have been where he got the name for his band. I like this version better than the Motorhead re-make as deep down I think I was a hippy in a past life :o) OZZY OZBOURNE - GOODBYE TO ROMANCE I say goodbye to romance, yeah Goodbye to friends. I'll see ya. Goodbye to all the past. I guess that we'll meet, we'll meet in the end. I know this is strange but I want this song played at my funeral. This and the Galaxy Song by Monty Python from The Meaning of Life, I couldn't put that in this list as I don't think it was a single somehow. I know people think that Ozzy is the antichrist or something, but if you ever listen to the words of his songs, you will hear some of the most beautiful lyrics. And I do know he can't really sing, but the
                            re is something about the way he tries :o) FAITH NO MORE - EPIC You want it all, but you can't have it. It's in your face, but you can't grab it. This is indeedy an epic. It's yet another bouncy one. It could be described as a thumper, sort of pounding drums and guitars which all goes nicely into a soft piano solo at the end.. and in the video the piano blows up. I thought the lead singer was gorgeous.. nothing to do with the song but I thought you might like to know :o) THE POGUES AND KIRSTY McCOLL - A FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK You scumbag, you maggot, You cheap lousy faggot. Happy Christmas your arse, I pray God it's our last. I have always loved christmassy songs, apart from any sung by Cliff Richard. When I first heard this I couldn't believe it, Slade's Merry Christmas everybody was no longer my fav. The words are so brilliant, apart from the bit when she sings that he was handsome! Was that before she got glasses? If there is anyone that is reading it that doesnt know what the lead singer of the pogues looks like then you are extremely lucky and I hope you never find out, as it will give you nightmares :o) HOUSE OF PAIN - JUMP AROUND I'm the cream of the crop, I rise to the top. I never eat a pig coz a pig is a cop. Not related to metal in any shape or form, but very bouncy. It one of those mixed songs, don't even think there is one instrument in there, just mixing desks. It has a screechy whiney noise going all the way through it, sounds worse trying to explain it so I will stop. THE MIGHTY WAH - STORY OF THE BLUES First they take your pride, Turn it on its side, And then you realise, You got nothing left to lose. So you try to start, Try to get back up. And then you realise, Your telling the story of the blues. Ideal for singing really, really loud too in the car. It'
                            ;s a typical early 80's pop song, I could always plead insantity. It has a little story to the words, and I have always liked little stories to tunes. I think it comes from enjoying the adverts more than the telly programmes when I was little. As far as I can remember the lead singers name was Pete Wylie and he was from Liverpool. It's amazing the stuff that gets stored for 20 years in my head, all useless of course :o) THE CLASH - LONDON CALLING London is drowning and I... I live by the river. And I do. Well its about 2 miles from here, and I am the wrong side of the flood barrier... It was very hard to pick just one Clash song, but I finally came up with this one for its pure punky type brilliance and of course Mr Strummers voice. But it could have been Bankrobber, or Straight to Hell, or Rock the Casbah, or Should I Stay or Should I go, or I Fought The Law, or any Clash song. DR DEMENTO - FISH HEADS I took a fish head out to see a movie, I didn't have to pay to get it in. Fish heads fish heads roly poly fish heads Fish heads fish heads eat them up yum. I had this voted most annoying wav in the chat room I visit.. I was so proud. I love this for its pure annoying brilliance and the fact that it winds up everyone I know. It is just so simple and silly, and I do like silly :o) WHAT?!? I've had my ten?!? Is that it?!? But what about Eloise that was just playing on the radio, or that New Radicals one, or Puff the Magic Dragon, or any of the other 487 that are buzzing around in my head?!? This is so unfair... where is the top 500 songs category? :o) I hope you realise how many headaches and sleepless nights doing this has caused me and how many songs made it on here only to be taken off again, some even made it back. Tomorrow most of these will all change again, so I better submit this before I change my mind again :o) Happy listening to your own favs :
                            o) Sarah :o)

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                            • More +
                              19.12.2003 15:15
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                              Seeing as Christmas is nearly upon us and Office Parties and other such time to be Merry are here, I thought I would share with you 10 reasons not to get carried away too much when supping the Christmas Spirit. I will start at the bottom and work my way up..... Or is that down! When I was a young teenage type, I found no better way of spending my Saturdays than sitting on a Circle Line underground train, going round and round in circles (not me.. The train goes round in circles, hence the name!) with my best mate Amanda and a bottle of vodka. For some unknown reason I used to call myself Vivian on Saturdays, and my mate used to woof at people! We could be described as a bit odd! The best one of these Saturdays that we had was near Amanda's birthday, as I decided to make a chocolate cake covered in Smarties and take that along with us. Me being the kind, caring type decided it would be nice to share this cake with complete strangers as they walked past us (we did used to get off the train every now and then). So there was me with the cake, and a knife to cut it, sitting in on a curb in the middle of London handing out cake........ It was amazing when I think back that so many people actually took some cake, and that we never got in any trouble. Still sticking with the young drunk teenager, I come to the school disco. A few friends and myself thought it would be an idea to have a bottle of vodka before we went. So we happily downed the bottle in the woods nearby then went merrily to the disco. I spent a lot of the evening smoking in the toilets (as you do), sitting on a basin (well I wasn't going to sit on a toilet was I!). I managed to break the basin and leave my cigs on the side by the mirror. For some strange reason they closed the toilets down after that, so no one had anywhere to go and have a crafty cig during school hours thanks to me! I never got caught though.... But I am sorry to all those that had to go without!
                              Another train story now.... Coming back from a pub crawl... As an older teenager. I was wrecked to say the least, a group of us had been on a Soho pub crawl and it had got to that time of night when there was just no where left open, so it was off to the Central Line to travel home. I am not a loud person generally, but this night I decided to tell the entire train carriage full of people the story of Dosie Rosie, a story about a duckling that gets lost, that my Dad used to tell me when I was little. I actually got a round of applause at the end of the story! Now this wouldn't have been so bad if there didn't happen to be a bloke that I quite liked, who lived not that far away from me, sitting in our carriage. Every time I saw him after (normally on the bus on my way home from work) he would say "Hi Rosie", to which I would mumble, go bright red, and try to hide inside my bus seat! Now we come to my barmaid days! I used to work in a heavy metal night club, and besides the great music I used to have fun getting drunk while working. Mates would often say I could take a drink for myself..... So I did! Mind you they also used to ask me to marry them just so I would give them a free pint! After a particularly busy night of filling up my own glass, there was a staff Xmas/Valentines party..... In which even more alcohol was consumed. I didn't realise the time and had to go to my proper job in less than an hour (it was about 5 in the morning but I thought it was 7!) So I stumbled into work, an hour early, (this in itself was a miracle as I was always late!) Wearing the clothes from the night before.. Including a rather daft hat that I was very attached too and wouldn't take off... And spent the day trying my best to stay awake at my desk. My boss wasn't very impressed and every time he walked past me "Tutted" extremely loudly, while my mate had a day long fit of the giggles. I think at one stag
                              e I actually did fall asleep in the toilets... But I do know I fell asleep on the bus on the way home and ended up in Wansted instead of Ilford and had to walk back! Another barmaid story was on one of my nights off, as I used to go in night club anyway. I rather fancied one of my colleagues Rob. This particular night was his night off too and with his girlfriend and my mate David we happily sat at a table having a few pints, when David decided it was about time Rob knew I liked him! He had been threatening to tell him for quite a while, but I never dreamed he would, especially with Robs girlfriend sitting there! So as he was about to spill the beans, I picked up the nearest pint and did some spilling of my own.... All over his head :oP Luckily he never did manage to tell Rob :o) Another story that happened in the night club, was when I whacked the bouncer in a painful place! I had stopped working there as my boyfriend Danny at the time didn't like me being a barmaid (he was the jealous type) This night he had gone out with some of his mates, and I went down to Oscars (that's the name of the night club) with my mate Amanda. I got a bit merry and wasn't feeling to well. After a trip to the toilets as I thought I would throw up but didn't, I walked back to the bar...... However on my way there I fainted, Marco the bouncer and a Hells Angel, tried to help me come round, but instead of thanking him I punched him in the nuts.... Full whack..... I'd never seen an Hells Angel cry before :oP Now comes the time I went to some mates flat warming party with Danny (the jealous one). My mates from school had got a flat together and invited everyone round. Although Danny wasn't to happy about going he did anyway. Who was the first person we saw when we walked in? Only my Ex... I said the normal "Hi" , walked past and ignored him for the rest of the night, but the fact that he was there bugged Danny
                              the whole evening. So much so that he decide to start a fight with me... And for the first and only time ever he hit me!.... To which I responded with a mighty whack back that made him hit his head on the wall.... (I might be a softy, but I give as good as I get) This sent him slightly over the edge and he chucked my friends coffee table out of the window, which just happened to land on my ex's car! Not good as he had to drive back to Yorkshire in it! The police came round, took Danny away, and I spent the night at the flat as I didn't want to go home..... My Ex thought this was great, and kept telling me I had came back to him!... And then showed me what he kept in his wallet.... It was a picture of me on his mates motorbike from years ago when we went out together, he had even bought the bike off his mate! This totally freaked me out and I then decided I would be better off at home and got a taxi. Shame I ended up having to pay for the damages! At work we used to have a bar (not the barmaid job! Proper work. lol) Christmas used to be a great time there as on the last day we would spend most of the day getting paid and pissed! One Christmas I had an early start as I was still tipsy from the night before, so after about two Southern Comforts I was well away! Rather than being a happy, life and soul of the party, joke machine that I can sometimes be when drunk I went the other way, and became the most depressed person on the planet! I couldn't stop crying... No matter what anyone tried.... And believe me they tried everything.... I had one poor woman trying to fill me with strong black coffee, I had another telling me jokes, someone trying to phone up my boyfriend at the time, and cuddles off more people than I actually knew! Nothing worked.... I cried non-stop from about 11 in the morning until it was time to go home at 2. And even then I was still sobbing on the bus! No idea what I was crying about though! Don't suppose I will ever
                              know now! Now we come the staff leaving do.... After working at my "proper" job for 13 years they were shut down, a group of us went out for a meal to celebrate / commiserate this fact. Normally a group of them went every year, but I had never been invited before as they were the office staff and although I did work in an office, as it wasn't in the actual office block, but rather in the factory, so we tended to be slightly looked down on! So for once me and two mates (Roy & Roger) from our office got to go out with the "big boys". I knew that one of them fancied me, but I had no interest at all in him, so I used Roy as my barrier against him. All went well, I ate, drank and was merry, but then I started..... I asked Paul (a big wig, managers manager) what exactly it was that he did for TCL (the company) besides play golf! And then I started on poor Dave..... The man never smiled at work.... So I had to ask didn't I! I was being plied drinks to shut me up and Malcolm (him that I was trying to keep a force field around me against) said something which made me burst into tears! I kept going on about how I would miss everyone and how they should keep Malcolm away from me. I was comforted by one woman in the toilets, but can't remember much else of the evening. Apart from the trip home! Still a bit emotional, I had to share a cab home with Malcolm as he doesn't live very far away from me...... So I dragged Roy into the cab with us..... I told the cab driver the wrong house number, but eventually got home.... But it seems my friendliness had come back and I was too busy snogging Roy to notice! Malcolm saw this and got out the cab and shouted for all my neighbours to hear "Oi, That's my bird!" Charming! The worse thing was I had to go back into work the following Monday and face them all! Now we come to my most embarrassing......... The night started well.... A bottle of Southern
                              Comfort before leaving the house with Danny to go down to my favourite place in the world (at the time) The Ruskin Arms! We were slightly piddled, and even accepted a drink from a Wino's brown paper bag, that we meet along the way.... I remember walking in the pub and thinking that I would quite like a Snakebite and black, but the next thing I knew I was throwing up all over the bar! Most of the evening is a complete blank, but I do have flash backs still! After my episode at the bar I was propped up by two of Danny's taller friends (Tiger and Pete) for the rest of the night, and they seemed to take joy in pushing my head from side to side as I looked like I was about to throw up on them too! Then there was me telling a girl Charlie what a sl@g she really was! Her fake Irish accent that she only had around Danny's mates never fooled anyone! Then I recall having a bit of a headbang down by the stage, but my blouse came undone and either Pete or Tiger trying to do the buttons back up (awwww weren't they gentlemen) Then I remember being outside having a snog with someone called Tony! Whoops! Then comes the bit with me running after Danny up the road shouting that he couldn't leave me as I would one day have his son! Then it was the normal trip to the Chinese for plain chow mein and sweet and sour, which I ate in the road! I also seem to recall not being allowed on the bus and having to walk home from East Ham to Ilford. The next day Danny wasn't talking to me, my jacket was covered in sick and chow mein, my blouse was buttoned up wrong, I couldn't remember a thing and I had to walk home from Danny's! People kindly filled in a few blanks for me, even at work, as one mate from work was there to see me throw up on the bar! And as the years have progressed more bits have resurfaced... Oh and yes I did have Danny's son a couple of years later... And promptly left him :oP Now you know..... Most of the above are the
                              reasons that I don't drink much anymore.... And when I do I stop before I get to the levels of drunkness that cause such things to happen! Also I don't drink vodka as it has no effect on me at all... Think I became immune from drinking to much of it as a teenager. And I have vowed never to drink any whiskey type drink (especially Southern Comfort )as it doesn't seem to agree with me :oP Hope you enjoyed! Have a Merry Christmas.. But not too Merry! :o) Sarah :oP

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                              • Top 10 Albums / Discussion / 0 Readings / 20 Ratings
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                                18.12.2003 15:29
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                                When I thought about doing this op I came up with a list as long as my arm... and I have long arms, so I had to change a few things. Firstly I got rid of any that had the few naff tracks on that I normally skipped past. Then it was the ones that were on vinyl that had to go as I never listen to them anymore apart from on old tapes that I made when my record player still worked. I have tried hard not to bore you with mindless waffle and stick to the point, but failed miserably in places. So here for your skimming pleasure is an alphabetical list, as I couldn't put one over another as they are played at different times depending on my mood. THE BLUETONES - RETURN TO THE LAST CHANCE SALOON The first time I really paid attention to the Bluetones was when I saw the video to Marblehead Johnson, a song I already liked. They were all wearing those "fat"body suits and I do love a band that aren't too serious. Then I saw another video.. can't remember what it was now but I do remember the lead singers eyes.... yes I know I shouldn't like a band just because the lead singer has nice eyes.. and I don't, the eyes just nudged me into the right direction to actually listening to the band more. I am not really sure what this kind of music is, sort of pop/indie I guess. Bouncy but slow, soft, sentimental and witty...... Oh I give up trying to describe it as I have never worked out how putting bands into boxes works. I have played this album too much whilst playing the playstation, and now when I listen to it I can't help but think of Crash Bandicoot. IRON MAIDEN - NUMBER OF THE BEAST My first Maiden album. This is what made me the person I am today. I suddenly realised that there was more to music than churned out pop songs when on that fateful night back in the early 80's they played Run to The Hills on Top of the Pops. Guitars, drums, an air raid siren singing and more guitars, this took bouncy to
                                a whole new level for me. I had discovered Metal in all its glory. I knew Metal was about before, but not sounding as good as this did. Buying this made me go back and buy the two earlier studio albums and although the singer was different I was hooked, and I haven't looked back since. MARILLION - SCRIPT FOR A JESTERS TEAR Marillion are the band that I have seen most in concert, that I had to buy all the singles and albums as soon as they came out, and that I was a proud member of the fan club of. I even convinced my best mate at school that she liked them too so I would have someone to go to the concerts with, she wanted to buy Kajagoogoo's album but I twisted her arm to get this one instead. Wicked I know but then that was me at the time. She seemed happy enough :o) This is my fav as it was the first, and since the remastered issue on CD even more so as it includes my all time fav Marillion song "Grendel" that was the b-side to their first 12" single "Market Square Hero". To explain Marillion to someone is too hard.. even harder than explaining The Bluetones! Early Genesis rip offs is the most common description. Could be prog rock, bouncy with angst and stuff like that. My mum hated them, especially all the posters I had up of Fish the lead singer. I did buy the first album they did without Fish but it just wasnt the same to me and although they are still going, I am sorry to say that I gave up on them. Maybe I wasnt a Marillion fan after all..... just a giant scottish bloke called Derek fan. METALLICA - BLACK ALBUM I know that most Metallica fans gave up on them when this came out, but I thought it was their best. As a bouncy music lover Thrash Metal ( faster than Heavy Metal ) was a great invention and Metallica knew how to get a crowd Moshing ( hard to explain moshing without actually getting up and prancing across the room), but the black album to me was almost like grown up thrash, st
                                ill bouncy but not as frantic. James Hetfeilds gravelly vocals came into their own with almost classical feel to the music.... little did I know at the time just how classical Metallica would shortly become and at which point I would give up on them for a while. But this CD was never far from my hi fi, from the day I bought it to today. Mind you it is normally my son that is the one putting it on now, must be hereditry. MUSE - SHOWBIZ As soon as I heard Cave by Muse on the radio I knew I was a fan. I was given the single by my boyfriend at the time as he bought it by mistake, thinking it was a different band, and then he got me each single as they came out and then this album, one of his better mistakes I think :o) For 3 blokes Muse make alot of noise, in an Indy way... bouncy again of course. I see a pattern emerging here. I saw them live (a parting gift from said boyfriend) and was probably the oldest one there, and they had Coldplay supporting them! Strange the way the support act became bigger than the main event, but to me Muse are far better even if they are virtually unheard of now. NIRVANA - NEVERMIND I cannot live without this album. I need it too cheer me up. Strange I know, but putting this on and singing away in an extra loud voice and bopping about like a halfwit makes me feel good, even if the songs are supposed to be depressing. Its the bouncy syndrome again. Nirvana were what is classed as Grunge, I think it means they wore dirty clothes, but that would mean that Dexys Midnight Runners where grunge, so I can't see how that works. To me they were just new metal.. not Nu as that is something different again. grrrrr to boxes. OZZY OZBOURNE - THE ESSENTIAL Ozzy ozzy ozzy oi oi oi :o) Bouncy again. Ozzy could be the Prince of Bounceness if he wasnt already the Prince of Darkness. For someone that swears every other word there is suprisingly few if any F***s in his songs unless its
                                the live stuff. This is the man I want to see in concert but have never got round to. When ever I tell anyone that Ozzy is my hero they automatically think I fancy him. I don't, but just imagine what it would be like to have him as an uncle. I love all the Black Sabbath stuff he has done (loath Dio) but as it was Bark at the Moon that really got me into all this I have to put this on here rather than any Sabbath... and it opens with Crazy Train, so you get a great blast of "ALL ABOARD" as soon as you put this on :o) PINK FLOYD - THE WALL We have had bouncy metal, bouncy indi/pop, bouncy prog rock, and just plain bouncy. So this must be bouncy psycadelic hippy rock :o) When my record player worked I hated having to turn over the LP or putting the next one on as I always had to listen to it all the way through. It is so much better on CD as it stops all that faffing about. It was another brick in the wall pt 2 that got me started on a Floyd kick. I dragged all my school mates at different times to see the film with Sir Bob as Pink and played the LP to death.... to me there is only one thing wrong with it, they left out "when the tigers broke free". RADIOHEAD - THE BENDS Not exactly bouncy, but then everyone has to mellow out now and then. Sometimes I just need not to feel the urge to bop about like a mad person and just have some background noise on, though I will admit to singing like a tone deaf mad person instead whilst listening to this. All I can really say about this album is that it is beautiful... shame the lead singer is such and ugly spud :oP TERRORVISION - HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE The ultimate bouncy album from the ultimate bouncy band. Teeny tiny Tony makes me happy, yep I know it's tequilla that is supposed to make you happy but it's not on this album :oP If anyone can sit still or not sing along to at least one track on this then they must b
                                e dead..... how hard is it to Do wap a do wap a do wap a do. Yep I know it's a strange collection.... what is worse is leaving stuff off like: Freur - Doot Doot (not that anyone would have heard of this) Judas Priest - Metalworks Vangelis - Bladerunner soundtrack The Clash - London Calling Blues Brothers soundtrack Manowar - Battle Hymns Queensryche - Empire or Madness - Complete I know I like a mixed collection of music.... and if you thought that was bad, just wait til I get round to sorting out my fav singles :o) Thanks for reading Sarah :o)

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                                  17.12.2003 15:37
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                                  When I was in Disneyland...... Many, many years ago (23 years actually!) I went on a strange ride called Pirates of the Caribbean.... Which promptly broke down as we were under a bridge by a pirate swigging rum and singing a pirate song! At the time I did wonder why this ride was even there... I know the animatronics were good, but nearly all the other rides had something too do with Disney Films.... Was this one I missed? Imagine my delight when I found out they had actually made a film of the ride, rather than the other way round! My first thought was "I wonder if it will break down half way through?" And my second thought which I must admit slightly terrified me was "What if they make It's a small world film!!!" But that would be a horror tale of a different nature :oP Suppose I had better tell you about the film... Rather than the ride..... As I have forgotten most of that..... But I do remember the film.... Vividly :oP Where to begin...... It starts with a small girl on a big boat, sorry ship, singing a pirate song (not sure if it is the same song as the pirate we got stuck by on the ride.... But what if it was... Spooky. lol!) She is berated as it is bad luck, and lo and behold.... there is a wreck of a ship and a tatty black pirate ship sailing off in the distance! From the wreck a young boy is rescued, after being spotted by Elizabeth, the small girl. Around the boys neck is a medallion that Elizabeth spots and rips off the boys neck in the fear that he is a pirate, and will be treated as such by the naval officers. This she hides away. But this is all in the past... Elizabeth (Keira Knightley, that looks just like Queen Amidala, but isn't, but she was her decoy) is now grown and so is the young boy, Will Turner (Orlando Bloom or Legolas without the blonde wig and bow). She is the governors daughter and he is a blacksmiths apprentice, so they are out of each others league, so to
                                  speak. Elizabeth's father (Jonathan Pryce from more films than I can think of) wants her to settle down with the naval officer (Jack Davenport, Steve from Coupling or the mastercard advert voice) on the boat they came over to the Caribbean on from England, as he is about to become a Commodore. Typical English snobbery in all it's glory! Now we come to the best bit..... Enter Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp)... on the mast of a sinking boat. Too much eyeliner and a funny look on his face. He swaggers about, and talks, walks and acts like he owns the place, in the most comical way. In the middle of trying to steal the fleets fastest ship, Jack has to rescue Elizabeth from drowning as she is overcome by a rather tight girdle and has fainted off a high cliff and fallen into the sea, just as the new Commodore proposed marriage to her! Whilst under the water the medallion that she found round the young Wills neck, seems to throb and send out a shock wave. Once out of the water Jack is arrested for being a pirate and makes a heroic escape.... Almost..... Whoops... Think I am going into a tad too much detail here... I could give you a blow by blow account of the whole film... But I won't, as you should see it yourself.... So here is a bit less detailed version... After a fight in the blacksmiths between Jack and Will, Jack is thrown in prison. That night the Black Pearl comes into the harbour and causes all kinds of chaos as the crew search for the medallion, killing anyone that gets in the way. Elizabeth is taken to Captain Barbosa (Geoffrey Rush), by two comic relief type pirates (one of whom is the TA bloke in The Office... But his name escapes me at the moment). They want the medallion and she knows it..... But tells them her name is Elizabeth Turner.... Big mistake! They take her off, and Will wants to follow. But he has to break Jack out of jail to do this as the navy want nothing to
                                  do with him, as he is only a blacksmith. They steal a ship... Brilliantly.. I won't tell you how, as it is worth not knowing when you watch, and sail off to get a crew and sort out Black Pearls crew. The crew of the Black Pearl are cursed...... Meaning that they are now undead and will remain so until all the medallions, or gold coins are back from where they nicked them from.... Elizabeth has the last coin, but there is also a blood debt to be paid and this is where Will comes in. I won't say anymore, except just when you think everything is worked out for the good, then another bit of story comes along and keeps you wanting more. Throughout the film you can't really tell who's side Jack is really on, one minute you think he is being good, then the next you think "Oh he is on the bad pirates side after all"... Well I did anyway! But I was too busy watching him prance about to really care! :oP The special effects where the cursed crew go into the moonlight and you can see what they really look like are marvellous... Especially in the treasure cave. Also for me the ships where beautiful, but then I have always been a sucker for a fully rigged up old sailing ship. There is action, comedy, romance and the undead.... Sounds like the ideal film to me! And it was/is. My favourite bit has to be on the ship after Will has been told that Jack was left on a deserted island in the sun too long, and asks "Is that the reason for his....." Wobbles and funny look on face! (I can't explain it in words... You have to see it)! I think Johnny Depp is the only American in the film..... I could be wrong though! As they seem to be getting better at English accents.. Well sort of. Lol! But the amount of smaller part English actors in the film is great considering it is a Disney after all. So it wasn't just the baddies that were English for a change. On the subje
                                  ct of it being a Disney, it is great to see them going into older audience films without losing the Disney name as a 12a. And as for the fact that kiddies can watch it with adults, even with all the undead walking about is great. I remember the days of Sinbad, and Jason and the Argonauts, when we got see wonderfully scary stuff. With the violence about just on the TV alone it is amazing people still think this is too much for kids! I have neighbours that literally went into shock when I told them I took Andrew, who is 7 to see it! Obviously it is too much for some of them..... But parents should know what their own kids can and can't watch without having nightmares for weeks! All in all, I think it is a great family film (unless your kids don't like zombie type ghosts running about) There is plenty of action, and the story line is easy to follow without it being too simple. There are plenty of laughs too. It would have been better if I had seen it in a full cinema, as I am sure the atmosphere would be a lot better as the laughs would be better. The 3 times I have seen it there was about 20 others there each time, and they had no sense of humour. Actually expected them to tell us to be quiet the first time we watched it, we laughed so much! :oP There is a web site of the film too, www.pirates.movie.com.......... This has a game, the film of the opening night in Disneyworld, some snippets of the film and freebies to download. And there is a link to their next film.... The Haunted House.... Oh dear another ride coming to film life! Please stop after you finish this one Disney, before you make It's a Small World.... As the ride was bad enough! I have a fear of dolls.... Totally irrational I know but put it this way.... I can't watch the Chucky films! And the thought of all those singing dolls on a big screen is too much for me! But enough of that scary stuff... Back to Jack.... I mean the film :oP I think you can tell I loved
                                  the film. I thought Jack was the best character I have seen in a long long time. No, I am not a love struck Johnny Depp fan. But definitely a Jack fan :oP If Marc Bolan was a pirate he would be Captain Jack Sparrow... Sorry don't know where that came from, apart from the fact that T-Rex were just on the TV. Cap'n Jack is based however on Kieth Richards, so I wasn't far off with the Marc Bolan thing :o) Both my sons (8 and 13) love this film and between us we have watched it 12 times (at the cinema and now at home on DVD) mind you it's been nearly a week since our last watch so it must be nearly time to watch it again. If they ever get round to putting up this in the DVD section I will write this all over again, with the extra 10 hours worth of added bits. Cheers for reading mateys... Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh :oP Sarah :o)

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