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Maximus-Qualitus

Maximus-Qualitus
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      15.11.2011 13:46
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      YOU WILL LOVE IT.

      Laurel and Hardy -
      March Of The Wooden Soldiers ( a.k.a. Babes In Toyland)
      =====================================
      The Boys:
      ========
      Stan Laurel (June 16 1890 - February 23 1965).
      Real name Arthur Stanley Jefferson.
      Stan was born in Lancashire but toured with Charlie Chaplin and hence on one tour ended up in America. He had 'Arrived'

      Oliver Hardy (January 18 1892 - August 7 1957).
      Real name Norvell Hardy.
      Ollie was born in Harlem, Georgia and his mother was apparently responsible for him going into theatre. Right from early childhood Ollie had a beautiful singing voice.
      Soon the two would meet.
      They first appeared together in a silent movie called 'Slipping Wives' in 1927.

      The rest is history.

      ~Introduction~
      =========
      Stan and Ollie play, well, tweedle dum and tweedle dee in this wonderfully funny and child friendly movie.
      Also played are Bo peep, Tom Tom the Pipers Son, Mary Mary quite contrary, Mother Goose, Little Boy Blue, The Toymaker, And the Evil Silas and his 'Baddies', namely the Bogeymen.

      ~The Movie~
      =========
      The old woman who lives in a shoe is under threat of eviction from the Evil Silas and his Bogeymen. But he will let her stay there if she agrees to her daughter marrying him !
      Her daughter, Bo Peep, is however in love with Tom Tom the Pipers son.
      Widow Peep takes in lodgers to raise the cash to keep her landlord away.
      Enter our heros Stan and Ollie as Stannie Dum and Ollie Dee.

      I won't tell you anymore of the plot, its not that difficult to see where it goes.


      ~Opinions~
      ========
      A superb and memorable film from the magnificent Stan and Ollie.
      The jokes and slapstick are a cut above their usual and that's saying something. The bad guys, Silas and his Bogeymen are over the top and you can imagine people in the theatre 'boo-ing' them loudly every time they made an appearance.
      There are tricks and double crosses along the way which are done clevery and subtley.
      When the bogeymen and the monsters are unleashed to desroy Toyland it is actually hilarious rather than frightening.

      Made in 1934.
      Runtime: 77 minutes

      ~Cast~
      ******
      Stan Laurel - Stannie Dum
      Oliver Hardy - Ollie Dee
      Henry Brandon - The Evil Silas
      Florence Roberts - Mother Widow Peep
      Charlotte Henry - Little Bo-Peep
      Felix Knight - Tom-Tom Piper
      Virginia Karns - Mother Goose
      Marie Wilson - Mary Quite Contrary
      Johnny Downs - Little Boy Blue

      Here we find their usual brand of 'Cartoon Humour' where no one actually gets hurt but it all looks very painful.
      A wonderfully inventive and fun packed film. They employ every trick they have learned over their careers and put it to great use in this short film.

      Its laurel and hardy at their best, funny and slow burning humour that builds and builds to a hilariously funny ending.
      Lots of their prat falls, slaps and gags packed into this little gem of a film.
      Various traits they would use would be to pick a fight with a 'stooge' or 'Neighbour' and then slowly escalate the fight. Each destroying something of the other persons and each time smashing something bigger and louder. Until finally it would end in either the police appearing or a huge brawl.

      Such as ripping each others pants off or a huge chaotic cream pie fight.
      Stan may appear at time to be getting picked on by Ollie but if Ollie took it too far Stan would snap and then Ollie had better look out.

      Greg.

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        12.11.2011 16:02
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        A bit dated

        ARE YOU BEING SERVED?
        ======================

        Written by Jeremy Lloyd and David Croft

        Setting:
        ~~~~~~
        Grace Brothers Store - Men and Womens Department. A fictional London based store and ran by the original dirty old man, Mr Grace played by Harold Bennett. He was perpetually surrounded by buxom, mini skirted, air headed women who constantly threatened to give him a heart attack. Usually by bending over and showing a little too much leg or flashing their ample bosoms, poor old chap.

        The cast:
        ~~~~~~~
        John Inman as Mr Humphries
        The campest gay man in the history of TV. He would use every situation to slip in, oops, a sexual innuendo or three. Lived at home with his mother and was of indiscernible age. Took every opportunity to dress up in womens clothes and mince about, Hilarious.
        When ever asked are you free? He would answer with his catch phrase "I'm Free"

        Mollie Sugden as Mrs Slocombe
        Again of unknown age but roughly 65, she became famous or should that be infamous for constantly referring to her "Pussy".
        Her pussy of course being her cat 'Tiddles' however when she came out with one liners such as
        'My pussy got soaking wet and I had to dry it out in front of the fire'.
        'The central heating broke down and I had to light the oven and hold my pussy in front of it'

        Frank Thornton As Captain Peacock
        He was the authoritarian floorwalker who mistakenly fancied himself something of a ladies man, despite being married and despite coming across as another dirty old man when chasing Miss Brahms.

        Wendy Richards as Miss Brahms.
        Shirley was a rough talking cockney girl who more oft than not showed a little too much leg or bosom. Usually to the distaste of Mrs Slocombe but to the liking of Captain Peacock and junior assistant Mr Lucas.

        Trevor Bannister as Mr Lucas
        Constantly jibing Mrs Slocombe and leering at Miss Brahms, he was a sexist pig who was quite happy working with the gay Mr Humphries because he could chase all the girls he wanted. The irony being the girls all preferred Mr Humphries!

        Nicholas Smith as Mr Rumbold
        The manager of the floor and always the butt of any bald jokes. But he always had the last word being the boss.

        Arthur Brough as Mr Ernest Grainger
        The senior menswear salesman but always being found fast asleep somewhere.


        The program ran from 1972 right through to 1985 ! With and amazing 10 series and even a film.

        This DVD contains all 6 episodes from the 9th series.

        Series 9
        =====
        1: The Sweet Smell Of Success
        By pure accident Mrs Slocombe invents an aphrodisiac perfume which sends the boys mental.

        2: Conduct Unbecoming
        Mr. Humphries has a row with his mum and comes into work in a tizzy.

        3: Memories Are Made Of This
        Mrs. Slocombe starts to act like a little kids when she gets a bang on the head.

        4: Calling All Customers
        The staff produce a play for CB radio with of course Mr Humphries as the star.

        5: Monkey Business
        An escaped Monkey runs riot throughout the store and especially around Mr Humphries.

        6: Lost And Found
        Mrs. Slocombe's Pussy is missing but Mr Humphries has a brilliant idea to save the day.


        At its height 'Are you being Served' made household names of many of its cast and even though the program was incredibly sexist, homophobic and full to the gunnels of double entendres, it never the less was a gigantic success.

        Each week would involve a barmy plot which was either the cast dressing up in ridiculous costumes or some new display gimmick would arrive onto the floor or perhaps the cast would be chatting each other up, whatever the ploy it was still very funny.

        It stuck religiously to tried and tested methods, each week Mrs Slocombe would make some dubious remark about her 'Pussy', Mr Lucas would make disparaging remarks about Mrs Slocombes age, weight or looks and he would constantly be chasing Miss Brahms.
        Miss Brahms would be showing off parts of her body and Captain Peacock would be chasing anything with a heart beat.

        Even old Mr Grace got in on the act with various semi naked nubiles that would serve his every whim ending with his catch phrase, 'You've all done very well'.

        To last 10 series is some accomplishment and even though it had gone past its sell by date one thing cannot be denied it will always be remembered and repeated which in its self is its own testament.

        Hope you enjoyed,
        Greg

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          27.10.2011 22:59
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          A Good Beach Book

          The Godmakers
          =============
          Author - Frank Herbert.


          A wonderful little read this one following Lewis Orne from his early days as a R&R agent,( rediscovery and re-education service) where he must visit newly re-discovered planets, lost after the galactic Rim Wars and check them out for signs of hostility. The Rim Wars had almost finished off the human race and those left where going to make sure everything stayed nice and peaceful from now on, or else.

          Lewis makes an incredible discovery on his first mission and is then drafted into the IA, investigation adjustment service where he will go on to have many fascinating adventures.
          But unbeknownst to Lewis, Amal priests are quietly working to create a new god, a super deity and Lewis finds himself drawn in deep to their inner circle.

          The reader is introduced to Psi as a actual way of bringing a God into existence, Gods are not Born they are created by you and me, we do it unconsciously but sometimes when a group of believers with the knowledge get together, they can create their own god, or so the story suggests.

          Enough of the story line except to say it's a cracker of a book and worth your time.
          At 174 pages long you won't get bored and will find it a real page turner. The imagination shown by Herbert is simply superb, the dialogue flows well and the concepts and ideas and very enjoyable to read. As a Sci-Fi enthusiast I can honestly say I thoroughly enjoyed this book.

          Give it a go.
          9/10
          Greg

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            13.01.2011 15:39
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            DON'T BOTHER

            The Penultimate Truth.
            ==================

            By Philip K Dick.

            Let me start by saying that I'm not a great fan of PK's work but read this book because it sounded like a great story but wow what a disappointment.

            The story follows Nicholas St. James who lives under ground in the "Ant Tanks", basically cities around the world where people went as WW3 happened and where they are kept by lies and deceit by the well to do up above, or so it originally seems as you struggle through this hap hazard book.

            Nicholas and his comrades make 'Leadies', robots which they think are being used to fight the above war but in fact are being used as servants by the above populace.

            WW3 actually ended of 13 years ago but the people have been kept down there since by written and video lies which the book goes into at great length, Great length...

            The descriptions of the above ground world where unclear and who was who equally so, even the conversations between two people where badly written and I oft had to re-read to work out who said what!

            I won't tell you any more of the plot except that even the double and triple twists Philip puts in are rubbish and as a sci-fi fan I was truly disappointed, oh I've already said that but you get the point, don't bother with this dismal book.

            The characters in this book are badly written and I never really got any of them, the writing itself was truly awful with huge nonsensical ramblings which served only to make me keep putting the book down and go and do something else. It was a relief when I finished it and I swore PK Dick was an author I would never read again. (apple o gees if you're a fan).

            A book to be endured is the best way to describe it.

            1/10
            Greg

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            11.01.2011 21:44
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            Will keep the kids entertained.

            JOE 90
            =======
            Written by Gerry & Sylvia Anderson

            This brings back so many childhood memories.

            ~ Introduction ~
            *******************
            From the intro music and the spinning chair, if you where a kid you were hooked.
            The premise was simple, Genius professor Ian McClaine had created the B.I.G.R.A.T. device, Brain Impulse Galvanoscope Record And Transfer, which can download directly into the brain the special qualities needed to complete various secret missions.

            Enter JOE, the bespectacled 9 year old adopted son of the genius Prof. Joe had lost both parent in a car accident when he was 12 months old.
            At the start of each episode Joe would enter the chair and the spinning arms would transfer the info direct into his brain,
            Once the transfer was complete, Joe would don a pair of 'electrode glasses' to trigger the new knowledge housed within him.

            Equipped with his armoury of gadgets, Joe undertakes a series of daring special missions. Various missions called upon him to become an expert racing driver, brain surgeon, astronaut, test pilot, aquanaut and computer boffin.
            This was Gerry Anderson's ninth consecutive TV puppet series. You could say he was on a role. At the time it was slick, new, colourful and fun. I think even kids today would enjoy it.

            And in case you are wondering why was the series called Joe 90? When Joe joined W.I.N. there were 89 London based agents in operation. Joe became the 90th - hence JOE 90

            ~ Cast ~
            ***********
            Joe 90
            Professor Ian McClaine
            Sam Loover, head of the World Intelligence Network (W.I.N.),
            Shane Weston W.I.N. Deputy Controller Supreme Commander of W.I.N. London Office
            Mrs Harris, the oblivious-to-it-all house cleaner

            Made from 1968 -1969 and consists of 30, 25 minute episodes.
            Each disc contains 6, 25 minute episode

            1. The Most Special Agent
            Joe becomes the youngest secret agent when his father invents a machine that can, for a short period, put brain patterns into his mind via his special glasses of pilots, divers, racing car drivers, etc etc and so begins Joe 90.

            2. Hi-Jacked
            Joe goes after a particularly nasty gun runner.

            3. Splashdown
            Joe becomes a pilot to investigate mysterious test planes that have been crashing.

            4. Operation McClaine
            This time Joe becomes a brain surgeon to save an important scientists life but half way through the operation begins to forget what to do.

            5. Three's A Crowd
            Joe must foil a beautiful spies attempts to steal the secrets of BIGRAT.

            6. International Concerto
            One of 'WIN's top agents have been arrested and Joe must effect a daring rescue.

            7. Big Fish
            The rescue of trapped submariners takes Joe underwater as a diver.

            8. The Unorthodox Shepherd
            Joe must save a vicar from some nasty forgers at work in his church.

            9. Relative Danger
            Agents trapped in a mine means that Joe must become a pot holer for a few hours and save their lives.

            10. Business Holiday
            Joe must destroy a whole army base with a huge bomb bu will he have time, well he is on holiday.

            11. King For A Day
            Joe impersonates a young arab prince to find the killer of The Sultan of Ardaji.

            12. Double Agent
            Joe must quickly find the mole within WIN before more agents will die.

            13. Most Special Astronaut
            Into space is where Joe next goes to save the lives of two trapped astronauts.

            14. Arctic Adventure
            A nuclear device is missing in the Arctic and Joe must find it before it detonates.

            15. The Fortress
            Joe must beak an agent out of jail before he cracks under torture.

            16. Colonel McClaine
            Into the mountain carrying liquid explosives is Joes next adventure but watch out the roads are very bumpy.

            17. Project 90
            This time Joes implants his own fathers brain patterns in order to rescue dear old dad from the baddies.

            18. The Race
            Joe and Mac dream the same dream and even in a dream Joe is the best.

            19. The Professional
            Joe must penetrate atop facility to find where all the stolen gold is going.

            20. Lone-Handed 90
            Joe dreams he is a gunslinger fighting the bad guys.

            21. Attack Of The Tiger
            A secret nuclear rocket must be stopped or the world will be in peril, Joe to the rescue.

            22. Talkdown
            Joes in trouble this time as the brain patterns he currently has are tainted.

            23. Breakout
            Joe becomes a helicopter pilot to capture some bombing bad guys.

            24. Mission X-41
            A deadly virus must be captured or destroyed so Joe becomes a bio scientist.

            25. Test Flight
            A demolition expert is Joes next brain bung as he trie to rescue a trapped computer wiz kid.

            26. Child Of The Sun God
            Joe treks into the jungle to find a cure for a deadly poison that someone is using to paralyse politicians and agents alike.

            27. Trial At Sea
            A hoverliner is being sabotaged and Joe must track down the culprits.

            28. See You Down There
            Someone is infiltrating WINs computer and Joe must hack in and find the evil doer.

            29. The Birthday
            Joe is 10 and on his birthday and everyone throws a special surprise party.

            30. Viva Cordova
            Joe becomes a top bodyguard to protect a stubborn President.


            Wondefully old fashioned puppetry that children today will be agog over. This is what old nostalgic childrens TV was all about. A superb inventive puppetry sci-fi programme. A product of its time but none the less a delightfully innoffensive childrens show.

            It will hook childrens imagination straight away and hold their attention, who needs xbox games?
            Great music, some mild suspension whilst the picture as well and the sound is true DVD quality.

            Even todays kids would enjoy the show.
            Worth the money!

            Highly recommended.

            Greg.

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              03.01.2011 16:19
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              worth a watch on tv

              ON THE BUSES
              ============
              Written by created by Ronald Wolfe and Ronald Chesney and originally broadcast from 1969 to 1973.
              On the buses ran for 74 episodes each being a half hour long and lasted for 7 series.
              They also made 3 movies, On the Buses, Mutiny on the Buses and Holiday on the Buses.


              INTRODUCTION:
              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
              The bus station that Stan, Jack and Blakey worked at was The Luxton & District Bus Company and most of the episodes where centered either around here or at their home where Stan lived with his mum Mabel, sister Olive and her husband Arthur.
              Poor old Stan was always trying to 'get off with a "Bird"' but failed miserably time and time again. His best mate Jack didn't help, as he was the one who generally knicked the girl from him. His family where always spoiling his plans, sometimes innocently or if Arthur found out, on purpose.

              In the end Stan spend most of his time desperately failing to get anywhere.
              In the first series Stans mum was played by Cicely Courtneidge who was a house hold name and a star in her own right but she left and that's when Doris Hare took over the role and made it her own.

              The series pretty much carried on in the same vein until Arthur decided to leave and eventually Stan left.
              The series hobbled on for one more series before calling it a day with all comedy towel well and truly rung out.
              There where to be 3 films made that bore no relation in the time line towards the series and where done purely to make a bit of cash.

              CAST:
              ~~~~~~
              Stan Butler played by Reg Varney
              Jack Harper played by Bob Grant
              Blakey played by Stephen Lewis (I ate you Butler!)
              Stans mum, played by Cicely Courtneidge (series 1)
              Stans mum, played by Doris Hare (series 2-7)
              Olive played by Anna Karen
              Arthur played by Michael Robbins (series 1-6)


              Series 7
              =======
              1. Olive's Divorce
              Olive gets her divorce from Arthur but needs lots of cheering up causing Stan problems.

              2. The Perfect Clippie
              Olive gets a job at the depot but ends up doing everything to the letter of the rule book.

              3. The Ticket Machine
              Mum and Olive become catalogue agents but end up keeping everything until the bailiffs arrive at the front door.

              4. The Poster
              The boys must smarten up their appearance or else!

              5. The Football Match
              The bus company offer a £5 per man to beat a rival football team but things go awry when the other team turns out to all be women.

              6. On The Omnibuses
              A trip back through time with all the cast taking on roles of a bygone era.

              7. Goodbye Stan
              Stan leaves in this episode to earn better money and then send it back home to mum and Olive.
              Stan left the series at this point never to return.
              The program only lasted a few more episodes before finishing for good.

              8. Hot Water
              Blakey moves into the Butler household in an attempt to keep the laughs going.

              9. The Visit
              Blakeys mum comes to visit him at the butlers house and is not impressed.

              10. What The Stars Foretell
              Mum and Olive believe that Blakey is about to propose to one of them but which one?

              11. The Allowance
              A strong feminist clippie causes chaos at the depot and makes Blakeys life hell.

              12. Friends In High Places
              Mum Butler becomes the cook at the depot canteen and meets an old flame from her past.

              13. Gardening Time
              Blakey and Jack go head to head in a gardening contest to see who is the best.

              AND SO ENDETH THE FINAL EPISODE OF 'ON THE BUSES'
              CHEERIO.


              Blimey as Stan would say where do you start with an opinion?
              Well to be fair the series absolutely mirrored the times in which they where made. The girls where all "Birds" and were flashing their legs whilst the boys where desperately chasing them. There were the now cringing racist jokes, everybody seemed to smoke like chimneys.

              Occasionally the bus drivers would get drunk, drive straight past a bus stop or even make the passengers wait while they stopped off for a bit of "Nookie". A bit like today really?
              Watching the shows is like watching a docu-soap of the times they where shot in, fascinating.
              Aurthur left at the conclusion of series 6 and as series 7 began with 'Olives divorce' the show lost a little of its spark.
              The comedy was always a bit thin and when Stan left half way through series 7 the show really began to suffer and even with Blakey moving into the butler family home it still really went down hill.

              The one highlight was Olive, she was a superb actress and I felt never really got true recognition.
              The show made Stan and Blakey iconic household names and it was the chemistry of hate between these two that the whole show sailed along on.

              Worth a watch but will only raise a titter.

              Greg.

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                01.01.2011 22:07
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                Worth a read.

                Blaze of Glory.
                ==========
                The crew are back in this 34th instalment of the adventures of the Enterprise, her Capt and the usual crew.

                The story contains all of the regular favourites, Capt Picard, of course, Riker, Deanna, Data, Geordie, Worf and a few new faces, one of whom is wearing the infamous red shirt, only Trekkies will understand that old star trek reference.

                The enterprise is called to Starbase 37 when a rogue Pirate ship, an old Constitution- class Starship, equipped with a cloaking device, is attacking and plundering ships in the k'trall system.
                But here they will find deeper problems with double dealing rulers, Romulans and hidden agendas from all the above parties.

                The book gets its title from the Capt of the pirate ship, Blaze and the name of his ship, the Glory, hence Blaze of glory.

                I won't go into anymore detail in regards to the storyline but it's fair to say it's a standard star trek novel, easy to read, fast paced and if you read it on the beach you will fly through it or you can easily pick it up and put it down without losing the thread.

                The ending was predictable and I really did see it coming but it was worth my time to read this fun novel.

                Really only for sci-fi fans and more probably specifically for star trek fans.
                Book is only 277 pages long and you will soon churn through them.

                Recommended for the beach.

                Greg

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                  03.07.2010 22:00
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                  Worth a watch

                  CAPTAIN SCARLET and The Mysterons.
                  =================================

                  ~ INTRODUCTION ~
                  *************************
                  Here we are again with another Gerry Anderson Brain child.

                  Captain Scarlet followed hot on the heels of Gerry's global success of Thunderbirds and he didn't disappoint.

                  2065
                  *******
                  Captain Scarlet and Captain Black are on Mars when Capt Black, against Scarlets wishes fires upon a Martain base and destroys it.
                  The Martains or Mysterons immediately declare war on Earth.
                  Scarlet manages to escape but the Mysterons kill Capt Black and resurrect a duplicate of him to do their bidding.
                  He will be Scarlets nemesis for the rest of the series.

                  Scarlet is later killed by the Mysterons and his duplicate erected to work further sabotage but in an accident the duplicate is itself killed.
                  But then something strange happens, the duplicate comes back to life but with all of Capt Scarlets memories, traits and loyalties and free from Mysteron control.
                  And he now has the ability to renew himself if he is injured or killed making him indestructible, as in the words of the opening title song.

                  MYSTERONS:
                  ******************
                  The Mysterons are never seen, ever, they are portrayed as disembodied voices and have strange eye shaped roving lights that can take over a person or thing once the original has been destroyed.

                  SPECTRUM:
                  ****************
                  Spectrum is a float sky base and has an eclectic collection of other agents working alongside Scarlet to keep the Earth safe from Mysteron attacks.
                  It is headed by Colonel White who has other agents under him such as Capt Blue, lieutenant green, capt grey etc...
                  They would use call signs like;
                  S.I.G Spectrum Is Green, everything being OK
                  S.I.R Spectrum Is Red, everything is not good.
                  The bas would be protected by its 'Angels' a crew of female pilots tasked with meeting most attacks on the base.

                  A single DVD contianing episode 25-32

                  25. Flight 104
                  Whilst on a flight to Geneva the plane they are travelling on becomes controlled by the Mysterons, can Scarlet save the day

                  26. Noose Of Ice
                  Scarlet and Blue must repair a heating reactor or there will be trouble at the north pole.

                  27. Codename Europa
                  The Mysterons intend to kill three top people and Scarlet can only be in one place at a time so he comes up with a cunning plan.

                  28. Flight To Atlantica
                  Capt Black drugs two agents and then gives them false orders, Scarlet must save the day.

                  29. Treble Cross
                  The Mysterons retrometabolise a dead pilot but unbeknownst to them the real pilot has just been brought back from the dead, now spectrum can beat the Mysterons at their own game.

                  30. Attack On Cloudbase
                  Have the Mysterons finally come directly to Earth themselves and is this the final battle?

                  31. The Inquisition
                  Blue is under suspicion but proving he is not a Mysteron agent is going to be a tricky deal.

                  32. Inferno
                  Will the Earth finally succumb to a deadly Mysteron attack and will Scarlet finally have to really die to save his friends?

                  Opinions
                  ************
                  Filmed in 'Supermarionation' was, in its day, the Blu Ray or HD of todays Television. It was very colourful, had models that you could buy, stories that where very easy to follow and clearly defined goodies and baddies.

                  The lip sink of the puppets mouths to words was funny at times and the zooming in of the hands to peoples real hands always raised a smile.
                  It was a childs program but with the revamp and a 21st century digital version coming out the later version had a more crisp and modern edge to it.

                  Captain Scarlet was a true hero and even had a resemblance to Roger Moore but sounded very much like Cary Grant. This is a series worth revisiting but probably kiddies today would prefer the cartoon type version.

                  The total series spanned 32 episodes of wonderful nostalgia that will really take you back to proper kids TV.
                  Highly recommended.
                  Greg.

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                    23.06.2010 23:48
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                    Only bother if your a trekkie.

                    ALL NEW STAR TREK 2
                    =====================
                    ADAPTED BY JAMES BLISH.

                    This book contains 8 episodes from the 2nd series from the original Star Trek. It has been adapted or rather massively shrunken down so that all 8 episodes can fit into this small pocket sized book. At 122 pages long it is a fast paced and very quick read.

                    So let me take you on a nostalgic journey to unknown realms of discovery,
                    To boldly go where no man has gone before.

                    These original contain all of the classic crew,
                    James T Kirk, Spock Scotty, Uhura, Mr Chekov, Mr Sulu, and Dr McCoy, sit back and see which ones you remember.....

                    Arena.
                    Kirk arrives with the enterprise at a far outpost to find everyone on the planet murdered. He is then attacked by an alien craft and so give chase. But he and the captain of the other spaceship are removed from their bridges and placed on a nearby planet and must fight to the death. The winner saving his ship from destruction by the invisible god like beings that are not happy at his and the aliens aggressive natures.
                    Kirk must defeat the reptilian like creature called the Gorn or his ship and all the crew face certain death ooohhh wonder who wins?

                    A taste of Armageddon
                    The enterprise arrives to broker peace between 2 planets but then find that the war is all in the computers mind but the casualties are very real. People must report to destruction chambers in order to keep everything in balance and kirks ship has become a casualty of war. Kirk must do something to stop his crew from being destroyed.

                    Tomorrow is yesterday
                    The ship hits a tiny collapsing star and are thrown back to the mid 1970's where they are spotted by an aircraft and consequently end up with its pilot aboard. How can they put things right and get back to their own time?

                    Erand of mercy
                    Kirk arrives at the planet of Organia only to find that the Klingons are already there and trying to broker a deal with its inhabitants for control of the planet. Soon the enterprise and the Klingon Warbird are face to face but the Organians are not what they seem or as defenceless as they seem.

                    Court martial
                    Kirk is accused of killing a fellow officer and his own log condemns him. The only people who could have faked the log is himself, Spock or the dead man and then a heartbeat is heard.

                    Operation - annihilate!
                    Boy I remember this one from when I was kid, flat plasticky creatures are landing on peoples backs and then driving them insane until one lands on Spock and then the real culprit is revealed.

                    The city on the edge of forever
                    Should have been called "The Guardian of Forever" as the Captain and Spock must follow Dr McCoy through a time portal back to the 1930's in order to catch McCoy who has gone a little nuts, originally starred Joan Collins.

                    Space seed
                    This is the episode where we first meet 'Khan' he and his deluded band of misfits think that their genetically mutated bodies are the way forward but after butting heads with the enterprise they and their ship, the 'Botany Bay' are left stranded on an unknown planet.
                    This episode went on to inspire a feature film, the 2nd one called 'The Wrath of Khan"


                    A fast paced book and over very quickly. The book and indeed each episode has been massively condensed and along the way something has definitely been lost. There has simply been far too much taken out. A pity really as it detracts from the fun of the book.
                    It is just as well I can remember each episode from my childhood. If you are coming in cold to this book you will find it very thin and lacking and real punch but then it was probably aimed at true sci fi or actual star trek fans anyhow.

                    Not worth your time if star trek is not you cup of tea.
                    5/10

                    Greg.

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                    • Joe 90 - Vol. 5 (DVD) / DVD / 61 Readings / 61 Ratings
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                      21.06.2010 07:57
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                      Kiddies will love it.

                      JOE 90
                      =======
                      Written by Gerry & Sylvia Anderson

                      This brings back so many childhood memories.

                      ~ Introduction ~
                      *******************
                      From the intro music and the spinning chair, if you where a kid you were hooked.
                      The premise was simple, Genius professor Ian McClaine had created the B.I.G.R.A.T. device, Brain Impulse Galvanoscope Record And Transfer, which can download directly into the brain the special qualities needed to complete various secret missions.

                      Enter JOE, the bespectacled 9 year old adopted son of the genius Prof. Joe had lost both parent in a car accident when he was 12 months old.
                      At the start of each episode Joe would enter the chair and the spinning arms would transfer the info direct into his brain,
                      Once the transfer was complete, Joe would don a pair of 'electrode glasses' to trigger the new knowledge housed within him.

                      Equipped with his armoury of gadgets, Joe undertakes a series of daring special missions. Various missions called upon him to become an expert racing driver, brain surgeon, astronaut, test pilot, aquanaut and computer boffin.
                      This was Gerry Anderson's ninth consecutive TV puppet series. You could say he was on a role. At the time it was slick, new, colourful and fun. I think even kids today would enjoy it.

                      And in case you are wondering why was the series called Joe 90? When Joe joined W.I.N. there were 89 London based agents in operation. Joe became the 90th - hence JOE 90

                      ~ Cast ~
                      ***********
                      Joe 90
                      Professor Ian McClaine
                      Sam Loover, head of the World Intelligence Network (W.I.N.),
                      Shane Weston W.I.N. Deputy Controller Supreme Commander of W.I.N. London Office
                      Mrs Harris, the oblivious-to-it-all house cleaner

                      Made from 1968 -1969 and consists of 30, 25 minute episodes.
                      Each disc contains 6, 25 minute episode

                      25. Test Flight
                      A demolition expert is Joes next brain bung as he trie to rescue a trapped computer wiz kid.

                      26. Child Of The Sun God
                      Joe treks into the jungle to find a cure for a deadly poison that someone is using to paralyse politicians and agents alike.

                      27. Trial At Sea
                      A hoverliner is being sabotaged and Joe must track down the culprits.

                      28. See You Down There
                      Someone is infiltrating WINs computer and Joe must hack in and find the evil doer.

                      29. The Birthday
                      Joe is 10 and on his birthday and everyone throws a special surprise party.

                      30. Viva Cordova
                      Joe becomes a top bodyguard to protect a stubborn President.


                      ~ Opinions ~
                      ***************
                      Wondefully old fashioned puppetry that children today will be agog over. This is what old nostalgic childrens TV was all about. A superb inventive puppetry sci-fi programme. A product of its time but none the less a delightfully innoffensive childrens show.

                      It will hook childrens imagination straight away and hold their attention, who needs xbox games?
                      Great music, some mild suspension whilst the picture as well and the sound is true DVD quality.

                      Even todays kids would enjoy the show.
                      Worth the money!

                      Highly recommended.

                      Greg.

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                      • More +
                        18.06.2010 12:55
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                        Went on too long

                        ON THE BUSES
                        ============
                        Written by created by Ronald Wolfe and Ronald Chesney and originally broadcast from 1969 to 1973.
                        On the buses ran for 74 episodes each being a half hour long and lasted for 7 series.
                        They also made 3 movies, On the Buses, Mutiny on the Buses and Holiday on the Buses.


                        INTRODUCTION:
                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                        The bus station that Stan, Jack and Blakey worked at was The Luxton & District Bus Company and most of the episodes where centered either around here or at their home where Stan lived with his mum Mabel, sister Olive and her husband Arthur.

                        Poor old Stan was always trying to 'get off with a "Bird"' but failed miserably time and time again. His best mate Jack didn't help, as he was the one who generally knicked the girl from him. His family where always spoiling his plans, sometimes innocently or if Arthur found out, on purpose.

                        In the end Stan spend most of his time desperately failing to get anywhere.
                        In the first series Stans mum was played by Cicely Courtneidge who was a house hold name and a star in her own right but she left and that's when Doris Hare took over the role and made it her own.

                        The series pretty much carried on in the same vein until Arthur decided to leave and eventually Stan left.
                        The series hobbled on for one more series before calling it a day with all comedy towel well and truly rung out.

                        There where to be 3 films made that bore no relation in the time line towards the series and where done purely to make a bit of cash.

                        CAST:
                        ~~~~~~
                        Stan Butler played by Reg Varney
                        Jack Harper played by Bob Grant
                        Blakey played by Stephen Lewis (I ate you Butler!)
                        Stans mum, played by Cicely Courtneidge (series 1)
                        Stans mum, played by Doris Hare (series 2-7)
                        Olive played by Anna Karen
                        Arthur played by Michael Robbins (series 1-6)


                        Series 6
                        =======
                        1. No Smoke Without Fire.
                        A smoking ban goes wrong and a bus ends up burning to the ground.

                        2. Love Is What You Make It.
                        Stan tries to help Arthur and Olive who are going through a bad patch.

                        3. Private Hire
                        Stan needs money and fast and comes up with a startling idea to get some.

                        4. Stan's Worst Day
                        Arthur and Olives marriage is nearing collapse and Stan isn't helping things.

                        5. Union Trouble
                        The union take on the management with Stan caught in the middle.

                        6. Bye, Bye Blakey
                        The boys get the wrong end of the stick and think Blakey is dying.

                        7. The Prize
                        Mum wins a prize of a holiday but then the organiser does a bunk with the money from the raffle.


                        OPINIONS:
                        ~~~~~~~~~
                        Blimey as Stan would say where do you start with an opinion?
                        Well to be fair the series absolutely mirrored the times in which they where made. The girls where all "Birds" and were flashing their legs whilst the boys where desperately chasing them. There were the now cringing racist jokes, everybody seemed to smoke like chimneys.

                        Occasionally the bus drivers would get drunk, drive straight past a bus stop or even make the passengers wait while they stopped off for a bit of "Nookie". A bit like today really?
                        Watching the shows is like watching a docu-soap of the times they where shot in, fascinating.

                        Aurthur left at the conclusion of series 6 and as series 7 began with 'Olives divorce' the show lost a little of its spark.
                        The comedy was always a bit thin and when Stan left half way through series 7 the show really began to suffer and even with Blakey moving into the butler family home it still really went down hill.

                        The one highlight was Olive, she was a superb actress and I felt never really got true recognition.
                        The show made Stan and Blakey iconic household names and it was the chemistry of hate between these two that the whole show sailed along on.

                        Worth a watch but will only raise a titter.

                        Greg.

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                        • More +
                          07.03.2010 22:04
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                          Cartoon humour made real

                          The Three Stooges Collection Volume 6
                          =================================

                          Early Stooges History:
                          =================
                          Most people think of the 3 stooges as Curly, Larry and Moe. However that's not how it all began.
                          Some of the shorts and movies can confuse people when strange faces are seen appearing AS the 3 stooges.

                          Here is a quick recap:
                          In the mid 1920's Ted Healy put together a team to tour the theatres, they where Shemp (Howard), his brother Moe (Howard) and a good friend Larry (Fine). They where called Ted Healy and His Racketeers.
                          Later Shemp left and Ted recruited another Howard brother, Curly.
                          Eventually Ted Healy left and Curly, Larry and Moe went on to become The Three Stooges.
                          The most famous line up was complete.

                          Their where to be a further 2 stooges, Joe and Curly Joe who respectively replaced Curly when he sadly passed away.

                          Contained are 2 DVD's with the following films on each:

                          Disc One
                          ======
                          1. The Ghost Talks
                          2. Who Done It?
                          3. Hokus Pokus
                          4. Fuelin' Around
                          5. Malice in the Palace
                          6. Vagabond Loafers
                          7. Dunked in the Deep
                          8. Punchy Cowpunchers
                          9. Hugs and Mugs
                          10. Dopey Dicks
                          11. Love at First Bite
                          12. Self-Made Maids


                          Disc Two
                          =======

                          13. Three Hams on Rye
                          14. Studio Stoops
                          15. Slaphappy Sleuths
                          16. A Snitch in Time
                          17. Three Arabian Nuts
                          18. Baby Sitters Jitters
                          19. Don't Throw That Knife
                          20. Scrambled Brains
                          21. Merry Mavericks
                          22. The Tooth Will Out
                          23. Hula-La-La
                          24. Pest Man Wins


                          Opinions:
                          ======
                          They where a product of their time from Vaudeville days and then onto the silver screen. Loved by generations of fans and with an oft copied style but never matched.
                          The movies on these 2 DVD's are wonderful to watch and will leave you smiling.

                          The 3 stooges are one of my favourite comedy teams of all time.
                          Their humour was tried and tested and involved lots and I mean lots of physical humour with very violent but at the same time cartoon type sentiments. A bit like a tom and jerry cartoon or the road runner and coyote where you know that even when an anvil drops on his head 5 seconds later he will be back on his feet and fighting back.

                          Mostly the stooges fought amongst themselves but every now and again some poor sap or bystander would suffer the wrath and then all hell would let loose.

                          Though they changed their line up over the years, the same format kept them going for 40 years. From 1930 up until 1970.
                          This is timeless and inoffensive humour.

                          Sound quality at times is a bit scratchy but to me that adds to the enjoyment.
                          Picture quality is along the same lines, not really DVD but non the less highly watchable.
                          DVD Extras, non to speak of apart from the usual Chapter selection.

                          Highly recommended.

                          Greg.

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                            05.02.2010 00:55
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                            GIVE IT A GO.

                            CAPTAIN SCARLET and The Mysterons.
                            =================================

                            ~ INTRODUCTION ~
                            *************************
                            Here we are again with another Gerry Anderson Brain child.

                            Captain Scarlet followed hot on the heels of Gerry's global success of Thunderbirds and he didn't disappoint.

                            2065
                            *******
                            Captain Scarlet and Captain Black are on Mars when Capt Black, against Scarlets wishes fires upon a Martain base and destroys it.
                            The Martains or Mysterons immediately declare war on Earth.
                            Scarlet manages to escape but the Mysterons kill Capt Black and resurrect a duplicate of him to do their bidding.
                            He will be Scarlets nemesis for the rest of the series.

                            Scarlet is later killed by the Mysterons and his duplicate erected to work further sabotage but in an accident the duplicate is itself killed.
                            But then something strange happens, the duplicate comes back to life but with all of Capt Scarlets memories, traits and loyalties and free from Mysteron control.
                            And he now has the ability to renew himself if he is injured or killed making him indestructible, as in the words of the opening title song.

                            MYSTERONS:
                            ******************
                            The Mysterons are never seen, ever, they are portrayed as disembodied voices and have strange eye shaped roving lights that can take over a person or thing once the original has been destroyed.

                            SPECTRUM:
                            ****************
                            Spectrum is a float sky base and has an eclectic collection of other agents working alongside Scarlet to keep the Earth safe from Mysteron attacks.
                            It is headed by Colonel White who has other agents under him such as Capt Blue, lieutenant green, capt grey etc...
                            They would use call signs like;
                            S.I.G Spectrum Is Green, everything being OK
                            S.I.R Spectrum Is Red, everything is not good.
                            The bas would be protected by its 'Angels' a crew of female pilots tasked with meeting most attacks on the base.

                            A single DVD containing episodes 19-24

                            19. Dangerous Rendezvous
                            Colonel White contacts the Mysterons and arranges a meeting in order to bring peace but is all as it seems?

                            20. Special Assignment
                            Ha sScarlet gone bad? He is asked to kill his friend Blue, will he do it?

                            21. Place Of Angels
                            Germ warfare as Scarlet and Blue must recover a deadly bio weapon before it's too late.

                            22. Crater 101
                            Will The Mysterons finally kill Scarlet properly once and for all? And will Blue and Green die with him on the Moon?

                            23. Expo 2068
                            Scarlet and Blue must find a missing atomic reactor but Capt Black is hampering them as much as he can, will they be too late?

                            24. Traitor
                            Has Scarlet finally turned to the Mysteron side or is he being set up.



                            Opinions
                            ************
                            Filmed in 'Supermarionation' was, in its day, the Blu Ray or HD of todays Television. It was very colourful, had models that you could buy, stories that where very easy to follow and clearly defined goodies and baddies.

                            The lip sink of the puppets mouths to words was funny at times and the zooming in of the hands to peoples real hands always raised a smile.
                            It was a childs program but with the revamp and a 21st century digital version coming out the later version had a more crisp and modern edge to it.

                            Captain Scarlet was a true hero and even had a resemblance to Roger Moore but sounded very much like Cary Grant. This is a series worth revisiting but probably kiddies today would prefer the cartoon type version.

                            The total series spanned 32 episodes of wonderful nostalgia that will really take you back to proper kids TV.
                            Highly recommended.

                            Greg.

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                              30.01.2010 20:02
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                              Give it a go.

                              Dads army
                              ========
                              I truly have a huge soft spot in my heart for this wonderfully brilliant series.
                              Written by: Jimmy Perry, David Croft
                              Ran from 1968 - 1977 and spanned 9 Series.

                              Location:
                              =======
                              Walmington-On-Sea on the Sussex coast.
                              (Actually filmed in Thetford, Norfolk although other minor locations around Suffolk and Norfolk where occasionally used).

                              The cast:
                              =======
                              Arthur Lowe as
                              Captain George Mainwaring
                              A pompous bank manager who self appoints himself as the Capt of the Local Defence Volunteers, LDV who are later renamed, The Home Guard. He takes himself far too seriously and often makes up stories to build up his self importance.

                              John Le Mesurier as
                              Sgt Arthur Wilson
                              Chief clerk at Mr Mainwarings bank and Public school educated which gets right up Mr Mainwarings nose. Arthur is a 'Dandy' and a real ladies man and the unspoken father of 'Pike'. Nothing ever gets Arthur flustered except perhaps bad manners.

                              Clive Dunn as
                              Lance Corporal Jack Jones
                              Jack is the local Butcher who had his own catchphrase of "They don't like it up Em" and "Don't Panic!". A stickler for following the chain of command and so, a strong, sycophantic, supporter of Capt Mainwaring.

                              John Laurie as
                              Jock Frazier.
                              The local undertaker and stereotypical dour Scot. Mean with his money and takes every opportunity to put down Capt Mainwarings preening and pompous strutting. Similarly has a catchphrase, "Where doomed"

                              Ian Lavender as
                              Frank "Stupid Boy" Pike.
                              Wet as dishwater and molly coddled by his mum, Mrs Pike and suspected son of Arthur. Pike generally breaks things all falls in any available water.

                              James Beck as
                              Joe Walker.
                              Joe is a bit of a Spiv or 'Wide Boy'. If you need it Joe can get it for you at a price. He is always passing sarcastic comments around Capt Mainwaring.

                              Arnold Ridley as
                              Charles Godfrey.
                              The politest person you will ever meet and in charge of the first aid kit. Godfrey is soft, quiet and gentle and has problems with needing a pee. He is always being caught short or falling asleep at the most inappropriate moments. A bachelor who lives with his two sisters Dolly and Cissy.

                              Other Characters:
                              Bill Pertwee as
                              Warden Bill Hodges
                              The local Greengrocer and arch enemy of Capt Mainwaring. He often refers to Mainwaring as 'Napoleon'. Always comes a cropper in any plans he makes to make the Home Guard look daft.

                              Frank Williams as
                              Rev Farthing
                              Vicar of the local church and the hall that both the wardens and the Home Guard use for drills and meetings. This often causes ill feeling between them.
                              A limp and useless Clergy who moans because his bell have been taken to aid the war effort.

                              Edward Sinclair as
                              The Verger.
                              Constantly buzzing around the vicar and buttering up to him at every opportunity.

                              The premise was as simple as it was funny, following a bunch of aging but caring OAPs as they set up a defence should Hitler reach our shores. Their defences would not have stood up to a good wind!
                              But their hearts, if not their brains, where always in the right places. And you where never left in any doubt each and every one of them would have laid down their lives in protection of the country they loved.

                              Series 8
                              ========
                              1: Ring Dem Bells
                              The platoon are asked to dress as Germans for a War training film but soon people in the town think that they have been invaded.

                              2: When You've Got To Go
                              Pike is finally called up but during a fish and chip supper he announces that he's not going because of his rare blood group.

                              3: Is There Honey Still For Tea?
                              Frazer uses blackmail of an old school colleague to save Godfreys cottage from being demolished.

                              4: Come In, Your Time Is Up
                              The platoon capture 3 German pilots by shooting their dingy with an arrow to make it sink when they refuse to come ashore.

                              5: High Finance
                              Jones can't pay his bills because he hasn't been paid by so and so who hasn't been paid by, well you get the picture. Soon the £50 is passing around the table and Jones ends up all square with the bank.

                              6: The Face On The Poster
                              Mr Jones is mistaken for a runaway prisoner and imprisoned and when the platoon turn up to help they all end up inside with him.

                              Special Episode
                              ==========
                              My Brother And I
                              Arthur plays Capt Mainwaring and his double drunken brother who causes him all sorts of embarrassment.

                              Special Episode
                              ===========
                              The Love Of Three Oranges
                              Capt Mainwaring buys an Orange for his wife at a local auction, wel there is a war on you know.

                              Opinions:
                              ========
                              Born in 64 I don't remember the original early episodes but do remember some of the later series on TV. A wonderful, gentle and tongue in cheek look at us Brits during the War.
                              The cast where simply delightful to watch, even their sometimes fluffed lines. Apparently Arthur Lowe sometimes only learnt his lines moments before recording took place. Even the enigmatic John Le Mesurier sometimes 'winged' it.

                              The interaction between the actors was simply sublime and that grew even more so as time went by.
                              John Laurie once said that the show would not last a series, how wrong he was, thankfully. John was classically trained and originally only did the show in between film.

                              For Ian Lavender this was to be only a bit part but soon Arthur was telling him to stand next to him during filming so as to be on film more often and it worked as they gave Pikey a permanent role.
                              Sadly James Beck died at an early age and 'The Magnificent Seven' where down to only six.
                              Arnold Ridley played a gentle pacifistic role but in reality had served at the front and in real life suffered dreadful injuries.

                              Clive Dunn was always my favourite as he was the barmiest and it was he that always ended up ruining all of the well laid plans of Mr Mainwaring, who needs friend like these indeed.

                              Memorable catchphrases are aplenty,
                              "Stupid Boy"
                              "I say, do you mind awfully just falling in"
                              "They don't like it up 'em"
                              "We're doomed!"
                              "I'll 'ave you Napoleon!"
                              "There is a war on you know"
                              "Stop mollycoddling the boy"
                              "I wondered who was going to spot that first!"

                              Timeless humour mixed in with actual and factual parts of war history give this comedy a status of real comedy gold.
                              The cast where all, (apart from Pikey and I suppose Jonesy who always acted way older than he really was), getting on in years and to last as long as it did was an achievement not only to the actors determination but to all of the background people as well.

                              Picture and sound quality are superb and true DVD quality.
                              Subtitles can be put on and again are accurately transcribed.

                              Greg.

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                              • More +
                                24.01.2010 10:01
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                                Not really recommended.

                                Sainsbury's Basics Mushy Peas
                                =================

                                As a change from the Tescos brand that I normally eat, thought I would give these a go instead. My wife likes salmon but I find salmon tasteless so I had some yellow fish. Two big pieces and a whole tin of Mushy Peas.

                                These are NOT the best Mushy Peas on the market by far and probably comes somewhere in the bottom of the range.

                                Takes about 10 minutes in the pan, I like to cook them very slowly. But watch them carefully or they can easily burn or stick to the pan even a non stick pan! They are a almost luminous green in colour and to start with a bit runny but after ten minutes heat they begin to get a proper thickness to their texture. Once you have them very gently bubbling then they are good to go.

                                The smell does have a 'Pea' smell to it and the consistency, once properly cooked, is sadly a bit thin.
                                Apparently they can be microwaved so would suit a student down to the ground.

                                The taste is fairly good for the 'Basics' range but to be honest I have gone back to the Tesco brand and always have a tin of those in the cupboard somewhere.

                                At a cost of 19p can you really go wrong?
                                They are even low in Calories but sadly a bit high in Sugar and carbohydrates.

                                Best eaten with fish, either a chippy fish or Yellow fish.
                                For the thrill seekers out there, try them with Yorkshire pud, also goes well with fried egg and even compliments Black Pudding.

                                To sum up,
                                You get what you pay for but at least on a cold day they will stick to your ribs and make you feel full.

                                The Info:
                                300g tin
                                100 g Contains:
                                75 calories,
                                10.7g carbohydrate,
                                1.7g sugars,
                                3.4g protein,
                                2.9g fibre,
                                0.2 fat,
                                0.2g salt.

                                Greg.

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