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'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?', the hit game show that has changed the entire history of game shows. The premise is simple; a fun and friendly host asks a contestant a set of questions with four possible answers. Upon answering a question the contestant gets a cash reward. Each correct answer doubles the previous reward until the contestant is playing for thousands and finally of course, a million. If a contestant finds a question difficult, three options are available: Ask the audience, Phone a friend and 50/50. This gameshow is fun to watch. It is very enjoyable and I like it enormously. I just wish it was on more often. It really makes my evenings worthwhile. The presenter, Chris Tarrant is a real card. He teases the contestants and is a big suit wearing bundle of laughs. Must dash, it starts soon... **********PLEASE NOTE********** As you may have guessed, this is not my original opinion on this subject. However, DooYoo have decided that you should not be allowed to see my original opinion despite it getting 17 Very Usefuls, 3 Usefuls and 9 comments before it was removed! So, if you want to read the original, please email: email@example.com
"Oh, lovely, lovely draughts, where have you been all my life?" Have you ever found yourself running naked through the streets shouting this familiar phrase? I know I have. Yes, crazy but true, I have only very recently discovered the outrageous board game known as draughts. (Also known as checkers.) Don't get me wrong, I vaguely remember playing the game as a small boy but foolishly dismissed it as mere childish folly. Well, I was wrong, oh, so wrong. To cut a short story even shorter, myself and a friend had recently been squabbling over a woman. Our constant bickering was getting us nowhere so we eventually decided to have a duel to decide once and for all who should be the one to wed the lovely lady in question. We then had to discuss the form the duel should take. I suggested naked Pictionary, my friend suggested semi-naked draughts. After much discussion we plumped for the latter. The day of the duel arrived and we both eyed each other nervously across the draughts board. I was wearing my lucky denim vest and sensible white briefs. My friend had selected his favourite fishnet Y-fronts, no vest- this guy was serious. This was the first time I had played draughts since I was a nipper so the rules were unfamiliar and my playing technique was a little rusty to say the least. I soon realised, however, that I was a natural. Draughts is a little like chess in that it's played on the same board. Unlike chess though, it's much simpler and more straight forward to play so you don't get bogged down in rules and are free to concentrate on tactics. Anyway, to cut a short story even shorter than the last time I cut it short, after just a few minutes my friend whipped my proverbial ass and I had to concede defeat, but by this time it didn't matter to me one bit because I was totally hooked on draughts and I realised that it was my destiny to become the King of Draughts and take over the worl
d with my draught playing skills. I did what any man in my position would do- I ripped of my lucky vest and filthy pants and ran outside screaming and shouting, proclaiming my love for draughts. People came out of their houses to cheer me as I ran. I heard later that the local 'Toys R Us' sold out of draught sets soon after. Since that fateful day I have given up my job to concentrate on my draught playing on a full time basis. I play once, sometimes twice a day and have been close to winning a game on more than one occasion! I'm sure thousands of you will have similar draught stories to tell. Please get in touch- together we can rule the Universe! Oh, and as for the lady we were fighting over? It turned out that my friend and I had just imagined her, she had never actually existed at all. Who'd have thought it?
If like me, you’re a hideous, pale, wheezing, scrawny, sickly excuse for a human being then chances are you could well do with a vitamin boost. There are plenty of vitamin supplements on the market, I’ve even heard that some foods contain vitamins but I very much doubt that. Anyway, I’m far too rock ‘n’ roll to ever consider health issues, I get all the vitamins I need from cigarettes and toothpaste thankyou very much. My four year old son, Bass Jnr, is a different matter entirely however, and I would much prefer to see him grow into a strapping young lad who all the ladies admire for his fresh complexion, muscular frame, twinkling eyes and bouncy hair. I therefore take his vitamin requirements seriously. He’s just getting to the age where he can tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy food and plumps for the unhealthy every time. But Dynajets always manage to fool him! Tasty, chewy sweet like things, Dynajets take on the appearance of the tastiest treat imaginable to a four year old. They trick him into thinking they are unhealthy and goodness free when in actual fact they are packed with all eleven essential vitamins needed for healthy growth and development. They come in a colourful bottle containing 30 tablets. Kids only need one a day after a meal to reap the benefits so a month's supply is available for just a few pounds. Of course, Dynajets cannot be relied upon as the only source of vitamins for a growing lad like Bass Jnr but they certainly help give a boost when he won’t eat his veg! As for me, I’ve tried a Dynajet and, being somewhat older and wiser than Bass Jnr, I could immediately taste the vitamin goodness secretly stashed inside...Disgusting! I washed away the taste with a pint of watery ale and a cigar and quickly returned to my feeble, frail, pallid self...Aaah, that’s better!
Walk into any McDonald's restaurant and you'll be sure to see a writhing pit of fat, slobbering, brain-dead fools cramming offal into their hideous chubby cakeholes like it was going out of fashion. Unfortunately scenes like this are not going out of fashion. Far from it, McDonald's is more popular than ever. McDonald's record of animal, human and environmental abuse is legendary and yet still people continue to buy the turgid muck that McDonald's spew out. McDonald's tell us that their food is 'nutritious', when it's actually junk food - high in fat, sugar and salt, and low in fibre and vitamins. Food like this is linked to heart disease, cancer, diabetes and other diseases. Their food also contains many chemical additives, some of which may cause ill health, and hyperactivity in children. "So what?" you belch. "I'm an adult. I'm capable of making informed decisions and if I choose to eat this disgusting bilge then that's just what I'll do." Fair enough, you pea brained cretin, but what about the children? Constantly bombarded with images of the grinning tosspot Ronald McDonald beckoning children into his greasy lair, tempting them with the promise of cheap, nasty toys and Happy meals. Happy Meals?? What's Happy about intensively farmed and barbarically slaughtered animals? What's Happy about rainforests being flattened at an alarming rate so livestock can be reared? What's Happy about poor countries producing cash crops to feed animals to be eaten in the West at the expense of local food needs? Happy, my arse! And yet children are constantly being told that McDonald's is a happy, entertaining and fun place to visit. For your own sake, for your children's sake and for everyone else's sake, steer well clear of Ronald 'Child-Catcher' McDonald's evil den.
Remove your hunger induced blinkers and see McDonald's for what it really is!
Having recently joined a boy band I felt obliged to add my two penneth to the current debate concerning whether or not boy and girl bands are actually any good. What people seem to misunderstand is that bands such as mine are all about fun. No, the lyrics aren't deep and meaningful. No, the music isn't intellectually challenging. But yes, it is great to sing along to and dance to and at the end of the day that's all that matters. It baffles me as to why people seem so preoccupied with the need for any kind of mental stimulation. Let's face it, life should be all about fun. Brainless, mindless, skull numbing FUN! If life is getting you down play some music and have some fun; who can argue with that?? Those who think that music should be able to increase understanding, spark debate, push boundaries, inspire ideas, fight prejudice, encourage social and cultural progress are wrong. Those people should get out more, dance more and have more fun 'cos that's what life's all about! What good will it do, selling our children inspiring and thought provoking music? If we are not careful we could easily create a society of free thinking, opinionated individuals! Yikes, scary! Who'd be left to drive the Venga bus to Ibiza? Like Ronan 'Boyzone' Keating says, "Life is a rollercoaster, you just gotta ride it!" Too right Ronan. Life is a crazy fairground ride! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
So DooYoo are cutting the payout per opinion from 25p to 10p? That would be fair enough if DooYoo came clean and admitted that they cannot afford to pay out so much money but instead they appear to be hiding behind an assortment of lies. In the DooYoo newsletter they say that "a lot of you are annoyed to see dooyoo users writing 75 words of poor prose for 250 miles when you've laboured long and hard over a well-argued opinion." Yes, I would agree with that but cutting the payout is like a teacher saying, "If no-one owns up then I'm going to punish all of you!"- making everyone suffer because of the stupidity of the few? I could never stand that kind of teacher. We're also told that "satisfaction really come from reads." I agree with that too, so in that case why not increase the payout per read? Less useful opinions are read less and quickly disappear from view- the useful opinions would be well rewarded. I keep hearing that payment is unimportant and we should all be writing opinions for the shear joy of it as though DooYoo is some kind of community based arts project when it is in actual fact a business run to make as much profit as possible. I'm sure all the staff at DooYoo enjoy working for the company but I'm also sure that it would be a lot less enjoyable if they were working for peanuts. I write for the fun of it but I also write for the small financial rewards. I will probably continue to write opinions in DooYoo after the payout has decreased but it seems quite obvious to me that the rewards have been cut due to financial pressure and this has been thinly disguised with lies from DooYoo... ...Not Very Useful! ******Update****** DooYoo have since announced that Premier opinions will now receive 1000 miles instead of 500 miles and it will now be possible to redeem a minimum of 10,000 miles for vouchers instead of 20,000. So things are looking
better than I had previously thought. Not that my opinions will ever receive Premier status- they're far too dangerous and exciting!!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know about the supposed ‘tried and trusted’ hangover cures; the pints of water, the fried brekkies, the hideous milkshake concoctions. But what’s the real cure? What can we genuinely rely upon to sooth our aching souls EVERY TIME we overindulge?? Well, after years of searching and experimenting I have finally stumbled across THE cure. This method allows you to drink as much alcohol as you desire and then some. It lets you slump into an unconscious dribbling mess on a seedy night-club dance floor and still feel fantastic the following morning! “So, what is this miracle cure, you cocky old ruffian?”, I hear you wheeze. This is it, published for the first time anywhere in the world! It takes a little bit of preparation beforehand but is well worth the effort, I’m sure you’ll agree: Firstly, fry two eggs in a tablespoon of sunflower oil. While the eggs are frying, grate about half a pound of cheddar cheese into a bowl. Once the eggs have fried let them cool to room temperature. Okay. Now you need to smear your lower face in glue. Apply a liberal amount and pay special attention to the top lip and chin areas. Before the glue has a chance to dry, dip your face into the bowl of grated cheese and really rub your chin into the bowl. Go on, give it a good rub. You will notice that much of the cheese has now stuck to your face. Next, take the two fried eggs and carefully sellotape one to each ear. Ensure that the yolk side is against your head if you really want to reap the maximum benefits. Finally, soak your underwear in engine oil. Any brand will do, but I find Castrol is particularly effective. Once you have slipped into your underwear you are ready to hit the town! Don’t ask me how this technique works but it does and it works a treat. Obviously it takes some guts to leave the house after applying this method but if you
8217;ve got the bottle you’ll be well rewarded. Who knows, I might see you out this Friday, drinking to your heart’s content. I’m the oily guy with the cheese beard and the eggs stuck to his head- Don’t be shy, come and say hello!
Really cheap and nasty newspapers always come with a horrible glossy magazine full of mediocre interviews with egocentric 'celebrities'. Several pages feature pictures of these so-called celebrities doing various things that no-one but the saddest of celebrity trainspotters would care about. Under each picture is a crap pun; a photo of Barbara Windsor holding a bottle of ketchup with the subtitle, 'Babs is saucier than ever.' You know the type of thing. Luckily magazines like this are free with newspapers.....Not any more! Heat is one of these no-brainer glossies but with a price of about £1.35. I can't imagine the type of saddoe who would buy such a publication but I would strongly urge them to GET A LIFE sooner rather than later. This magazine isn't really interested in anything other than 'celebrities' and what they are wearing, who they are dating, where they are going. And then it reviews music, films and tv programmes. Who would really take the opinions seriously of the celebrity obsessed dullards who write this trash??? If you really need to keep up to date with the whereabouts of minor tv personalities and film stars you can always read the freebies in the Sunday papers. Just don't waste your money on this rubbish.
I know why you're looking through the exam tips category of DooYoo. You've finished watching Songs Of Praise, you've carefully drawn and coloured your exam timetable, and now you're finally ready to get down to some serious revision. But wait! You'd better check out some revision opinions on DooYoo first, put off the revising for just a little bit longer. We've all been there, putting off exam revision for as long as possible. But why should we revise? Exams are not a useful assessment of intelligence or wisdom but merely a test of short term memory. Why should we spend hours and hours reading and re-reading the same old nonsense while those students blessed with a good memory only have to read something once and it's in their heads forever. The best and simplest solution is to cheat! In fact there are only two things preventing the average person from cheating: 1) Guilt. 2) Fear of getting caught. Neither of these points should be of any concern to the seasoned cheater. Guilt can be easily overcome. Once you leave college or university and venture out into the real world you will soon realise that guilt is a burden that must be shed as soon as possible. Bending the truth on your C.V, lying in interviews, being nice to colleagues you can't stand; these are all necessary activities that require a complete lack of guilt if you are to genuinely succeed in your chosen career. Cheating in exams is great practise for all the lying and cheating you're going to be forced into doing in the workplace. Of course there's always a chance that you are going to get caught. So what? Life's a gamble. Come on, live a little! If you're going to worry about that sort of thing then there's no point in doing the exam anyway because if you play it safe and don't take a few risks now you're not going to get very far in the real world anyway. <br> There are various methods of cheating ranging from the classic, looking over the clever student's shoulder, to the tried and trusted, little pieces of paper rolled into the inside of the pen. The method you choose will depend on personal circumstances coupled with whatever feels right for you. Try a few different cheating methods in your mock exams until you are happy with a style of cheating that feels right for you. So, now you've read this opinion don't waste anymore time reading books you will have forgotten about in a few months. Go out and enjoy yourself, life's too short! Happy cheating!
This advert happens to be advertising Budweiser lager. However, it could just as easily have been advertising British Telecom, Ikea, Burtons.....just about anything! It won't take advertising companies long to catch onto the fact that there are thousands of people around the country chanting a product's catchphrase and basically constantly reminding each other of the quirky coolness of Budweiser. One thing's for sure, we are definitely going to be swamped by similar annoying catchphrase based advertising campaigns in the not-too-distant future. I can hardly wait.
Everyone knows that most sports are complete rubbish. Football is for the stupid, cricket is for the boring and tennis is for the snobbish. Most the others are not even worth mentioning. The one sport that stands head and shoulders above the rest is the humble game of darts. No expensive equipment is necessary, players can wear what they want. Men can play against women on an equal level, as can the disabled. A certain level of physical fitness is not required. All in all darts is the sport for everyone. Best of all, it's usually played in pubs! Yes indeed, darts is the sport of the people.
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Everyone knows that getting a tattoo featuring the name of your current partner is very foolish indeed. While tattoos are permanent the same cannot always be said of partners and you could well end up having some embarrassing explaining to do to all the subsequent partners in your life. But be beware my friends! The name's of lovers are not the only tattoos to be avoided. Take care to avoid the names of pop groups that you may be currently into. You may have thought that names such as 'Bros' and 'East17' tattooed to your thighs looked good at the time, but now? Oh dear. Another thing to avoid is telephone numbers and postcodes. They may be relevant now but what if you move house or get your phone line disconnected? How embarrassing! Finally, never get a tattoo that features a location map of your local 'Everything for a Pound' shop. Retail outlets such as these often close down at short notice leaving you with a tattoo that not only looks ridiculous but also features outdated and incorrect information. I hope that these tips have been useful and will perhaps guide you towards making a more informed and sensible tattoo selection. Thanks for listening.
The news will always be an important programme. Informing us of what's going on around in the world, it uses television's powers and potential to the fullest. Murder, disaster, revolution- they're all here. Reporting things that, directly or indirectly, will affect us all. So why on earth is sport included in the news? What's newsworthy about a few blokes kicking balls around fields? I know that a lot of people love sport. Fine, let's have some programmes about sport. They could have names like 'Grandstand' or 'Match of the Day.' One of my interests is going to the cinema but I wouldn't expect the week's new film releases to be discussed on the news, so why is sport discussed? Because it's more important? Not in my house it's not! The news should cover current affairs. Sports programmes should cover sport. Simple. Let's not get them mixed up.