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Its Sunday Evening, I’ve got 43 Television Channels – but there is nothing on. My better half tells my to try the movie Channel, to which I reply “I’ve already tried it, there are just adverts on YOU MUPPET!” I changed the channel to prove my point only to discover, quite spookily, that the ad’s are finished and Muppets from Space is just starting. I smiled at my bloke and we decided to sit through what was to be one of the funniest children’s films ever. Now I have to admit that there is quite a lot of nostalgia involved. One of my earliest memories is of watching the Muppet show on a Friday night with my dad, whilst my mum was at the Bingo. I remember that I had to go to bed straight afterwards so it shows how young I must have been. The puppets are still the same as ever ( though I’m sure they are a little less flea bitten than I remember). There’s Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzy Bear, Animal, and of course my beloved Gonzo, whom this particular film revolves around. ( Interesting Fact ~ Did you know that the guy that does the voice for Fozzy Bear is the Same Guy that did the voice for Yoda in Star Wars? ) Anyway to the plot, Gonzo is having dreams about being alone. In one particular dream Noah won’t let him on the Ark as he is one of a kind and doesn’t know what species he is. So he wakes very depressed. As he tries to tell his friends how alone he feels they either fall asleep or carry on with what they are doing, making him feel worse. As he is eating his breakfast, he drops his letter shaped cereal on the table and a message is formed – “WATCH THE SKY”. He tells his friend, Rizzo that rat, who looks at the cereal, but the message has disappeared. He then gets a second message saying “ R U THERE?”. All the other Muppets think he is going mad, but he is convinced that he should watch the sky
and see what happens. He sits on the roof for a while, and is then hit by a bolt of lightening, that sends him flying into outer space. He is met by Two Flying Space Fish ( taken any illegal substances recently Mr Henson?). They inform him the he must cut his lawn, and spell out a message that is visible in outer space to make contact with whoever is seeking him. He leaves the message “I AM HERE”. The film now takes off as a secret Government agency wish to capture Gonzo, to prove there is alien life on earth ( reminded me a bit of Men in Black ), and Gonzo is desperately trying to contact the aliens in the hope that they are his family. Gonzo’s friends all rally together to help him, though they still believe he has gone crazy, and a heart-warming tale ensues. I won’t tell anymore of the plot, as I don’t wish to spoil it, but it is very funny. Even though this Film was made with Kids in mind, there are a couple of Adult Humour moments in the film. When Gonzo tells Rizzo he has had a strange dream, Rizzo replies “ Not the one with the Goat, the Dwarf and the Peanut Butter Again” ~ Now either I’ve got a dirty mind, or that’s a bit rude! There are many cameo performances in the Film ( as in all Muppets Movies ) Hulk Hogan - As a security Guard Andi Macdowell – as a news reporter David Arquette – as a mad scientist Ray Liotta – as a security guard Katie Holmes & Joshua Jackson – playing their Dawson’s Creek Characters on the beach. The soundtrack is pretty much all seventies music, but with the unique sound of the Muppets. The Certificate is “U”, as with most kid’s movies, but please do not that put you off. It’s a funny film. It only lasts about One Hour Twenty Minutes, which again is due to the fact that it was made with kids in mind. I
recommend this film to everyone, its not just for the kids, its for the generation that was brought up with the Muppets, they are still as funny as ever, and ageing great.
This comedy is original in the way it takes the c**p out of your religious believes but at the same time can give you faith. The story shows a refreshing look at religion as a whole, however, this film will in no way cause offence against your beliefs due to its lighthearted nature. The basic story is of Two Angels who were banished from Heaven Millennia ago. Loki ( Matt Damon) was the Angel of Death; doing Gods work when wrong was done. However, one day Loki got drunk and his friend Bartleby ( Ben Affleck), who felt sorry that humans had to suffer the Rathe of God, convinced Loki to lay down his Sword, thus ensuring that they were banished and that God banned all angels from consuming alcohol. Loki and Bartleby wish to return home to Heaven and discover a loop hole that may mean God would have to let them back in. A Catholic church is having a Centenary Celebration and declare that all who pass beneath the arch at the front of the church will have their sins removed and automatically go to heaven, so the two Angels set off from Wisconsin to New Jersey to do just that. They are being assisted by Azrael ( played by Jason Lee ), he was once a muse, but was cast down to hell for being a coward when there was a heavenly war. However, what they do not realise is that in doing so they will be proving God wrong, thus ending all of existence. Now usually this would be no problem for God to handle, but unfortunately God has gone missing whilst on one of her visits to earth in human form ( yes, God’s a woman)! So it falls upon Bethany ( Linda Fioentino) to save the day. She gets a visit from Metatron ( Alan Rickman), the voice of God, who tells her that she basically has to save the world. Though a practicing Catholic, Bethany has started to lose her faith since she lost the ability to conceive and thus lost her husband. Bethany also works at an abortion clinic, which doesn’t go down too well
with other Catholics. She has help from Two Prophets ( Jay – played by Jason Mewes, and Silent Bob – played by the Films director Kevin Smith) who both just want to get Bethany into bed. They are stoned most of the time and their main objective in life is to get laid. Along the way the meet one of the apostles named Rufus ( played by Chris Rock), Rufus is the unknown Thirteenth Apostle who has a grudge against the bible, as he was not mentioned in it, due to the fact he is black. They also get help from a sexy muse named Serendipity ( Salma Hayek), who gave up her job to write down her own ideas, but when faced with writers bloke, turned to being a stripper. The film follows the characters all the way to New Jersey and the dramatic and startling ending. The film is very funny, it had me laughing out loud, and has an all star cast that give excellent performances. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you how much the DVD costs as it was an early birthday present ( its my birthday tomorrow by the way, yippee!), but as most of you know most DVD’s are priced at around £20.00. The DVD also contains Cast and Crew Interviews and Trailers, which for me aren’t very exciting; I like to see deleted scenes as extras as its fun to see what could have been. Its well worth a watch if only to see how Silent Bob defeats the S**t Demon that is sent to kill them.
I would like to tell you a story about a Rock Group called Guns n’ Roses ( You may have heard of them). The original line up, formed in 1985, consisted of Axl Rose ( Vocals ), Slash ( Lead Guitar ), Duff ( Bass Guitar ), Izzy ( Rhythm Guitar ), Steven Adler ( Drums). They started out their career playing clubs in Los Angeles and released their first EP “ Live?! 8@ Like a Suicide” ( copies of which are now like gold dust!), in 1986 with Geffen Records. The EP consisted of 4 live tracks; these were Aerosmith’s “ Mama Kin”, Rose Tattoo’s “ Nice Boys” and two of the bands own songs “Reckless Life” & “Move to the City”. The success of their EP, prompted the bands first studio album, which was released in 1987, “Appetite for Destruction” ( yes, this is the famous one), it contained the tracks “ Sweet Child of Mine” & “Paradise City”, both of which have gone down as Classic Eighties rock tracks. For anyone reading this that may have been born in the Eighties, this is a must have album if you are building the ultimate rock collection ( I currently own four copies in various formats). Lyrically, this album is brilliant. It has a raw edge to it that proves the band doesn’t give a damn about what they, say or how they say it. Even if like my better half you think that Axl “ Squawks like a parrot” (blasphemy!!), it is well worth a listen. In 1988 the next album “ Lies” was released, this was a marriage of the “Live?!*@ like a Suicide” on side one and four brand new tracks on side two. It is probably remembered as the most controversial of all Guns n’ Roses albums. A song entitled “ One in a Million” caused a storm of protest for its Racist and Homophobic lyrics ( which Axl Rose has since apologised for). This album contains in my mind the two best G n’
; R songs ever “ Patience” & “Used to love her”. “ Patience” is a love song that has the most beautiful lyrics I have ever heard. It sends shivers down my spine every time I hear it. “ Used to Love Her” is a tongue in cheek look at Americas Weirdos “I used to love her, but I had to kill her, I knew I’d miss her, so I buried her right in my back yard”. The next two albums were released at the same time in 1991. “ Use your Illusion 1” & “Use your Illusion 2”. The press had a field day saying that the band were ripping of the fans with two albums on sale at the same time, the bands response was that they had a lot of new material and couldn’t fit it all on one album ( fair enough). “Illusion 1” contains “ Live and Let Die” a cover of the old Paul McCartney song, “November Rain “ the Epic 9 minute track, showing Axl at his piano playing best, and “Don’t Cry” a beautifully haunting song, these were the main chart releases. “ Illusion 2” contains “Knockin on Heavens door” the Bob Dylan classic, and “You could be Mine” the song featured in the film Terminator 2. Unfortunately, these albums managed to lose some of G n’ R’s fan base. Although in my mind the albums are excellent, some of the tracks are a bit fluffy. By this I mean love songs that go on a bit (“ Estranged” last for 9 ½ minutes). In 1993 Guns n’ Roses released an album called “ The Spaghetti Incident”. The album is made up of cover versions of Punk Songs, and though a brave attempt at recreating some classic songs from the likes of the Sex Pistols, I must agree with Axl when he says “ Do yourself a favour and track down the Originals”. Now for the good news! If you do not own a Guns n’ Roses album and wish to give them a try y
ou can get an overall view of the above by buying the last of the albums released. “ The best of Guns n’ Roses Live 1987 – 1993, was released in 1999, and contains all of their classic songs, coupled with the raw emotion that shows through in their live performances. The quality is a bit dodgy on the older songs, but its well worth the investment. And there you just about have it. The band has split up now, Axl still owns the name and has made a new release this year, but I’m afraid it doesn’t even warrant a mention. Guns n’ Roses were dragged from nowhere to become one of the biggest rock bands the world has ever seen, their live performance was brilliant (I saw them at Milton Keynes in 1992, and cried the whole time) (Oh great now you all think I’m either a big girlie girl, or mentally challenged). Its a shame that constant bickering in the band lead to their inevitable split, however, they have left us with a small collection of albums that will go down in rock history. The End.
The roar of the engine, the smell of the leather, the exotic locations ~ World Superbike racing is exciting stuff. I started watching it about two seasons ago ( about the same time that I started to see my motorbike mad boyfriend ~ strange coincidence, I think not!), and to begin with I was very bored. Though I decided to stick with it as the only alternative to watching with him, is leaving the room, logging on to ciao and having fun for an hour……….. “Hang on a minute….! I do not claim to know much about motorbikes, the size of the engine, make and model mean nothing to me, though I do know that they are racing actual road bikes, but this opinion is about why I watch it, so that doesn’t really matter. The important thing is that you always have to have a hero to cheer for; I believe that this is what makes any spectator sport interesting. You will soon get bored watching Turkey playing New Zealand at football but if England are involved it’s a different ball game ( sorry!) So, my bloke initially told me who was the good guy to support ( at the time it was England’s Carl Fogerty ~ also known in the racing world as “God”). Foggy has since retired and I swapped my loyalties to “ Chili”. He’s very exciting to watch, he takes chances on overtaking procedures and often ends up in a heap in the gravel pit ( I DO NOT like him because he is Italian, Tall, Dark, Handsome and has a tendency to strip down to his pants after a good race ~ Honest!!). During the season there are about 26 races at 13 locations ( I think these figures are correct), there are two races ran at each location on the same day. They visit such locations as Australia, South Africa, England, America ~ hence World Superbikes. The popularity of these events is not reflected in the coverage on T.V that they deserve ( Brands Hatch 2000 had 110,00 track side spectators – its that popu
lar – yet hardly any coverage at all). The races average around 20 laps apiece and unlike Formula One Car racing, the lead positions are constantly changing, which all in all keeps you on the edge of your seat. There are quite a few spectacular crashes involved also, usually the rider walks away unhurt which makes the crashes even more fun to watch, though the odd broken bone ( or worse can occur) and this can send you a bit cold. As an extra bit of fun myself and a few friends have a sweepstake on each race, but with an added twist, you have to double the amount of money that you have put in the pot if your rider fails to finish the race! All in all it is great fun to watch, even for a girl who knows nothing about bikes. The races are shown on Eurosport, about every two weeks, though this depends on the amount of time needed to travel to each location, and it’s well worth a look.
I only started to read this set of books recently. It was a daunting task being faced with eight books ( the ninth one has only just been released ), each three inches thick. However, I was assured by my better half, that they were well worth the read, and I haven’t been disappointed. I am new to fantasy books, I started with the obligatory “Hobbit” & “Lord of the Rings” and though I found these a good read they were hard going at times. The “Wheel of time” series has kept me gripped with it’s in depth look at characters and constant surprises. The basic storyline is of a group of youngsters from a sleepy farming village. They have rarely left the safety of the village, and are unaware of the world outside. As it turns outs, three lads from the village are very special indeed – in very loose details – only they can save the world from the clutches of the Dark One. The girls in the village are also quite special they are learning to be Aes Sedai – again in loose terms - sort of witches. We find out that they have more power than any Aes Sedai in the last few thousand years, a useful weapon to fight the Dark One with. Along the way the youngsters are fighting the Forsaken, the Dark Ones minions, and trying to stop the Dark One being released from an ancient prison, the seals of which are breaking. They have to deal with all sorts of enemies Whitecloaks (fanatics that accuse innocent people of being under the Dark Ones influence and killing them – whether they are guilty or not), Black Ajah ( Aes Sedai that secretly support the Dark One), the constant pull by various “good guys” that think their way of fighting the evil is best, and the threat of the inevitable madness that will eventually consume them. It has its light hearted moments, characters fall in love and marry, the main character is involved with three woman at on
ce, all that he claims to love – but cannot be with for fear of putting them in danger, and the loveable Giant Loial, who Is following them around, so that he can write a book on events and be confined to History. All in all whether you are a fantasy fan or not, these books truly belong on the shelf next
I recently bought my first bottle of Original source Tea Tree & Lemon Shower Gel from the Local Somerfield Store, and I can honestly say that I will never buy any other shower gel, I am hooked. The ramblings on the bottle tell of how Original Source Products are inspired by a woman from New South Wales who ran away to join the Gold Rush in 1857. She somehow became apprentice to a barber and whilst learning how to shave and pull teeth from the other prospectors, learnt the healing power of plants – this all sounds a bit dodgy to me but who knows it could be true. The first thing you notice is the bright yellow colour of the product, it’s in a clear plastic bottle, and when placed next to the Orange version on the Supermarket shelf, it really catches your eye. The bottle itself has a hook on one end, which you pull off and attach to the other end to hang it up. It also has a clever non-drip cap, so you do not have to replace the top after use, you can just leave it hanging. When you first squeeze out the bright yellow gel, the smell hits you instantly; I can only describe it as the same smell as lemon opal fruits ( sorry starburst – or what ever the hell they are now called). The scent really does make your mouth water. The consistency is nice and creamy and a little goes along way. The most surprising thing about the gel is that it leaves your skin really soft; I had been using Imperial Leather Moisturising shower gel, which didn’t leave my skin anywhere near as soft as this. The bottle does say that you can use this product on you hair as well, but I admit that I prefer to stick to my V05, so I’ve not used it for this purpose. It’s a bit pricey mind, about £2.50 for 250ml, but I don’t mind paying a bit more for something that works. A further bonus is that it is not tested on animals, if it were; it would not be in my bathroom! Original
source also only uses natural oils ( Lemon & Tea Tree ) and no synthetic fragrances, so is good for all skin types even sensitive ( though it does recommend that you test the product on a small patch of skin first). Original Source also make Shampoos, Conditioners, Bath Foam, Shave Gel, Deodorants, and facial products. I must admit that I’ve never seen any of these around, but due to the brilliant shower gel they make I will now make an effect to look for them.