MICROSOFT HAVE CASTRATED MY MOUSE ! ! (Microsoft Wheel Mouse Optical)

Member Name: dolphin_style

Product:	Microsoft Wheel Mouse Optical
Date:	06/09/01 (462 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Surpreme control, Good price, Appealing

Disadvantages: None that I can think of

Its true folks, my new mouse has got NO BALLS. Not been content with breeding “one-balled” mice, the bigwigs at Microsoft have given their new fleet, the FULL CHOP! They call their new babies “optical” mice, no, it’s not a medical term, as you will discover later.

Seen as this is a product that has opened a new era in “mice-building”, I think it’s a good time to introduce my new style of opinion – the A-to-Z. Having read a few opinions in the past, in this form, I have decided to adopt it myself. Its present the information in a clear and entertaining manner – hope you like it!

~~ A is for ~~
Aesthetics – Or if you want to get basic, the “looks” of the product. The new Microsoft “cheese-nibbler” is very appealing and looks swish even on the most fancy of desktops.
Aim – Just put your pointer where you want it, no more humping your mouse half way across your desk. The advance in control is both immediate and refreshing.
Ambidextrous – Both left and right-handed people can use this device. Although this may seem a little obvious, there are several mice on the market that only fit right hands. Seems a little strange, I know. However you can also get mice for use by only lefthanders, just so you don’t feel left out.

~~ B is for ~~
Ball – Or lack of one. Yep out with the old in with the new.
Build Quality – As you would expect from a multi-million dollar company the build quality is second to none. The mouse feels very sturdy and complete whilst nestled in the ball of your palm.

~~ C is for ~~
Curves – The elegant lines that make up the Microsoft beauty are simple and pleasing.
Cleaning – Or indeed the time you can spend doing other things as you wont have to clean it! Great for all us lazy’ens, one less thing to do for everyone else!
Comfort – That’s t
he first thing you will think when you allow you hands to caress the mouse for the first time. It’s a very moving experience. But after about 5 minutes the feeling will become normal, and you will wonder what all the fuss was about.

~~ D is for ~~
Durability – I know of a few people who have had their mice for a few months. So far they have no complaints to report. Ill keep you updated on the health situation of my rodent.

~~ E is for ~~
Extra buttons – On either side of the mouse there is one extra button. These can be programmed to do a variety of functions. From opening up your email program, to copy and pasting text. Also when the wheel is pressed, it acts as a further button.

~~ F is for ~~
Five – The number of button on the mouse. Count them with me. 2 of your standard buttons, plus 2 extra side buttons, plus your wheel button. All together a very customisable set-up.
Fluff – You won’t be getting any of this anymore. No more taking that ball out for a clean. No more loss of control due to “fluffed-up” roller. Enjoy your newfound fluff free life.

~~ G is for ~~
Glass – The only surface that the muse won’t work on. It’s due to there been refraction in the light as it hits the particles on the glass surface. Also some of the signals sent out bye the “Intellieye” simply pass through and out of the other sides. The again, putting things in to perspective, its not too much of a loss, considering I don’t know that many people who would actually like to use it on a clear glass surface! One for the perfectionists amongst us I think.

~~ H is for ~~
Help – Need some help setting up you mouse? Or info on any other Microsoft product? Go to: www.microsoft.com, and click on the “products” tab.

~~ I is for ~~
“Intellieye” – This is what Microsoft calls its newfound technol
ogy. It can be found in a few mice across the range. Professors began developing it back in 1997, and was released to the public in mid 2000.
Installation- The process of getting your CPU to realise that you have got a brand spanking new mouse. This process is both easy and swift. You should have you mouse up and running, well gliding, within minutes.
“Intellipoint” – The name of the installation software.

~~ J is for ~~
Judder – What your old mouse used to do constantly. You will now be judder free. To tell you the truth I was stumped on “J”. Oh well, I squeezed something out.

~~ K is for ~~
Kinetic – Energy you assert on the little creature when moving it about. Yes, “K” was a tough one!

~~ L is for ~~
Light – Sitting in a dark room, the cool red glow from under your new purchase can’t fail in been noticed. The warm glow is somewhat soothing, or maybe I am getting a little carried way now! Either way, it’s definitely a cool add-on, and something I would compliment Microsoft on adding.

~~ M is for ~~
Moving parts – No moving parts can be found inside the little critter. Well except all those lil’electrons whizzing along to tell your computer where you want to go. As there are no moving parts you can expect a longer, pleasanter life out of your new input device.
Macintosh – Yes you can even use the mouse on a computer using Microsoft’s rival operating system. Great if you want to replace that annoying Imac mouse. (Sorry a little pet-hate slipping through there)
Microsoft – The company responsible for this wonderful creation. All hail Billy Gates. Or at least his employee who designed it.

~~ N is for ~~
No hope – That’s what every other mouse in this town has got. As my wise mother would say, they have got “A cat in hells chance”.

~~ O is for ~~
Opt
ical – The word that is connected with this new technology. Like eyes on the under side of your mouse.

~~ P is for ~~
PC – It’s also “PC” compatible. Well, it would be a bit useless if not.
Ports – You can either plug your new mouse into the USB port, this is found on most of the newer computers. However if you haven’t got this option, use the included adapter to plug it in to your PS2 port, more communal known as the standard mouse port.
Precision – You point, it goes. Simple as that. No ifs, no but’s.
Price – The current market price for the Microsoft Wheel Mouse Optical is £24.99 (RRP). However the following deals can be had: Amazon - £18. PC World - £23. Special Reserve - £20. Shop around and I bet you can find a better deal.

~~ Q is for ~~
Quick – The relative speed at which your pointer will travel. If you desire of course. Well can you think of anything better for “Q”!

~~ R is for ~~
Red – Hmmm, the red light is always there, shining from the under-belly, reminding you that this is no ordinary mouse.
Rollers – Present on the old type mouse. Redundant on the all new improved type.

~~ S is for ~~
Surfaces – The hundred of them that you may use your mouse on. From your plain old desk top, to your plain, old or young (depends on your age of course), thigh. Basically any surface that is non-reflective.
Scrolling – That’s what you can do with the wheel; scroll your way around your favourite web page. It saves having to click and drag the scroll bar on the page. A brilliant timesaving function that can be used in the following applications: Internet Explorer, Word, and I guess and other program where you would use an “embedded” scroll bar.
Sensor – The thing that is doing all of the hard work! You have this to thank for your newfound bliss.

~~ T is
for ~~
Tracking – This is how the new technology works. By taking an incredible 1,500 images a second and comparing them. It “tracks” your position and adjusts the cursor accordingly.

~~ U is for ~~
Universal size – The overall feel of the mouse is controlled and “correct” in a variety of hand sizes. For myself with larger hands its feels very nice. And people I have spoken to, say even young children get on with it pretty well.

~~ V is for ~~
Versatility – Anybody, any surface, any computer, anywhere. What more could you want!

~~ W is for ~~
Wheel – Located in the centre of the two standard buttons, the wheel is in the perfect position for you middle finger to glide along. Use the wheel for both “scrolling” and “zooming”. Press it down and you have a fifth button, which can also be programmed to do a number of functions.
White – That’s the colour of the mouse. Nice at first, however without proper care you will be left with grubby finger marks all over it.
Windows – Its compatible with windows 98 or above, although my mate did have a problem with installation on “Windows NT”, but got it sorted in the long run.

~~ X is for ~~
X-Box- Come on give me a break! X-Box is the upcoming games console also made by Microsoft. At least it’s remotely relative!

~~ Y is for ~~
You! – The person who will be chuffed to bits with your newfound joy. Trust me you will not be disappointed.

~~ Z is for ~~
Zooming – Works in the same was as the scrolling function, however this makes you zoom, funnily enough. Only works on designated programs, only one I have found so far is my CAD program. Very nifty when you can find somewhere to use it.


There you go, please tell me if you like my new style of opinion.

James

Summary: