The Nukester! (Hinari MX310S)

Member Name: triplecthegame

Product:	Hinari MX310S
Date:	21/10/01 (462 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: It nukes a lot

Disadvantages: none as far as I'm concerned

I've been stitched up you know, I'm not a whizz in the kitchen, in fact it takes me all my time to make a sandwich and even then the kitchens in a mess, but along with a few other members of dooyoo I've been challenged to write about a Kitchen appliance, and what with me never backing down from a challenge I set to the kitchen to find something to write an opinion on, I considered finding a spoon and writing about that, but dooyoo hasn't got a category for that so we carried on looking, then there was that little black box in the corner that I drunkenly throw a box of micro-chips in at 2am whenever I've been out, I think they call it a microwave, it seemed a possibility that I might be able to make some sense talking about it so we now have one review of a kitchen appliance - my Hinari Lifestyle Microwave.

Be warned this one isn't going to be easy - at the end of the day, its a box it nukes my food and thats about it, but we shall attempt to elaborate, it was about 3 years ago that our last monstrosity went to the great electrical store in the sky, now that was a disaster believe me but we had to get on with our lives and (sob) find a replacement, thats when we went into our local branch of Currys - big mistake, do I want a white micro, a black one, one that can defrost and of course my answer was....... guh?!? I want one that will nuke food thats it, after much haggling I ended up parting with £49.99 for my Hinari, I'd never heard of them before but it looked like it might work so I gave it a try.

Taking it home, mum (who really should have come with me on the search) insisted that I tested it out, so one plug gets chucked in the wall and all of a sudden we had an LED clock flashing 00:00 - nice touch I thought but I don't want to know the time, I want to nuke my microchips, so one press of the button marked Open (Hey I'm getting good at this cooking lark) and the microwave-door came swinging out and banged in
to my arm, that hurt a bit but I threw my microchips in and decided that it might be handy if I read the actual manual to see what I should be doing next, but instead of doing that I just dived in and hit the time buttons, 2 - 0 - 0, that should give my 2 minutes nuking time right? wrong - that gave 20 minutes, luckily there is a button to stop anything you're nuking by mistake, so maybe I better get that manual out after all, ahhhhhhh look I had to hit 0 - 2 - 0 - 0 whose idea was that then, pretty dumb in my ever so humble opinion I thought but still back to nuking my chips in the box went, I pressed the correct buttons and proceeded to hear the fans go and watch my next meal do a twirl in the oven, the 2 minutes were nearly up, and I sat expecting my favourite 'ping!' sound instead a sound not too dissimilar to a claxon sounded instead, my chips were almost ready to eat (with microchips neading a double nuking we went through the same process again).

Anyhow once done I grabbed the box and jeeeeeeeez was that hot in fact my fingers were bright red from holding the box - this microwave nukes em good I thought to myself deciding to look into a couple of the features my new machine has, so finally with some piping hot chips I eventually sat down to read the manual, suddenly I realised I'd been wasting my ever-so-valuable study time by fighting the timer as theres a 'quick' button for those often-used settings needed for the high-flying snacker that I am, all I had to do was hit this button 4 times and my chips would be nuked - this is absolutely perfect for people like myself who stumble in at 2 am hungry because the only thing your non-vegetarian mates had the ability to buy in was a kebab.

Now ask anyone who knows me and they'll say that I'm too lazy to set timers on my electrical goods, in fact some people even think I've got a wierd fascination with seeing 00:00 flashing in an LED display as I just don't
usually bother - but flicking through the manual I was inspired to actually set the clock for the first time ever as there was a nifty little shufty you can do with the buttons that will let you set the microwave to nuke something for you at a pre-set time, brilliant when you don't want to shell out for that visit to pizza hut after seeing a movie but your friends are still hungry, since reading this book (not the most literate of books - only gets 2 stars if you ask me) I've found that I've used this feature countless times and it never fails to nuke that grub spot on time for my home-coming!

Now then do you have children?, do they keep threatening to Nuke that sweater granny knitted for them?, have no fear Hinari is here!, another handy little feature is a child-proof code you can tap in so no illegal nuking is going on, luckily I'm old enough to know better so surprisingly up to now I haven't had any need to use this feature, but for the purpose of this opinion I did try it out, sadly the Aberdeen football shirt grandma bought me for my 21st birthday didn't get nuked, and I was going to blame it on the dog as well.

Now here was something I didn't understand at all on one of the pages - Power Settings, had to ask mumsie dearest on that one and she assured me that different foods need different settings for getting nuked, so for those of you who are bothered by things like that I give you the power settings - apparently we can set it from a choice of 10 settings between 80 and 800 watts, any idea what that means?, yes?, good - that means I helped!!

The final feature I've seen that means anything to me at all is the defrost buitton, it does exactly what it says on the button - yep it Defrosts food for you, handy when you want to nuke a pizza you've had in the freezer for ages that looks mysteriously like John Prescott - just chuck your grub in the oven and hit the defrost button and your foods ready
to be nuked.

There you go, my review of a kitchen appliance - especially for the member who really must love me that much, can I go back to reviewing websites, movies and tv shows again now pleeeeeeeeeeeease?

Yours Tripley - The Dumbwit of the Kitchen

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