Artem's nightmare (Nokia 3310)

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Product:	Nokia 3310
Date:	27/06/01 (9 review reads)
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Advantages: Good looking....make that EVERYTHING (apart from - see below), free if you find the right place.

Disadvantages: Not as small as 8210 for example

I used to have a 3210 but then a reindeer attacked me and nicked it, leaving me phoneless and face down in Bodmin highstreet. "Please come back", I whimpered. It was no good though. The evil deer didn't even turn to face me as he continued trotting north. I never saw him again.

A new beginning was called for. It was that same night that I had a dream (a pretty damn sad one!!).

<< Clouds enter left (drifting in slowly) (white fluffy ones) >>
<< Clouds enter right (as above) >>
<< Nokia 3310 slowly drifts towards me. At first it’s a dot in the distance, then it gets real BIG and smacks me between the eyes!! >>

I can see a reindeer coming too. "AAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!"
<< I grab the phone (now right in front of me) and run away >>

Finding shelter under a disused snail shell (weird things happen in dreams), I start checkin' out a few of its features. "Blimey", I thought. If I can find one of these good looking, perfectly shape and sized little beauts when I wake up, I might just get one!!

Its similarities with the 3210 are quite obvious (look at the picture!!). The top half in fact << memories of my 3210 come flooding back >> seems to be of the same mould (nearly). This phone is shorter (thanks to a smaller battery) and more curved, yet its width remains nearly the same. Its just the right size to hold comfortably whilst playing with it or making calls (unlike the 8210). The screen is the same size exactly (which is brilliant!! Because I don't really like small screens). The buttons are also easier to press than I'd imagined (Oh wait…I am imagining it!!). Its width means that the buttons are nearly as big as the 3210, but more rounded and smooth looking (which suits the rest of the phone). The only thing that isn't perfect is the slope on the arrow keys. The way they're set in to the cover makes them a little harder
to press than the others.

The loud reindeer snorts coming from outside cause my worry levels to reach extremely high levels (near squit fear!!). A text message to the deer exterminators will do the trick!! Lucky there's a decent light so I can see what I'm doing. By-passing the PHONE BOOK (back to that later), I reach menu no.2. MESSAGES. The order is slightly different to that of the 3210. I mean, 'Inbox', 'Outbox' and 'Write Message' are all in a different order, but run in the same way. I just got a bit confused to start with.

So I started writing. The predictive writing thing came in very handy (its ok once you've got the hang of it).

"Please help!!! I'm gonna get got!! Snail shell by hedge. Artem"

I could have changed quickly between that and the normal ways of writing (# key - as with 3210) if I'd wanted to make full use (e.g. "C U 2MORO") of the 160 available characters, but here I felt no need. It differs slightly from the 3210 when writing longer messages. Instead of just limiting you to 160 on one screen, you can write messages up to 459 characters (3 messages worth) all in one go. When sent, those are then split in to their separate 160 character parts (although I know 3 times 160 doesn't actually = 459). So it can all be done in one easy writing sesh.

In addition to my plea, I could have added one of the 13 different picture messages. While I sat trembling with fear, I noticed that 2 are the same, but they look like a great improvement (not that I ever sent any - at 3 times the cost) on my stolen 3210. Here are a few useless bits too like the SMILEYS (pre-formed smiley faces that you can add your text to) and the TEMPLATES (i.e. "Phone me at…") that I never ever use.

This time round (3210 was the last) it looks like I can store 15 messages instead of just 10. << A smile crosses my face >> 10 never seemed e
nough sometimes. Being able to read 4 lines of each message at a time was also another thing that made it this phone that entered my dream instead of any other (like the Ericsson T20 that I was also thinking about - 2 lines only)

Skipping back to the PHONE BOOK, it all seems much the same as the 3210. There is the addition of one little thing (voice tags), and the changing of name for another (b' cards - where you can forward a name and number to someone).

The VOICE TAGS I haven't yet used…<< instruction book floats down from the clouds and lands in my lap >> but the instructions given on how to use them are very clear. You can speak to the phone and it'll dial the person's number without you pressing any buttons. Interesting!! If I wasn't in a position where I would be facing certain death at the most silent of sounds - attracting old deerfaces attention - I'd give it a go. An unborn baby though could use the rest. Its sooo simple!!! If you have the time and know that many people, you could store up to 200 names and numbers on it.

Flicking back down again << Damn those exterminators!! Never around when you need em'!! >> there's a CHAT feature. Its reasons for being there are apparently to allow a kind of instant message thing between 3310 owners. To me though (after texting SkinnyWinny and telling him how much he smells) it sees exactly the same as a normal text message, just with your name (that you type in before starting your 'chatting') at the top. Useless!! It doesn't put the phone down in any way though really.

CALL REGISTER has been improved upon from the 3210. There is now the feature that allows you to check the cost of your last call. I think that’s for 'pay as you go' people though. It never seems to work on mine. Along with it you've got all the interesting yet mostly unimportant little bits like the 'lists of people you've cal
led' etc. etc. Much better that’s its there than not though.

As for TONES, this phone in my dreams only has 35 at the moment. There are 7 spaces to add extra ones though. These could either be composed by your own fair hand or downloaded from some place like Boltblue. I really don't care much for fancy ring tones but its good to 'av' em' I spose. No matter how good YOU think they are, there'll always be people who give you the EVIL eye!! They're not too bad on the 3310 though. Some are the same as the 3210 but others are new.

As I sit huddled in the damp surroundings of my shell, I hit on an idea. I'll play a game (but turn the annoying sound off)!!! My only major horrible thought about the phone now came to me. Scrolling through the choice of 4 (Snake II, Space Impact, Bantumi and Pairs II). I start on Snake. << Finger covers button to click NEW GAME >> "YOU TOTAL B*STARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The light flicks off and I'm left unable to play in the darkness of my shell. Why oh why have Nokia programmed it so that the light turns off while you're playing a game???? In situations like this, I might want to play BUT I CAN'T!!! It won't work on any game. Blo*dy thing!!

******* May 1st: Having now exited my shell and read a few comments, I can't believe I was so stupid to not see that there is an option concerning the light is the SETTINGS part. I can now play in the dark :) *******

<< I sit there bored >>

On the whole though, the games are a big improvement from the 3210.

Snake II is a whole lot more complicated. With the addition of MAZES which you have to navigate round (whilst still doin' the normal thing of eating those thingies) the difficulty settings can be very varied to suit you. You have a choice of 5 mazes (varying hardness) or No maze, and then the usual 9 difficulty settings (levels). Your score is also shown throughout th
e game so it's easy to keep track.

The other 3 don't have quite the same addiction levels but they're still ok to play on the odd occasion (when you can see em').

Nokia have also added a REMINDER feature to the 3310. You can program in dates and times and then when the you get to them, an alarm will sound. It's very simple and works extremely well.

On the surface, the CLOCK looks very simple. It is!! But this time they've added a stopwatch and a countdown timer to the menu. Very good (not that I'll use them - although if the occasion did arise then I'd definitely chose to use the phone over my watch. Its very simple!!).

Screen saver on a phone??? Totally pointless little bit really but they are there.

Number 12 on the menu list is PROFILES. "What the flip is that??" I thought as I continued to sit in hiding waiting for the blokeys to arrive. "Oh I see!" It’s basically an easy way of changing the ring type depending on your position. i.e. make it LOUD or discreet or silen….. With each one, instead of just coming up with the words (i.e. LOUD) on the screen, a picture of a very round-headed person comes up on the screen to describe the setting. You'll just have to see for yourself.

My dream neared its final few moments as 2 racoons with paintball guns jumped out from behind a tree. With a stamping of hooves and an explosion of 'SPLATS' (slatsplatsplatsplatsplatsplat!!!), I had been saved………
……and then I woke up.

So the next day I went out (stayed in actually) and got one.

I am now just as impressed in real life as I was in non-real life. The lack of an external aerial makes no difference to the quality of call reception, and the fact that it just isn't there means that I'll never do anything silly that would have broken one off.

Additional covers are obviously ava
ilable to go with it but some of them are stupidly expensive. I've just kept on the boring dark bluey / grey one. Having tried on a few of the other free ones that I got with it though, I have had a few troubles changing them over. Putting them on is really easy. Much better than the 3210. Taking them off though, I had one time when I just couldn't budge it and had to use a 5p to pull the damn thing up and then I had to force it forwards. Can't wait till they invent an easier way of doing it!!

It requires a 16 to 20 hour initial charge and after that it normally only takes a couple of hours to reach full capacity. Once there, depending on how much it gets used, it can last for nearly a week. And they reckon you'll get about 4 hours talk time. If you ever wanna turn it off, the on/off button this time is much longer and looks better, but only one end works anyway so its mostly just to keep the phone looking fancy. If you don't want to turn it off, but just don't want to hear it ringing, why not set it to VIBRATE (YIPPEE!!!! - something the 3210 was really missing)?!

The accessories accompanying it are all quite standard. I got my phone for FREE from Dial-a-phone. It also came with FREE hands-free, in car charger etc. etc. There's a wide range of other extras available too (if you've got the money).

It’s a very robust little dual-band (France, France here I come!!!) phone, which is certainly a little bit lighter than the 3210. I'm just hoping that it'll last me a long time. This is the best looking phone ever!! (everyone said that about the 3210 to start with) So what *will* they come up with next???

THE END.....sweet dreams!!

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