Yawn......... (Alien vs Predator (DVD))

Member Name: JayHall1991

Product:	Alien vs Predator (DVD)
Date:	11/05/06 (82 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Good Ending, Some Decent Acting

Disadvantages: Lazy, Boring, Unscary, Badly Made

When a satellite (measuring heat particles on earth or something in that vain) orbiting space discovers a huge pyramid buried deep under the Antarctic ice which is believed to be the first ever built a state of amazement worry and hysteria envelopes the space wardens, what could this be? Who built it? And how did they develop such a strong and technologically advanced structure all those years ago? Seeing this as an opportunity to do something important before his imminent death billionaire Charles Weyland assembles a crack team of explorers, scientists, historians and body guards to unravel the history of the grand building. When they get to their destination though they discover a huge tunnel drilled into the ground leading straight into the ancient pyramid instantly suspecting another team of landing on the site first they dive straight in, but wait isn't that a shiny metal monster lurking in the background?

Millions of years ago Predators were worshipped as gods by us mere mortals, they taught us the skills to build great strong pyramids and we sacrificed ourselves in return. The 'Almighty Gods' eager to prove their immense supremacy used humans to breed deadly Aliens (evil slimy serpents creatures) so they could hunt them for sport, but one day everything went severely wrong and Aliens overthrew the huge metal robots. Never to be beaten they decided to blow everything up rather than being beaten….. These two worlds are about to collide as Aliens, Predators and humans fight for survival in a bloodthirsty match of minds muscle and acid blood!

Alien Vs Predator doesn't work as a horror, a thriller or even a film. It's not scary, thrilling or remotely interesting whatsoever. It has to be one of the most boring movies I have seen in my entire life and is instantly forgettable. The biggest travesty that the crew has done is making the two mega monsters into silly profoundly dumb freaks who are most certainly not scary and just plain pathetic. The Predators are absolutely ridiculous, they are just metal babies who look stupid and really don't work as villains as the script is so confused instantly switching them from good guys to bad ones. The Aliens do not suffer the half hazard butchery of their mortal enemy's origins quite so much, but they don't have the same terrifying aura about them that was so perfectly established in the original four flicks and there is no attempt to make them interesting whatsoever.

I know that every fan will be exclaiming something along the lines of 'he was expecting too much' or 'you took it too seriously' but I really didn't. A fun, jumpy dumb film would have passed by me just fine but instead I was greeted with a supremely boring dumb film that takes ITSELF far too seriously for its own good. As you can tell I am not a fan of this stupid excuse of a film mainly that comes down to the writers writing the bare minimum. There is no characterization whatsoever, the origin of the monsters momentous battle is confused and really doesn't shed any light on the story and the structure of the film is flimsy hardly holding the production up. I rarely hear dialogue that truly makes me cringe but the ridiculous attempts at making us feel sorry for the players (one man talks incessantly about his little children and not having the luxury of giving up on them) are just obvious contrived and horrendously unsuccessful. The action is allowed to be kept high paced which is courtesy of the screenplay, but that's is the only good point I can find.

On a whole the acting was fairly okay, but hardly anyone stood out and made me care for their character, apart from Sanaa Lathan who handled the increasingly silly dialogue with confidence and allowed all the aspects of her limited character to shine through. Holding the film together well she kept me watching and by the end she was the only person I wanted to live as she was strong, intelligent and courageous.

Paul W.S Anderson directs Alien Vs Predator extremely lazily, he doesn't imprint any visual flair particularly (although the production values are good) and there is little to no tension in the whole film. Half of the time the whole movie loses direction and becomes more of a love story that anything else. Anderson really doesn't manage to keep the pace up and allows the whole thing to become a tad boring. He does manage to stage the fight scenes well (even if they are over in a flash) and make them look very convincing though.

Like I have said before the production values are glossy and convincing which does let the movie at least look very good. All of the set pieces are extraordinarily grand and both the monsters look realistic even if they look silly. The huge pyramid that is the backdrop for most of the film offers lots of ingenious traps and an overall scary atmosphere. As the queen alien tries to escape from her chains the camera angles realty help advance the scenes with close ups and long sweeping camera motions which allow the audience to see the whole thing which makes the horrific creature look even more scary.

A major problem I had with this film was that I just couldn't like the Predators even though they were supposed to be good. They had happily massacred nearly all the crew and then suddenly decide that they want to help the leading lady! It seemed ridiculous to me so I didn't feel that they as heroes or villains.

The cliff hanger ending was actually quite good and saved the film from being dreadful, the anti climactic (and obligatory) chase scene under whelmed as too much CGI stopped us from really getting engaged in the action, but it did generate some excitement. A sequel is obviously going to come around and the big twist at the end of this one stands it in good sted.

Overall I wasn't overly impressed with Alien Vs Predator, I thought that it was lazily plotted, largely badly acted and undermined both the Aliens and Predators roots, but the production values were impressive and the end was good.

Summary: A Lazy, Silly Horror