For movie fans, Uwe Boll is a modern Ed Wood, only without the charm. His name is legendary amongst movie buffs for being the worse filmmaker on the planet right now, and some of his films must qualify as serious contenders for the worst film of all time. Knowing his reputation, I wanted to rent one of his movies so I could see exactly how mindnumbing the awfulness on display would be. Alone in the Dark is an unbelieveably, extraordinarily, inexpressibly bad film. The "plot" (if it deserves such a name) is based around a group of teens who turn up on a deserted desert island for a very naughty rave (as you do). However, when they arrive there, ...  Read the complete review

Most of the people who have reviewed 'Alone In The Dark' have done some sort of play on words to make good use of a literary and relevant way of explaining just how bad this film is. To be honest, the film is that bad, I really can't be bothered to waste my time finding a play on words. Oh, hang on: how about: 'Watch this alone in the dark so no else knows you've seen it and takes the proverbial out of you for doing so!' Ooh, ooh, I've got another one: 'This film makes me want to sit alone in the dark and cry because I've just wasted an hour of my time!' Similarly, you could use: 'Alone In The Dark is a pile of crap!' Yes, you've guessed it. I didn't ...  Read the complete review

Another Uwe Boll video game adaptation, Alone In The Dark - or, The Relic, as it would no doubt be known if The Relic hadn't had the audacity to show up first - is, much like any Boll picture you care to mention, an hour and a half tug of war between vast stretches of almost unbearable tedium and short bursts of truly insane, inconsistent, confusing, illogical digi-action that often feel like sequences too poorly to perform in other, better action pictures, sequences that have come crawling to Boll's feet to die. The opening chase business, for example, wherein Christian Slater in a taxi is chased by Someone Else for a time before the pair of them bound out ...  Read the complete review

Shlock maestro has made some terrible films in the past, such as House of the Dead, Bloodrayne, and Far Cry. Alone in the Dark, however, is something else - an unfunny, self-serious film (adapted from the popular video game series) that doesn't even have the cheesy fun that particularly House of the Dead did - this is a murky, terribly directed film that makes veritable mince meat out of lead Christian Slater. What's noticeable to fans of the games is that the tone has been vastly changed - although the Edward Carnby character is back (played by Slater), he's embroiled in a plot that's more about ruins and disinteresting ancient artefacts than the somewhat ...  Read the complete review

Disclaimer: As with all my movie reviews, this is about the film itself rather than the DVD. I generally don't watch extra features or deleted scenes as they are usually removed for a reason and detract from the film as it was intended. Genre: Horror Year: 2005 Key Stars: Christian Slater, Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff Notes: N/A Overview: Alone in the Dark is a 2005 horror movie adaptation of the game of the same name. It is a directed by Uwe Boll a notoriously bad film director responsible for a lot of video game to movie conversions. Pros: None that I can think of. The only redeeming factor for this film is the ...  Read the complete review