Turning the Lights off wont make any differnce. (Alone In The Dark (DVD))

Member Name: chloe5974

Product:	Alone In The Dark (DVD)
Date:	23/10/05 (91 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: erm...good time filler if you are bored?!

Disadvantages: Bad effects, bad plot, bad characters.....the list is endless!

"WARNING CONTAINS STRONG VIOLENCE"

What that actually means is " WARNING WILL BORE YOU SENSELESS".
I am very much a chick-flick girl, and I do like the odd action film, but this is not my sort of film at all. My boyfriend talked me into renting it out as we had planned a night in. It looked like the sort of film we could curl up to, and I suspect he was looking forward to acting all strong and protcetive while I hid behind a cushion declaring I would never sleep again. This was not the case.

As I settled down to my ice cream, surrounded by a big duvet and my 'big strong man' I was prepared for fear. The front cover shows a rib cage, claws and sharp teeth-all in one, and is very much the image of a horror film. With:
"Rousing Fight Scenes And Nonstop Action." (Fangoria Magazine) plastered along the bottom, and the warning for 'Bloody Violence', I was expecting my eyes to practically fall out of my head.

Christian Slater stars, along with Tara Reid. Now I like Christian Slater as much as the next girl, but lets face it his last few films havent exactly been much to shout home about. This, is no exception. Slater stars as Edward Carnby, a private investigator specialising in unexplainable supernatural phenomena. He returns for a long trip with a artifact of some sort, and visits his ex girlfriend (que Tara Reid) who thought he was dead. Que "Oh Edward" and a hug and slap around the face. Corny.....
Anyway, within 2 scenes we have the mandatory sex scene. Did I miss something are love scenes supposed to have a little chemistry?! This lacked it so much it was very uncomfortable.
As the film progresses, and 'the fight to reach light' after a cave in continues, we see even more of the aliens or whatever they are. They look like a mix between the ones in preditor to be honest, but really awful computer generated ones at that. They are so unrealistic, I didn't need to reach for the loyal cushion once. In fact, I never even put my hand on it, just incase I needed to pull it infront of my face quick!

Obviously, we have the expected explosions, death of the mother figure, and lots of blood and gore. However, I must add that the first sight of blood lead me to believe it was red paint, that is just how unrealistic the whole thing looked.
All in all, there were only two gruesome parts. One in which a security guard is killed by the 'things' and has one of their spikes stuck through his face, and one in which a womans head is cut in half to her mouth. Oh, she still manages to look at her partner though....

(I have deleted this paragraph seeing as several people had a go at me about it)

I would NOT recommend this film, I am a typical girlie, and am not a lover of scary horror films, but this can not be classed as that. If I was un-phazed by this film, you will be too. The creatures are as unrealistic as the plot, and my final comment to my boyfriend just about sums up the whole film:
It has the plot of a low budget film, the sort with un-known, un-trained actors playing the leads, only with semi-respectable actors in the roles. Still awful though. And not worth the money to rent, let alone buy. Could someone please tell Slater, that films like this are the reason his career is now as bad as it is!

Summary: Don't waste the time or money.