Anaconda (DVD)

OK. Here's the review when I finally, irretrievably lose any respect I ever had on Dooyoo. You know those films that are so unbelievably bad that they actually become fun in a ridiculously stupid kind of way? Do you like them? If so, Anaconda is a rare treat for you. A film so bad it should have its own special category at the Oscars: the Anaconda Award for Extraordinary Badness. There's no evidence that anyone involved in this huge pile of tripe thought that they were making a deliberately bad, tongue in cheek nod to dodgy creature features of old. You honestly get the impression that they really intended to make a standard actioner, but ended up ...  Read the complete review

suppose you would have to say that a movie like Anaconda didn't really have that much chance of being too much of a success. A rather large man-eating snake isn't exactly the most fearsome of movie monsters and it would no doubt have taken a director and cast of some talent to make it even come close to working. Anaconda doesn't have these and as a result it does exactly what I feared it would...it sucks, and it sucks big time. The plot...well what there is of it. Hollywood seems intent on treating the fans of action movies like idiots and this plot is yet another example of that. Anaconda features a film crew making a documentary in the Amazon ...  Read the complete review

Jon Voight's hilarious performance of the Ahab-like poacher determined to capture a giant snake. I now see the movie in a completely different light. Everyone in the movie is awful! Voight's accent is a Brazilian/Cajun mess (I swear it changes from scene to scene!), Jennifer Lopez looks clueless, Ice Cube just grimaces the whole time and gives everyone dirty looks and Eric Stolz is just along for a paycheck.The effects and movement of the snake are teriffic but the story goes nowhere and the ending is obvious. If you like Drama that is obvious to figure out go ahead if you like watching a movie more than once in a day go ahead and watch it maybe even buy it but ...  Read the complete review

There are Apex of things in this world, the tallest is Himalayas, widest are the oceans and the biggest is the Niagara Falls. The best written words are which create images in the mind for the things read. The film Anaconda had its glory in special effects and computer animations, the visuals are moving and effective, they easily stick in the mind, the lighting was superb, the great outdoor locations were green and relaxing to look at, exotic superb acting by Jon Voight(Paul Sarone) and the praise stops here only. The beautiful object to watch in this film was Anaconda the big snake, its a creepy, slimy and hissy thing which could never sprout in me ...  Read the complete review

The movie stars Eric Stoltz for 10 minutes, as the anthropotgist in search of the elusive anaconda worshiping Shirishama tribe. Goin with him on his little quest is Jennifer Lopez as the director of the movie Stoltz is making, and Ice Cube as the cinematographer. As they sail through the Amazon river they meet a stranded snake hunter who the pick up and he promises the way to the tribe they are looking for Voight, instead, has his own deadly plan and it sure isn't going to go down well with the others. This movie is crap in one of it's many forms. Pointless, unbeliveable and totally dumb. They try SO HARD to make a beliveable movie, but with ...  Read the complete review