If thine eye offends thee..... (Angel Eyes (DVD))

Member Name: Beggar James

Product:	Angel Eyes (DVD)
Date:	09/11/01 (34 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: NONE, although it may be a useful sleeping aid, or a guide on how to make a terrible film

Disadvantages: Where to start ?

This is one of the worst films I have seen. Coming from me, who has happily sat through mountains of rotten wastes of celluloid, that's a strong statement. This is the worst type of film making, cynically cashing in on a star without any visible effort or attempt to entertain. Did the studio really think they had a winner on their hands with this? did they read the script? Did they actually watch the dailies and think 'Yeah ! This is looking good !' ? This is not a film, it is a product, and a desperately dull, shoddy one at that. Even as I write this opinion, my hands are shaking with rage.....

The plot concerns Lopez as a cop, who is haunted by her past. Caviezel is a mysterious guy who lives in an empty apartment and wanders round doing good deeds for people. He also claims to be Lopez' guardian angel. They save each others lives, and enter into a complicated relationship dance which sees them both confront their personal demons and come to terms with their lives. Will they end up together? Does Caviezel have a sinister secret ? Watch the film and find out. Or don't.

Really: DON'T.

It's hard to know where to start reviewing a film as bad and pointless as this. So i'll start with the plot. What plot? This film basically wants to be a character study / romance about two emotionally bruised people who have the potential to be each others' salvation. Unfortunately, it moves so slowly, and presents us with such a dull series of events that you'll be asleep long before the less than thrilling 'climax'. The soap-opera style script is packed with made for tv movie cliches, stupefyingly unoriginal developments, and insultingly stereotypical supporting characters. In short, THIS FILM IS BORING BEYOND ALL BELIEF.

So how's the acting? Terrible. Now I'm not sure whether or not to blame this on Lopez and Caviezel, as they blatantly have nothing to work with. Lopez has still to prove h
erself in a film: she worked well as a supporting actress in 'Money Train' and was adequate in 'The Cell' as eye candy, but here she completely fails to grab our attention. I just did not care about her character in the slightest. However, if Lopez is bad in this film, then Caviezel is the devil himself. His acting consists purely of staring either soulfully or mournfully at Lopez. I think he is trying to emote, but unfortunately he just looks stoned. I honestly, truthfully wanted him to die every second he was on the screen.

Another thing which really annoyed me about this film was the way its shot. Its like all dreamy and soft focus, like some bad fantasy porno shoot. Which is kind of appropriate, as this is basically soft-core emotional pornography. I guess the director was going for a sense of mystery and fate, but he falls woefully short. Honestly, I felt like I was on valium whilst watching this nightmarish flick.

To conclude, this is a terrible, dire, awful film which actually makes me mad that I watched it. By all means, feel free to check it out, but unless you have no brain, then you will be annoyed, frustrated and will feel incredibly cheated.

I am considering sueing the film studio who released this to demand the 2 hours of my life back.

Summary: