| Product: |
Blade II (DVD) |
| Date: |
18/04/02 (17 review reads) |
| Rating: |
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Advantages: So, so, many, but mainly the unparalleled violence and gore
Disadvantages: If 'Riding in Cars with Boys', or 'Stepom' are your preferred choice of film, this might not be for you
Man, don't you just know that a film is brilliant when you come out wanting to kick the living CRAP out of somebody. It is a sign of a great film when it is able to disengage that part of your brain that has been brutally distorted by morality, law and education and told you that violence is a bad thing. Now, you go and see Blade II and tell me that violence is a bad thing. I guarantee that if you are male, you will come out of the cinema wanting to lacerate someone's f#?king face off...it really is that good.
I'll admit that I had very high hopes for this film. I don't ever remember liking the original Blade that much at the time, but repeated viewings at approximately 1.00 a.m. after a night out drinking, has taught me that it is a very, very efective action movie that literally requires absolutely no brain power to watch. Which is a good thing by the way. So...the sequel had to better, right...like, twice as gory, and twice as violent, and worse acting, and less of a storyline. I tell you now dear friend, I did not leave Harrow Warner Brothers complex that sunny Friday disappointed.
Here's a rough gist of the story, not that it's anyway important. Blade (Wesley Snipes) is half human half vampire, which means that he is hard like a vampire but has none of their cissy gothic weaknesses like aversion to daylight, silver and Italian food. The thing that our friend Blade likes better than anything in the whole wide world is to KILL and KILL and KILL, vampires (not quite sure why, but its not important). However, when a new breed of vampire hits town which can simultaneously suck the blood of humans and vampires, he is deeply peturbed at the thought of these evil creatures taking over the world. So perturbed in fact, that he even agrees to help out the vampires in tracking down this new breed of vampires' leader and mercilessly pulling its instentines out of its eyes.
Here's the best bit though...Do you know w
ho the really, ultra-hard, ultra-scary, scaly and damright evil big bad guy is played by...? Luke Goss. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...yes, that Luke Goss, who used to be in Bros and sung 'When will I be Famous'. He's quite good actually, even if all he has to do is eat people. Well, there's a few twists and turns and stuff, but the main point of the film, is that Wesley Snipes, gets to say very little and hack people into diced stir-fry. Do not mistake me, this is probably one of the most violent films that I have ever born witness to. And let's remember, I credit myself with finding the only film in the whole of Blockbuster video that has "Violence: Extreme, frequent, gory", rather than merely "Violence: strong, frequent" as most other wimpy films have. Blade II deserves that oh so hard to achieve "Violence: Extreme, frequent, gory" tag, and I salute it for its effort.
There is this simply genius scene in this film, where our dear, mild-mannered protagonist, Blade, is surrounded by at least a thousand mutant vampires, who really want to kill him. Such is our hero's frustration at the the fact that these near-indestructible monsters do not realise quite how hard he actually is, that his previously stony exterior explodes into a proclamation of: "DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE F#?KING WITH?!!??!", shortly before slaughtering every damned one of the things. Blade is very cool.
There's not really much more that one can say about this film, except for the fact that I find films which try to portray urban decay with burning-oil drums very funny. Its also one of those films that thinks motorbikes, leather, heavy metal, sunglasses and black in general are all very cool... and whatever your persuasion, for the half-hour or so after you leave the cinema, you will totaly agree with this.
Basically, what more can I say...? There's days when you want to watch 'American Beauty' and get
all existential, and there's days when you want to watch films and lacerate someone's face off and Blade II is just perfect for this. Go see (and be really irresponsible and try to smuggle your 13 year old brother in, he'll really appreciate you for it).
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