Tales From the Morgue (Body Bags (DVD))

Member Name: Jake Speed

Product:	Body Bags (DVD)
Date:	06/10/09 (117 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Quite good fun

Disadvantages: Nothing special

Body Bags is a 1993 horror anthology from John Carpenter made for the Showtime television network in the United States. The film features three stories, two directed by John Carpenter and a third directed by Tobe (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) Hooper - in addition to a large number of famous guest stars scattered amongst the cast. Carpenter also features in the film as an actor, hamming it up as the "Coroner", a nutty Crypt-Keeper type character who introduces the stories from a morgue. "Natural causes," ponders the Coroner sadly as he inspects some fresh bodies. "I hate natural causes! Give me a big stab wound to poke at and then I'm happy." The tongue-in-cheek and cheerful nature of the film is indicated right from the start when a pastiche of the MGM lion opens proceedings but replaces the lion with Carpenter wielding a buzzsaw instead over the motto Sanguis Gratia Artis - blood for the sake of art. "You see, when it's murder or suicide or a nasty accident, they stick 'em in the bags. It prevents leakage," explains our host. "Yes indeed, every body tells a story."

The first story is called The Gas Station and was directed by John Carpenter. Anne (Alex Datcher) is a young woman working her way through school and thinks that a job working the night shift at a gas station will be perfect to both bring in some extra money and allow her to revise and study in peace. On her first night though, after being shown the ropes by departing attendant Bill (Robert Carradine), Anne quickly finds out that the night shift on this isolated and eerie stretch of highway is not the easy assignment she'd expected. Police reports state that a homicidal serial killer is on the loose and all manner of strange things start to happen, including Anne's discovery of gruesome homemade paintings daubed in the toilets. The gas station becomes creepier by the second and Anne's night is not helped by being locked out of her secure booth when customer Pete (David Naughton) leaves forgetting his credit card - just after Anne was scared by a rather weird and lecherous other customer (played by horror director Wes Craven). It soon begins to dawn on Anne that she might not be completely alone in this lonely and increasingly unsettling location...

The Gas Station is the strongest and most effective of the stories on offer here and works very well as an atmospheric and creepy riff on urban legends and spooky campfire tales. It's a very simple story with few characters but builds up a good deal of tension with the lonely gas station making a suitably odd and abandoned location as more and more strange things happen and Anne realises that someone might well be prowling around in the dark. It's reminiscent a little of the stalk and slash mechanics of the Scream films and although relatively straight and taut, contains some knowing touches in relation to the genre. Carpenter did direct the original Halloween afterall so he's on fairly firm footing here. Body Bags contains a number of familiar faces in little roles and cameos and Wes Craven and Sam Raimi both seem to enjoy themselves here with minor appearances in this segment.

The second story is called Hair and was directed by John Carpenter again. Hair revolves around Richard Hill (Stacey Keach), a successful financial analyst who has a great life and a supportive girlfriend called Megan (Sheena Easton). The only problem is hair, or the lack of it. The vain Richard is rapidly losing his locks and it's driving him to despair as he investigates various ways to restore his barnet to its former youthful glory, including powders, potions and paints. Just when the depressed Richard is about to give up, he notices a company called Hair Today Growth Laboratories who have been running extensive television adverts. The slightly mysterious Dr Lock (David Warner) and his buxom assistant nurse (Deborah Harry) assure Richard that he is a prime candidate for their wonder treatment and he duly wakes up with a flowing head of hair that makes him look like a WWE wrestler or something. But at what price?

The most broadly comic tale of the three on offer here, Hair has a ludicrously daft but enjoyable resolution and a fun performance from Stacey Keach as he tries out all manner of ways to restore his hair - including some sort of paint that smudges Sheena Easton when she kisses his head! - and preens in front of the mirror when his luxurious new head of hair (he chooses the "Stallion" look) magically appears when he wakes up in the morning. The secret of Keach's miraculous hair restoration is rather silly but does bring the segment back from its comic air into horror and David Warner makes a welcome appearance as the slightly sinister Dr Lock. Sheena Easton is a trifle wooden with her weird transatlantic accent but the presence of Keach makes this segment, which is like a particurlary dotty Stephen King short story, always amusing and enjoyable.

The third and final story is called Eye and was directed by Tobe Hooper. The segment stars Luke Skywalker, I mean Mark Hamill, as Brent Matthews, a hot-shot baseball star who loses an eye in a bad car accident. He is duly given an eye transplant from a dead man with the help of the pioneering Dr Bregman (Roger Corman) but, unsurprisingly, given that this is a compendium horror film!, all does not go quite according to plan. Brent is soon plagued by visions and hallucinations of dead mangled bodies and has a strange desire to dig holes in the garden. It all begs the question, who exactly did his transplanted eye originally belong to?

Eye, a reworking of the 1946 film The Beast With Five Fingers, is well directed with a big car crash sequence and plenty of spooky hallucination capers but is by some considerable distance the dullest of the stories in Body Bags. It's all rather obvious and derivative and the segment is a tad earnest, lacking the fun and knowing twists of the first two stories. Mark Hamill, who is a bit long in the tooth here to be a young baseball superstar, and that legendary thespian Twiggy make a fairly dull pair of leads although Roger Corman does have a cameo as Dr Bregman. Eye is technically competent and perfectly adequate but just isn't as purely enjoyable as the first two stories overall and suffers a little in comparison.

On the whole, Body Bags is nothing terribly special but it does supply some cheap and cheerful late night fun. The first segment is excellent and Hair is constantly amusing. The barrage of guest stars and director cameos add to the spirit of the piece and you get the impression that Carpenter and company enjoyed themselves a great deal putting this together. A must watch for John Carpenter completists but entertaining enough for anyone with a passing interest in horror anthologies.

Summary: Three spooky stories