Mother, is that your ear in the custard? (Braindead (DVD))

Member Name: l-m-n-o-p

Product:	Braindead (DVD)
Date:	03/06/07 (118 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Very funny, tons of gore

Disadvantages: Poor acting, tons of gore

Most people, like me, knew nothing about director Peter Jackson before he burst onto the scene with the beautiful, elegant and spectacular Lord Of The Rings trilogy. However, if you go right back to the start of his career, at the late 80s, you’ll find films which could hardly be more different, such as this one; Braindead (also known in America as Dead Alive). Called by many THE goriest film ever made, it’s a comedy horror which you probably won’t forget in a hurry.

It starts with a hilarious introduction which certainly sets the tone for the rest of the film. On Skull Island (hmm, King Kong anyone?), two explorers are transporting a Sumatran Rat Monkey for delivery to a New Zealand zoo. However, when they are stopped by a tribe and warned not to continue messing with this dangerous creature, all hell breaks loose, and one of the men is bitten. It seems this animal is one of the most deadly known to man, because when the others find his nibbled arm they have just one solution – to chop it off with a rather large axe. Unfortunately for the victim, he’s also been bitten on the other arm. And also on the head.

Cue Braindead; an absolute gorefest which sets unparalleled levels of bloodshed and depravity, and also happens to be hilariously funny.

Cut to 1950s New Zealand, where bumbling mummy’s boy Lionel is struggling to balance his romance with sexy shop assistant Paquita with the overbearing monster that is his mother, Vera. One day, Lionel takes Paquita on a date to the zoo; unbeknown to them, Lionel’s mother has popped along too – to spy on them. However, after an unfortunate accident with the aforementioned Sumatran Rat Monkey, Vera is bitten on the arm, and soon becomes drastically ill. At first Lionel looks after her himself, but when pus starts squirting across the walls and she begins eating dogs whole, it’s time to call the nurse.

Before Lionel can do anything to stop her, she’s rampaging around Wellington, biting and infecting others. Pretty soon most of the townsfolk have transformed into contagious zombies, and it’s down to Lionel and Paquita to purge this undead plague. Prepare for a bloodbath.

Whilst the unimaginably disgusting amounts of gore will certainly set off the alarm bells of some viewers and suggest a terrifying horror movie to many, Braindead is first and foremost an extremely funny film. There are loads of great scenes – particularly most fans’ favourite in which he takes a zombie baby for a walk in the park – and some very funny lines, whilst the central romance between the two characters is always amusing. A host of zany characters, including a kick-ass priest, a strange tarot-reading old lady, and a man with an unhealthy appetite for custard (something which I definitely didn’t have after that particular scene) add to the twisted fun of it all.

But now let’s get down to the main draw: the gore. It doesn’t actually start off that badly; there’s just the odd bit of sporadic violence, and it’s all handled in a humorous – if slightly nauseating – manner. The dinner scene is definitely the best example of this combination between laughing and puking (sorry for putting it so bluntly, but if any film requires such a description, it’s this one).

You would not believe how gory this film gets towards the final scenes. I thought the Evil Dead and Re-Animator were pretty disgusting, but Braindead certainly lives up to its billing as the nastiest of them all. Fortunately it’s all done light-heartedly, and none of it looks real, so it’s not disturbing or scary, but I have never seen so much on-screen blood in all my life. Not that I’m complaining; the lawnmower scene was exhilaratingly fun.

The acting is, unsurprisingly, not very good, especially from Timothy Balme as Lionel, but that adds to the whole fun, and he makes a thoroughly likeable hero. Also worthy of mention is Diana Peñalver, playing Paquita – not so much for her acting, but because she lights up the screen whenever she’s on (apart from maybe at the end, when she’s covered in intestines).

At the end of the day, Braindead is probably as good as you could possibly expect from a film with such a ridiculously stupid story. Some may complain that it’s not scary enough, even for a comedy horror (in fact it’s not scary at all, and I don’t think this was ever Peter Jackson’s intention).

But you can’t take seriously a film involving a kung-fu priest and a pair of, shall we say, romantically entangled zombies. Just sit back, enjoy the twisted humour, be amazed/disgusted by the gore, and wonder just who appointed Peter Jackson to make LOTR after this.
________________________________________________

Braindead can be bought on www.play.com for the bargain price of £5.00.

Directed by: Peter Jackson

Starring:

Timothy Balme … Lionel
Diana Peñalver … Paquita
Elizabeth Moody … Vera
Ian Watkin … Uncle Les

Certificate: 18 (goriest film ever made – what did you expect?)

Running time: 104 minutes

My Rating: 4 zombies

Summary: Gory.