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Cockneys Vs Zombies (DVD)

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2 Reviews
  • Does what it says on the tin
  • Bit long
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    2 Reviews
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    • More +
      06.03.2016 11:24
      Very helpful


      • "Does what it says on the tin"


      • "Bit long"


      Star – The zombies
      Genre – Horror > Comedy
      Run Time – 88 minutes
      Certificate – 1
      Country – USA
      Oscars – Nominations
      Awards – 2 Wins & 1 Nomination
      Amazon – £4.64 DVD (Blue Ray £7.84)
      = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

      So, no clues needed on what this one is about and it’s not West Ham Vs Aston Villa. I’m all for tongue-in-cheek horror (especially when tongue and cheek end up in the street) as serious horror movies tend to seriously disappoint as it mostly American kids killed in order of cool in a cabin somewhere. If you are going to hack someone’s head off with a chain saw then let’s have some fun wit it. This British movie certainly does that. Yes it’s a bit of Shaun of the Dead hybrid but with a fabulous cast full of young English talent and living statues from the Hammer House era like Honor Blackman and Richard Briars you can’t help but giggle with pride. Seeing a Prozac stuffed Richard Briars trying to outrun a zombie on his Zimmer frame at the rest home will stay with you for a while.


      Rasmus Hardiker ... Terry
      Harry Treadaway ... Andy
      Michelle Ryan ... Katy
      Jack Doolan ... Davey Tuppence
      Georgia King ... Emma
      Ashley Thomas ... Mental Mickey
      Tony Gardner ... Clive
      Alan Ford ... Ray
      Honor Blackman ... Peggy
      Tony Selby ... Darryl
      Georgina Hale ... Doreen
      Dudley Sutton ... Eric
      Richard Briers ... Hamish
      Natalie Walter ... Bank Manager
      Phil Cornwell ... Grainger...


      On building site in London an excavator digs up an old crypt, some 400-years-old, sealed by the order of King Charles back in 1666. Two site workers break it open in search of treasure and release a zombie plague instead.

      Across the river in the East End the same developers are threatening to level an old folk’s home, privately run by ex London hardman Davey Tuppence (Jack Doolan) and his trouble and strife Peggy (Honor Blackman), if the couple don’t come up with a new lease form the council.

      Tuppoence grandson Terry (Across the Rasmus Hardiker) doesn’t have old folks or zombie plagues on his mind but armed robbery. With his best mate Andy (Harry Treadaway) and cousin Katy (Michelle Ryan) and hired muscle Mental Mickey (Ashley Thomas) they intend to knock off a bank.

      Back at the rest home the zombies have breached the perimeter and tucking into the residents. Terry and co have successfully robed the bank but now facing the same zombie invasion so have to battle back to the home and save granddad Tuppence and co, wholed up in the rest room with zombies clawing at the windows. But Terry and co are tooled up and granddad may have some shooters of his knocking around from his bank job days and are not done yet.


      I you rent/buy or stream this movie it does what it say on the tin. It’s not as sharp and smart as Shaun of the Dead but a fitting tribute. It’s good splatter zombie fun and as many belly laughs as belly casseroles as flesh is joyously ripped and zombies heads picked off like coconuts in the shy. These are the head kill variety of zombies by the way.

      With the specially written ‘Chaz n Dave’ theme song and with Jack Doolan straight from the Viz Magazine its good fun and who doesn’t love seeing zombies getting blasted by Pussy Galore and Richard Briars. And you get an ex member of Solid Crew with a metal plate in his head dropkicking a baby for good measure. If Carry on Zombies was made today this would be it.

      It has political comment on multicultural London and the gentrification to the rougher boroughs to give it a less puerile edge and not short of tempo.


      Imdb.com – 5.9/10.0 (14,345votes)
      Rottentomatos.com – 74% critic’s approval
      Metacritic.com – 52 %critic’s approval
      Leonard Maltin Film Book –



      ===Special Features===

      -Behind the Scenes-

      Good stuff behind the scenes as we saw all those old faces enjoying the blood and guts and have a good Sarf Landan swear.

      -Zombie School-

      As with all ombie movie the call went out for extras and hundreds turned up. Some quick slow walk (arms down not forward) training and off to make up they go.


      The Sun –‘As subtle as its title, "Cockneys vs. Zombies" is mildly funny and easily likable. How can you not be amused to see Richard Briers with a Zimmer frame trying to outwalk a zombie?

      Village Voice –‘Weightless as a bag of crisps, this matinee fare offers more laughs than scares’

      Toronto Star –‘Stereotype collides with cliché in Cockneys vs. Zombies, but the impact isn't as painful as you might imagine’.

      Yahoo Movies –‘Maybe it's me, but after all the bloated, clanging, FX-driven summer tent poles, I'm partial to a gentle genre horror comedy that has gooey guts - but doesn't throw the heart out with the steaming entrails’.

      Little White Lies –‘unearthing the old Blitz spirit as an antidote to bleak Tory-led times of social abandonment and exclusion, it is an affectionate mash-up of the undead and the East End's underworld, with a half-buried subtext about England's overlooked underclass’.

      Austin Chronicle –‘Cockneys vs. Zombies quickly overcomes its dull-as-death titling and turns out to be the best zombie yuk-fest since Edgar Wright broke new, unhallowed ground with Shaun of the Dead nearly a decade ago’.

      The Wall Street Chronicle –‘The genius of Shaun of the Dead haunts this London comedy-horror romp to such a degree that it's almost impossible to enjoy it on its own terms

      The Mail-‘t's a zom-com mixed with novice gangster antics and "Cor blimey, guv" dialogue, but with gleefully silly gags, over-the-top performances and a neverending stream of zombie killshots, there's just so much fun to be had’.



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    • More +
      02.11.2013 19:38
      Very helpful
      1 Comment



      v. funny

      Zombie film these days seem to either be pathetic, or scarey. All the resident evil films have sort of rolled into one, 28 days/months/ whatever it is I have always found a bit terrible, and since dawn of the dead, there haven't really been any notable zombie films that haven't had a comedy effect to them (if you can think of any, please comment, I am on the look out for good zombie films).

      Cockneys vs zombies is an interesting take on the old zombie film. IN this film, a group of criminals attempt to rob a bank, and when they come out to face the cops, they find london in the grips of a zombie plague. They (and their two hostages) get to the safehouse, only to realise that their grandpa, and old school style cockney gangster in the local carehome might need help. Not only this, but one of them has been bitten, and one of the hostages seems to think the best way to survive is to discuss the moral issues surrounding the various situations, and be way to honest:
      "please let us go, we won't tell anyone who you are"
      "I will, I will let the police know right away"

      Anyway, overall its a pretty brilliant film. What I like about this film is that it didn't start to seriously, you dont get the feeling that the comedy is an afterthought, this film was made to make you laugh. And as it is not too "scary", you never feel that it was trying to be a horror film as well as a comedy film, this really is a film that makes you feel good, nothing quite like watching some people from "LANDAN" tell them LANGUAGE WARNING "Facking zombies where to go" LANGUAGE WARNING.

      Overall this film made my chuckle. Its not really a must see film, but if you ever see it about going cheap, I would recommend you pick it up, its a cheap laugh, and is very "re-watchable", just to see hilarious bits like the people in the old people home being mistake for zombies, or watching a group of Cockney mobsters trying to shoot a zombie in the head... who has a metal plate placed over his head. This is the second funniest zombie film I have ever seen, second only to sean of the dead, which seemed to start this whole zombie comedy thing.

      Overall then, I give this 4/5.


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