Schwarzennever Again (Collateral Damage (DVD))

Member Name: plipplop

Product:	Collateral Damage (DVD)
Date:	30/03/07 (93 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Bit of a twist in its tale

Disadvantages: Arnie and the plot - to start with

Sad though it may sound, there comes a time in an actor’s career when he really should give it a rest. Arnold Schwarzenegger has made a lot of films over the last two decades, with some veritable classics such as Predator and The Terminator that will leave his fans with fond memories. Nonetheless, like many before him, Arnie seems intent on squeezing every last dime out of his name and each film release now pours more scorn on his status as an accomplished actor. It’s also worth noting that film audiences change. What was acceptable (and indeed demanded) in the 1980s, may not be required in the 1990s – and will almost certainly be rejected in the year 2002.

Collateral Damage is a typical Arnie movie, with all the typical Arnie ingredients. In this one, Mr S is a Los Angeles fireman, admired by his friends and colleagues and adored by his beautiful wife and young son. He is due to meet his wife and son one day, when an enormous explosion in the building next door rips into the terrace where they are seated, killing them both. It transpires that the explosion is the work of a terrorist known only as The Wolf, who subsequently releases a video claiming that the bomb was an act of retribution on the USA, for their continued presence in Colombia.

Consumed with grief and rage, Arnie is suitably unimpressed with the efforts of the US anti-terrorist task force to bring the culprits to justice, and instead opts to take matters into his own hands. Luckily, it transpires that one of his colleagues knows someone with Colombian intelligence experience, and armed with a clean shirt and a big backpack, Arnie sets off into the Colombian jungle. His presence in the country is quickly realised by both the guerrillas and a US task force working in the region, both of who see Arnie as an opportunity and set about capturing him. Needless to say, he generally defies their attempts to get him, but his planned revenge on The Wolf is foiled by his new friendship with a local woman and her young son. With more than one hidden agenda and a few surprises, Arnie needs his wits about him if he intends to stay alive long enough to foil the terrorist.

You could probably say much the same thing about most action films, but this one really is an insult to your intelligence. If this was a loaf of bread, it wouldn’t just be stale, it would be so mouldy that even the penicillin would refuse to grow on it. The formula has been done to death and is so full of clichés that it would be a cliché to criticise them. But what the hell – here we go, nonetheless.

I’ve long thought that many actors very carefully select their film roles, in order that they portray them exactly how they would like the public to see them. Arnie is one such culprit and has long adhered to the idea that he wants to be seen as a family-friendly, all action hero. And so, in Collateral Damage, the trend continues once again. He has a beautiful wife (she couldn’t be ugly now, could she?) with an equally beautiful child, who dotes on him and the family all live in a beautiful home. It’s all so contrived and deliberately created just to make the impression of subsequent loss even more harrowing. I’ve never really understood why Arnie’s voice/accent has never really changed over the years, but as time goes on it sounds more and more out of place. Anything more complex than “Yes” or “No” sounds forced and he really struggles with the dialogue. The poor man is also starting to look a bit old. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, unless you are being expected to run around the Colombian jungle looking hard.

The biggest problem here, of course, is that a film starring Arnie is an Arnie film – so if Arnie isn’t much good, then the film just crashes and burns around his ears. The other cast members are inconsequential – this is Arnie’s show from start to finish – which is certainly not a particularly good thing. The whole film has an 80s feel to it – it just doesn’t work in the year 2002.

The subject matter is also handled very clumsily, which should really come as no surprise, but I still found myself questioning the thinking behind this film. In these politically sensitive days, when the subject of terrorism is high on everyone’s agenda, filmmakers need to be very careful about how they portray such matters on film. My advice would be that if they can’t say something meaningful, then they probably shouldn’t say anything at all. In Collateral Damage, the terrorists in question come from Latin America, but their cause is never really explained, and with an absence of knowledge on world politics, the average viewer wouldn’t really have a clue what was going on. Of course, for the purposes of this story, it wouldn’t really matter who the terrorists were – they’re the bad guys, and that’s exactly how they’re going to stay. Throw in a liberal mixture of fake politics, a bit of a drug smuggling and a covert government unit that’s so secret even the viewers don’t get told who they are, and you have the perfect recipe for a bad movie.

The film only has one saving grace and that is that it has a bit of a twist in its tale that works rather well. It was all kind of obvious really, but I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t actually see it coming, so it did perk up my interest in the proceedings a little bit. In these good versus evil tales the eventual demise of the bad guys is always quite satisfying, even if it is normally executed without a shred of plausibility.

There really isn’t a lot more to say. Collateral Damage is out of touch with today’s audience and just makes Arnie look like a cash-grabber. The film is silly, clumsy and generally very dull. I think you can probably guess what I’m going to say next.

Not recommended

Summary: Crapola thriller with Annie scraping the barrel for the bucks