Damme this is bad! (Cyborg (DVD))

Member Name: Pete1801

Product:	Cyborg (DVD)
Date:	21/03/02 (108 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Fire, JCVD does the splits (again)

Disadvantages: Everything

I sat down to watch this in the perfect setting - 38 inch widescreen TV with surround sound, loa1ds of coke (cola), chips, dip, and a bunch of the lads. We'd picked up the vid for £2.99 in HMV - you can't go wrong with jean-claude, with such classics to his name as Timecop, dead heat, blood sport, and lest we forget that beauty double impact which gives us 2 Van Dammes in one film! Oh does life get any better???!!! (btw, there is a slight tinge of sarcasm in this review...)

So anyway, we sat down expecting the usual thing - Jean-Claude taking on the world - and winning - with plenty of fighting and the ubiquitous splits. In this respect, we weren't too dissapointed.
The film follows JCVD's vigilante character fighting his way through post-apocalyptic america, seeking revenge and happening accross a pretty (some might say!) girl along the way, who, surprise surprise, he ends up helping.
But let's ignore the plot of the film, becuause, in all honesty, it's useless! However, having said that, what about the film, then, can we not ignore!!
The direction (Albert Pyun) is absolutely atrocious, even the fight scenes are horrific - no artistry to them, in fact it seems as though the director wasnt present for the majority and just left some camera men in a room with a load of bulky men and told them to go mad!
Ok, so ignoring the direction as well, what about the acting? Ha! Anyone who has seen JCVD before should not have any misconceptions about the fact that he can't act, never has done, never will do!
So what is there that is good.....? Hmmm, a tricky one....there is a lot of fire which makes things a bit exciting.....there is A cheesy line right at the end which is more like what we've come to expect from a JCVD film "I think maybe he is the cure....blah blah blah". Actually on that point, i think that is the main problem - lack of cliches. The only reason you watch films like this is for the cheese
factor that makes it laughable and a great blokey film to watch (along with the kickboxing). The director missed out on some perfect opportunities (the baddie only comes back to life ONCE for crying out loud!!). Anyway, watch out for the JCVD infamous splits scene featured in every one of his film - this is a beauty of an example and the highlight of the film.
Try and ignore the acting, the story, the direction (oh god those cut-scenes....), the music, hell even the title isn't very fitting, the cyborg is hardly the main chaaracter here!
Maybe i've missed something, maybe this is just way above me? who knows. In fact i wonder if the director was going for a bladerunner style - "is JCVD really a cyborg himself" type ending? Me thinks not.

Do not see this film, even for Jean-Claude this is awful.

Summary: