Turkish Star Wars! (Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam (DVD))

Name: The Polar One

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Product:	Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam (DVD)
Date:	12.04.07 (225 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: So bad it's good

Disadvantages: Virtually everything

Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam (1982)

Better known as ‘Turkish Star Wars’, but literally translated to 'The Man Who Saves the World', this is one of the most ludicrously bad films ever to grace the screen. The reason it is known as ‘Turkish Star Wars’ is because during the introduction and grand finale it uses, or shamelessly steals, footage from the original Star Wars death star assault and tries to integrate it with it’s own plot. I found the plot quite hard to fathom. I don’t know if that is simply because it makes little sense or because the subtitles are very bad. For the record the subtitles are bad, containing spelling errors, poor grammar, and at times fully admitting that even they can’t understand what is being said. At least twice they say ‘gibberish’ in brackets, then later say, ‘some gibberish about brains and blood’. It all adds to the overall effect of hilarity though.

For what it’s worth the plot appears to be about a strange alien alliance that wants to destroy the Earth. Yeah, that old chestnut. The human race has devised a way to use its collective mental will power to create a defensive shield against all enemy forces. The aliens, lead by Darth Vader wannabe Bilgin'in Kizi (although he looks more like Ming the Merciless), are sure that if they can break the will of one human’s mind they can learn how to defeat the Earth. There are also some strange ancient artefacts, a gold sword and gold brain in a box, plus a few references made to the Koran for good measure. Unfortunately due to some poor editing it’s actually quite hard to tell whether it is the x-wings or the tie fighters that are on the Earths side. At some points it seems like the death star is supposed to be Earth. But that’s all rather irrelevant really, since the funniest stuff is filmed with our crashed landed heroes on the aliens’ home planet.

Murat and Ali are the perfect human heroes, not to mention an amusing little double act. Brave fighters by day, love makers by night. Nothing phases these two. Not even the cavalry of skeletal warriors that quickly greet them. Fight scenes are long and frequent throughout the film, and actually very entertaining. Our heroes use some sort of pseudo-kung fu to despatch all manner of poorly dressed monsters, and all to the ‘borrowed’ music of Raiders of the Lost Ark. In fact, it shows how a good bit of music can really liven up some rubbish filmmaking. To be fair the editing is quite modern in its pace, although it can be all over the place. Sometimes it has to be in order to conceal the obvious trampolines used to create the illusion of flying kicks. The over use of trampoline trickery actually becomes more and more jarring as time goes on. But also funnier, so that’s a relief.

The special effects on display are delightful. It brings back memories of being 4 years old and wearing a cardboard box on my head in the garden. Only here it’s a full grown man in a furry bear suit, which would be more befitting of sesame street, and filmed in the Turkish desert. There are a whole variety of monsters including some PVC robots, mummies, and mutants (that look like stolen footage from a 70s Italian horror film). It’s strange that the most frequently used monsters seem to be the least convincing, although I suspect that is because of the shoe-string budget.

The cast is uniformly woeful. There are plenty of Paddington stares and action grimaces, but the dialogue is delivered quite plainly. The two heroes generally exchange a lot of banter about being tough and bedding the ladies. There are numerous tedious speeches from chief bad guy Bilgin'in Kizi to the effect of, “I am the most powerful and wicked being in the cosmos. You cannot resist me. Soon you will all be vanquished. My dad’s better than yours. He has a big Jag.” I’m paraphrasing of course. None of it is very convincing, but since it’s all subtitled it doesn’t matter too much. The only female character in the whole film doesn’t get any lines (probably something to be thankful for).

I’ve already mentioned the use of music from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Other classic scores that feature include Flash Gordon, Planet of the Apes and Star Wars. I don’t recall there being any original music in the film, but I guess they are trying to keep some sort of consistency that the plot obviously can’t deliver. The best original sound effect in the film comes from the whooshing noise created for a pair of flailing nunchaks that is obviously just being mouthed by a man behind the camera.

I wasn’t entirely sure how to rate this. While it is incredibly bad, it is remarkably funny, and managed to hold my interest. However, unlike other bad films, I don’t think I will bother with many repeat viewings. I’d rather continue to explore the seeming Turkish tradition of Hollywood mimicry. If you look hard enough there are apparently DVDs of Turkish Exorcist and Turkish Superman. I wouldn’t recommend anyone pay more than one or two pounds for this, or it’s probably best to borrow a copy off an incredibly sad friend as I did.

Turkish Star Wars might be wholly unoriginal, poorly produced, badly written, badly acted, and on the verge of a lawsuit. However, if you love bad movies then this is the king. It’s a kitsch, frothy romp, more absurd than Spaceballs, full of action scenes, and with a surprisingly watchable pace. Watch it if you dare.


Rated: ? (12)
Running Time: 91 mins


Trivia: A sequel has been made, 'Dunyayi kurtaran adamin oglu' or 'The Son of the Man Who Saves the World', featuring many of the original cast and crew, in 2006. Go figure.


[For anyone wondering I'll be back to the bottom 100 soon as a suggestion goes through.]

Summary: A historic film for the Turkish film industry. Kind of like the Hindenburg.