Jill Hates Spiders More Than I Do (Eight Legged Freaks (DVD))

Member Name: FORCHARITY

Product:	Eight Legged Freaks (DVD)
Date:	26/08/02 (150 review reads)
Rating:

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It's no secret that I'm something of a fan of cheesy horror movies (and in case these charidee things remain anonymous, then you've got a guessing game now eh? lol) and general B-movie trash so when I heard a movie entitled "Eight Legged Freaks" (originally to be titled "Arac-Attack", before someone decided it might sound a little too much like "Iraq-Attack" anyway lol!) was due to hit the cinema screens I was always going to be one of the first in line to see it. Obviously, with a name like that, it's a tongue in cheek homage to B-movie monster flicks and as such, it treads along a very fine line between being hokey fun or falling foul of playing it too seriously or too much for laughs and failing to deliver the goods. For every campy slice of brilliance like Tremors there are hundreds of dismal flops like Lake Placid out there, but when movie makers get it right, they have an instant cult success on their hands and guaranteed video sales for.many years down the line...no matter how averagely their movie performs at the box office. I think Eight Legged Freaks gets it right for the most part, despite a few initial teething problems and will shift copies no matter how average it's cinema performance may be and I'd say most will be happy with what they are given.

Naturally this isn't going to be a movie to suit all tastes and anyone who steps inside a movie theatre or slips this into their VCR/DVD player expecting anything other than cheesy, campy fun is going to be sorely disappointed in what they get for their money...and they damn well deserve to be. As with the quite excellent Reign Of Fire (niche audience again my dears, you'll probably hate it unless you're into dragons), which begins showing nationally on Aug. 23rd, there are no hidden depths to go hunting out, no surprises or anything else, it is in fact, everything you'd expect/hope it would be. It's a monster flick w
ith no pretensions of being otherwise and if the idea of giant, hungry spiders running rampage isn't your scene then you are well advised to *Stay Away*...and if you don't, you have no right to moan about it being 'shallow' etc. afterwards as some have commented. I wonder what they expected exactly? Romeo & Juliet Pt. 2? I have no sympathy and you have been warned too, so no complaints...

Anyway, the plot is pretty simplistic. In true 50's B-movie style, some toxic waste finds it's way into the local ecosystem and then into the food supply of a bunch of spiders being reared at some kind of exotic spider farm. Naturally, said spiders start to grow exponentially, become a little too big for their tanks, increase in aggression and fancying something a little more appetising than free-range toxic sludge fed bugs, they break out, gobble the spider-farmer and besiege the small American community of Pleasantville. The only thing which stands in the way of them flying straight to the top of the food chain (spiders lay millions of eggs remember) is a small band of locals, consisting of B-movie and even lesser known actors...oh and David Arquette who is famous for erm...well, for being Courtney Cox's fella, which makes him the principal player Chris McCormack. Along for the ride comes a spider expert kid (Mike Parker), his sister (Ghostworld's Scarlett Johnassen), Sheriff Sam Parker, played by the ever-naked B-movie veteran Kari Wuhrer, a conspiracy theory spouting radio host (Doug E. Doug), the expected dumbass cop and a variety of characters with 'generic spider-fodder' stamped all over them.

Umm, that's about it, a classic B-movie set up and a fun, no-brainer movie.

I enjoyed Eight Legged Freaks although it's impossible to give it anything other than a 3 star rating (it's a 7/10 really, but dooyoo won't let me do half stars) because of a really dull opening half hour and of course, B-movie
hokum is never worthy of 5 stars in the first place...is it? Well, I think the genre is great, but most would disagree. The opening half hour bogs down quite horribly and tries a little *too* hard to be campy, is packed with unnecessary exposition and some weak character development which is entirely superfluous for a movie like this and it's true to say I looked at my watch a few times and considered nipping back out for more pocorn before things really started to rock and roll. However, when the spiders DO start a-leaping and a-scuttling and a-chomping then it's enormous fun, following in the footsteps of the likes of Tremors and Arachnophobia (think of Eight Legged Freaks as a kind of hybrid of the two) in bringing B-movie monster horror flicks to the big screen with great success. If the first quarter/third of the movie had been as good as the final hour then it'd be a classic, as it stands, its fun and you can't ask for much more than that sometimes.

First time director Ellory Alkayem brings a lightness of tone and sense of fun to the movie which is both infectious and stands as a great platform for the self-referential in-jokes, humour laden script and visual gags to do their work. No, Eight Legged Freaks isn't the most intelligent movie in the world, nor is it the funniest and self-referential horror is getting a little 'old', but when it's done well then it's good fun. This is especially true for genre fans although I don't think there's much here which will slip past the average cinema-goer either so don't think it's one of those which are full of subtle nods at obscure movies because it isn't. Special note should also go to the John Ottman composed soundtrack which cleverly (although perhaps predictably) includes some great spidery references as well which I found kinda cool.

One point of concern is the special effects, the spiders themselves certainly look like fake CGI creations,
but in a movie like this you're hard-pressed to say whether this is something which has been done on purpose or not. I'd say it probably has, along with the script packed with cheesy lines, the stereotypical genre characters and dire acting, it's all part of the B-movie reverie. It's all *meant* to be a bit naff and erm, well it achieves it, but in a good way if that makes any sense whatsoever! Anyway, I detest spiders so the less real a 20ft creepy-crawly looks the better in my book!! The CGI effects work, they look like spiders, move like spiders and will certainly gross you out like spiders, but you'll never be in any doubt that they are special effects. Like I said, it's no bad thing...

This movie is rated as a 12 (I think!) so you're quite safe from blood and gore here, and for once Kari Wuhrer manages to stay in her clothes so aside from a little splattered spider gore and obligatory "cat-leaping-out-of-the-broom-cupboard" style scares it's unexpectedly palatable...well, it'd be most unlike producer Dean Devlin(and I'm sure usual suspect Roland Emmerich had more than a little input too) to make it otherwise and miss out on a few bucks wouldn't it? Umm, it would by the way if I just lost you. ;o) Unless you are scared 'shirtless' (ahem) by spiders then you should able to survive the 98 minutes without suffering too much trauma from the experience, hey I did and I scream like a girlie when I catch the merest glimpse of the revolting creatures, so you should be safe...although there are a few generic shocks which might cause minor heart failure... ;o)

Is it worth a cinema trip and the extortionate price of a ticket to see this movie? Yes, if you liked movies like Arachnophobia, Tremors, From Dusk To Dawn etc. and considered them worthy of the ticket price, then go for it - I don't think you'll be disappointed. For everyone else...well, you know yourself whether giant rampaging
spiders are your scene or not, and if it's just a 'maybe' then wait for the video release as at least then you can skip through the dull opening third. Personally, I loved it once it got moving even if I do hate spiders with a passion!

[This opinion was donated to the FORCHARITY account by wampyrii. To read more about this initiative go to the FORCHARITY profile page where all will be revealed!]

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