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Embrace Of The Vampire (DVD)

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2 Reviews

Genre: Horror / Theatrical Release: 1994 / Director: Anne Goursaud / Actors: Martin Kemp, Alyssa Milano ... / DVD released 17 April, 2006 at Contender Entertainment Group / Features of the DVD: PAL

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    Your dooyooMiles Miles

    2 Reviews
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      22.12.2008 20:52
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      A stake thro DVD

      I usually like movies in which young and not jet famous actors do almost anything. Later regretting that have ever done those movies. And Embrace Of The Vampire it's a movie that that looks like one of this kind. Alyssa Milano looks like she is ready to do anything just because she is in the movie. Of course this just looks like one of the previous mentioned movies because, movie is plain afoul.

      Story is very much already known. A vampire (played by Martin Kemp) seeking his one true (reincarnated) love. He finds it a hot young Alyssa Milano's body (do you know a better place to start searching). She, unfortunately for our vampire is very very conservative. She is saving her virginity for the right guy/moment, but our bad guy has only three days to do her. On his way of seduction we/he meets her more liberal friends, her boyfriend who also wont do sleep with her. And some other characters-why are in the movie I don't know, except for getting Alyssa Milano undress. That is for instance a character of photographer that after a couple of minute is already getting it on with Alyssa. Why? We don't know. As for female viewers there is a couple of could be sexy guys but- that you must decide for your self. Watching a movie to do so, I strongly dissuade.

      As you may already find out acting is terrible- I only wonted to see the movie because of Alyssa. It wasn't worth the torture thro the rest of the movie. A word of advice - the scenes of naked Alyssa you can get online without the terrible movie attached to it. Directing is even worse. Even scenes with nudity are bad. We can't say that there is a soundtrack.

      If you are a vampire genre fan, keep away from this one, because it will make you hate the genre. For the rest of you. Not wourth buying.

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      28.02.2003 14:30
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      Umm, my excuse for watching this was erm, umm, no OK I admit it, I heard Alyssa Milano was in it and there was a fair amount of bare skin on display Well, may as well be honest about it eh? It's pretty much the only selling point behind the movie and surely the only reason New Line actually bothered to dig the movie up from the obscurity of their straight to video back catalogue and transfer it to DVD. Actually that wasn't the only reason because I was looking for something camp and vampyric for last weekend's viewing pleasure and it was either a choice of this or Razorblade Smile which I've yet to hear anything at all good about. Embrace Of The Vampire got the vote and would continue to every time because any movie with Spandau Ballet's Martin Kemp as a love-lorn vampire, Charmed's Alyssa Milano as a convent educated prissy girlie sliding towards becoming a vampire harlot and the likes of Jennifer Tilly getting in on the action someplace just sounded too bad to be true. Truth be told, it was bad, but really bad movies have their place in the entertainment world and sometimes they are a lot more entertaining than the good ones! Anyhoo, the plot is nothing much to speak of, in fact, it's one I'm sure you've seen at least 100 times before in B-movie flicks with befanged ones providing the entertainment. Yes it's the ''I've crossed oceans of time to be with you'' thang again ladies and germs, the ''charismatic bloodsucker running around harrassing some virgin or other again because she reminds him of his lost squeeze from hundreds of years ago'' plot, the...oh basically it's about a vampire who wants to get into Milano's frillies! Why these creatures take so long to actually get around to business is anyone's guess but they usually have some lame excuse or other. The excuse trotted out this time is that the virginal Milano must completely give her heart to the vampire and
      dump her long-suffering virginal boyfriend of 14 months(aka the blue-balls champion of the college campus) or else he can't properly have her as there's some unwritten vampire rule saying he can't just take her...or something! Apparently this has to be achieved within three days and she simply must remain virginal or our horny vampire in love is going to ''fall into the sleep of eternity''...that's erm, ''die'' to the rest of you non-vampires. In order to split the pair up our vampire visits their dreams to put doubt in their minds about their relationship and slavers over Milano during her dreams whilst slipping the notion into her head that she might like to be a little more promiscuous...giving the movie the opportunity to show her drifting from one near moment of nookie to another during her waking hours as she slowly transforms from convent girl to town bike. Not that this makes sense when you consider that 'the vampire'(he never is given a name and is credited at the end as ''Vampire'') needs her to remain pure but oh well! Anyhoo, the exciting premise you're meant to be hanging on to the edge of your seat over is whether the befanged Kemp will get to play hide the salami in three days time or whether Milano will have a headache and he'll had to roll over and go do that sleep of eternity thing... Did I mention it was naff? Still, maybe you're like me and see any movie which is really bad as actually being quite good...if you are, then you might like this. Truth be told, I love vampire flicks and I've seen an awful lot of them and amongst a rather naff genre packed with B-movie tripe this isn't all THAT bad. It's a three star vampire movie, whilst barely scraping a 2 star rating as a movie in general. Martin Kemp really doesn't make a very good vampire(American critics seem to think he's a low budget Nicholas Cage alternative lol) as he&#
      39;s too soft spoken and commands very little screen presence. It's hardly a powerful performance and he hardly exudes that irrestible sexual lure our typically randy vampire is meant to but he does get to deliver the most hilariously lame monologues so there is a redeeming feature. You will laugh pretty much every time he opens his mouth. Milano on the other hand plays sweet and virginal well, although it's a little difficult to swallow the role when she seems to spend at least half the movie nekkid and by the halfway point has already posed for nude photography and had several moments of almost nookie(with both sexes). The rest are the rest, there to get bitten or shift the plot along...oh yes, Jennifer Tilly wanders in for about 5 minutes to play the husky voiced femme fatale role yet again in case you're interested, whilst the rest I've never seen or heard of, nor would expect to in the future. So, the acting is erm, 'of dubious quality' and the script matches it so in a vampire movie you're left with the blood, guts and gore count...which is very low. There's a few amusing shots of Kemp trying to bite students on the neck but you can see his false vampire teeth get in the way to the point where he can barely open his mouth wide enough to part them lol! More amusement comes later when he's to be found again licking a blood splattered door(please don't ask, I think it is meant to be erotic) whilst ignoring the sweet juicy throbbing jugular at his feet...makes you wonder how he managed to make it this far as a vampire as he seems pretty clueless! Oh let's face it, the movie seems to have been sold on the promise of seeing the bird who used to be in Who's The Boss (and later Charmed) in the buff, so add or subtract stars based upon the appeal of that premise to you. Embrace Of The Vampire tries to be an erotic vampire flick when it remembers to but for the most part it's all rather amusing with the few
      times it does attempt to turn up the heat being rather abortive and quickly closed off in order to ensure it's place on late night cable channels everywhere. Expect it on Channel 5 sometime soon, it's right up their Friday night alley. The DVD features on the R1 release are...non-existent(sorry, no clue about the R2 but I doubt it'll be any better, worse perhapsas they're rarely better). The picture quality is about as good as you are going to get from a straight to video release, a little grainy but the colour hues seem fine and it's passable if you don't expect too much. The sound is passable too, probably mildly better than a VHS copy but not much. You do get two versions of the movie here on the R1 release, one supposedly steamier than the other but to be fair there's nothing particularly steamy in either version so that's a bit of a marketing ploy from New Line which has little foundation in reality! No commentaries, no making of featurettes, no cut scenes etc. you've pretty much just got the film on a nice shiny disc as opposed to a chunky black video tape. I'm not even sure the R2 release has the two different versions for that matter. Would I recommend purchasing this? Nope. Borrow it from a friend, rent it if it's cheap enough but buy it? No. Not unless around 10-15 minutes of Milano's norks wrapped up in an amusingly derivative 80 minutes of vampire story is worth around £12.99 to you anyway. It's pretty much that other rather naff Alyssa Milano vehicle Poison Ivy 2 again but with some blood and fangs thrown in.

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