Nothing fantastic. (Fantastic Four - Rise Of The Silver Surfer (DVD))

Member Name: l-m-n-o-p

Product:	Fantastic Four - Rise Of The Silver Surfer (DVD)
Date:	24/06/07 (128 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Entertaining, Jessica Alba, albeit it not at the same time

Disadvantages: Poor story and villains, too childish, nothing special, Alba's acting

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer wasn’t a film I particularly wished to rush out and see. But, in the absence of anything better on at the Odeon, I decided to give it a go. I hadn’t seen the first one, I had no particular wish to see the first one, and now after seeing this, I still have no particular wish to see the first one.

Presumably carrying on from the end of the first one, Reed Richards/Mr Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd) is getting married to Sue Storm/The Invisible Woman (Jessica Alba). Her brother, Johnny Storm/The Human Torch (Chris Evans, no, not THAT Chris Evans) and Ben Grimm/The Thing (Michael Chiklis) complete the super-powered team. If you want the back story, you’ll have to check out the first one.

Sadly for the happy couple, a mystical entity called the Silver Surfer (voiced by Laurence Fishbourne) has chosen this weekend as the perfect time to attack the Earth, causing seas to freeze and pyramids to get a little frosty just by flying over them. Coincidentally, Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon) has also suddenly re-awakened from what seems to be some kind of cryogenic freezing. (Again: first one).

Will the quartet be able to stop fighting amongst themselves in order to save the world from impending disaster? Will Mr Fantastic and Invisible Woman be able to live a normal life and raise a family? And what the heck would their kids be like? These are just some of the thought-provoking questions raised in this film.

There’s nothing that stands out as being really awful about this film, but on the other hand there’s nothing that jumps out as being spectacular. It’s consistently average. But, y’know, since it’s more fun to have a rant about the bad aspects of a film, here I go.

Everything about it is your typical by-the-book superhero action movie. The structure in particular feels distinctly episodic: “oh no, there’s something causing bad stuff!” followed by “let’s talk about what to do” followed by “big action scene!” followed by “the nature of the bad stuff has changed slightly, let’s talk about what to do with this in mind ” followed by “big action scene!” and so on.

Even then, the “big action scene!”s aren’t particularly spectacular, in the way that Transformers looks like it will have spectacular action scenes. They’re typical, family-friendly, CGI-heavy, pretty good-but-not-spectacular action scenes. Take, for instance, the following: the London Eye is about to fall into the river Thames. Between them the gang manage to save it, along the way courting mild peril with the use of a fair bit of CGI stretching and heavy lifting. It’s fun, but as any Roland Emmerich fan would tell you, it would be much more entertaining to actually see the London Eye fall into the river Thames. Then again, this is a PG; perhaps people falling to their doom and drowning wouldn’t go down so well with the kiddies.

Combined with a story containing glaringly obvious twists and moral redemption for all, CGI that looks decent but nothing special by today’s standards, Jessica Alba’s performance erring on the MDF side, and humour that didn’t really tickle my funny bone (although my friend seemed to be laughing all the way through; then again she laughs at anything), it was a distinctly underwhelming entertainment experience. At least they didn’t resort to fart jokes à la Scooby Doo.

On the positive side, this film does raise a few super-power-related chuckles, but these are mostly as obvious as you would expect, e.g. Mr Fantastic’s face getting squashed into funny shapes - done not once, but twice, in case it wasn’t funny enough the first time. Secondly, there is a humorous, slightly post-modern cameo from Stan Lee, playing himself, being refused entry to the wedding. This was slightly spoiled by having to explain it to my friend who laughed at everything except the funniest scene, but still humorous. Thirdly, there was one joke that actually did make me properly laugh out loud, which I would feel really bad about spoiling for you.

Also, this film does include the intriguing twist of having their powers switch, leading to the Invisible Woman all aflame, the Human Torch turning into rock, and Michael Chiklis without make up. And this is more than just a one-scene gimmick; it’s actually used later on in the film, which is a bit more sophisticated than I would have given the film credit for. Finally, even if she’s a wooden actress, Jessica Alba wasn’t voted FHM’s #1 sexiest woman of 2007 for nothing. Similarly, the rest of the cast is filled with great-looking people. Even the silver surfer has a certain metallic charm.

Maybe the fact that my Odeon blows (they don’t even switch the lights off, although that’s a different story) influenced me negatively, plus I always seem to enjoy a film at the time then suddenly realise how bad it was afterwards ( <cough> POTC 2 <cough>), so it might be wise to take all my criticism with a pinch of salt. At the end of the day, this is an entertaining film; great for undemanding movie-goers looking for an evening of mindless entertainment, or if you want something to keep the nippers quiet for an hour and a half.

If you’re a discerning film buff like myself, stay away, you probably won’t like it! - 2 stars

For everyone else, it’s not that bad! - 3 stars
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Directed by: Tim Story

Starring:

Ioan Gruffudd … Reed Richards/Mr Fantastic
Jessica Alba … Sue Storm/Invisible Woman
Chris Evans … Johnny Storm/Human Torch
Michael Chiklis … Ben Grimm/The Thing
Julian McMahon … Victor Von Doom

Classification: PG (sequences of action violence, some mild language and innuendo)

Running time: 92 minutes

My rating: 2 ½ stars

Summary: In a word: AVERAGE