Release date: 2002

A few years ago I came across a movie called Meet the Spartans. It was rubbish. I considered it possibly the worst movie I had ever saw. Then I remembered some toss from several years ago called Halloween Resurrection, which I remembered could never be beaten for all-round cinematic garbage.

The only way that Halloween: Resurrection could considered more of an obvious Hollywood cash-in was if it was infact titled Halloween: Cash In. A personal gripe with this is that I was a very big fan of the previous installment - Halloween H20. There is a story to tell in H20, which is played out very well. Laurie Strode has her final confrontation with her psychopathic brother, with a grande finale culminating in the death of Michael by her hand. An epic cinematic moment to end the greatest horror franchise of all time.

But no, that would be too easy, wouldn't it?

So let's resurrect Michael Myers. Let's cancel out the final events of H20. Let's make up some stupid, farfetched and ridiculous reason for Michael to have escaped his fate in the previous film.

So here we are 3 years on. Laurie Strode has for some reason been confined to a mental home, despite surviving her brother's attacks for over 20 years. She is pretending to have some kind of behavioral problems, and is not taking her medication. Obviously, since Michael Myers is not dead, he tracks her down and the two siblings have one last stand together on the roof of the sanitarium. After a brief exchange of glances and the odd word, Laurie is killed (yup) and Michael heads back towards Haddonfield.

And so begins the plot. Or at least what is meant to be a plot. A company by the name of DANGERTAINMENT (no I didn't make that word up), fronted by the illustrious Busta Rhymes (no I didn't make that up either) get the idea to set up a game to be broadcast live on the internet. A group of students will spend the night inside Michael Myer's childhood home to see if they can decipher the infamous serial murderer's motives. Nevermind the police or the FBI for that job. If anyone can do it, it's one of the virgins from American Pie. That comment might be a bit harsh since he's only in it for a few minutes but I don't care. This movie sucks.

The students start searching the house for 'clues'. They split up into groups, because you need to in a house this big, and of course Michael shows up and starts taking out the kids one by one, in a dull, bland and forgettable fashion.

I've seen quite a few bad movies in my time. Take Jason X for example. A complete load of toss which granted, doesn't take itself seriously. However Halloween: Resurrection does, which is what makes it twice as stupid. The culmination of this movie is easily the worst ending in the history of cinema. Trying to justify it with words is a difficult task, but I'll have a go.

Busta Rhymes, the hip fun lovin' gangsta who is as wisecrack as any TV executive, let's rip the classic line 'TRICK OR TREAT, MOTHERF*****', and spin-kicks Michael Myers to his certain demise. Yes, a man who has previously survived being shot in the chest, off a balcony, through a table, has been defeated with a martial arts move by a hip rapper.

That's the movie summed up. A translucent plot with no sense or logic. Bringing in Jamie Lee Curtis for 5 minutes at the start, then killing her off for the attempted 'shock value' which eventually turned out to be 'these writers are morons value'. The desperate attempt to add length to the film with the drawn-out tension and unoriginal kill scenes in the Myers' house. The horrendous cast who have a subtle competition to see who can be the most annoying. The incredibly offensive ending, and the fact it disparages the fantastic Halloween: H20.

If you ever think of seeing this film. Don't. It's a crass, pointless and an fairly blatant attempt at milking the franchise for it's final payout. Luckily there has been no mention of a Halloween movie following on from this, apart from Rob Zombie's white trash version which I won't take into account.

If your eyes ever happen to lay upon this visual disaster, turn it off and pretend that the Halloween legacy ended at H20.

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