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OH MY GOD
Jeepers Creepers (DVD)
Member Name: D1A1
Jeepers Creepers (DVD)
Date: 13/11/01, updated on 13/11/01 (116 review reads)
Firstly, I can't believe I wasted £5.70 on this monstrosity! Jeepers Creepers immediately put me off watching it by the name alone - I mean c'mon? But don't judge a book by it's cover and all that, I went to see it with a few mates, and thankfully they all agreed that it was the worst film they've ever seen.
Anyway, it starts off promisingly, aside from the half empty cinema (not a great sign), with some intriguing goings on in, a brother and sister driving back on a long road from Uni or something, squabbling but trying to find the way back to their home...
Approached by a large rusty train like truck, with a rather suspicious looking number plate "BEATNGU" decides to try and plough them off the road, they manage to let it past, and the story continued.
Now if this review seems bitty, and it should do, it's because the film's storyline seemed to have torn apart from the beginning to the end - the siblings notice a small church on the side of the road, down a small lane and that rusty war like train lorry is outside it, the driver gets out and dumps a couple of body shaped rope tied cloth wrapped things down a pipe...Very nice...
Ok, after the BEATNG U truck leaves they stupidly go and investigate, the brother of course uses a guilt trip on his sister "what if it was you down there", well they go and look with the brother peering down there, and his sister (I forget the names, but they weren't important), holding his feet so he could get a closer look - at this stage the film looks very promising - they might both fall down and some kind of scary movie may have taken place, but no. The brother slips down after a gang of rats makes the whole cinema jump out of their skin (and make his sister drop him) and the story could go anywhere from here...
He sees the wrapped up bodies, well he hears them too, and helps one of them to half unwrap - a half dead character starts gasp
ing to him, but we can't tell what he said - maybe it was help, I can't remember - any who, he dies there and then and the brother (is it Kay or Jay? Hmmm), looks around to see all these maimed bodies - with stitched on heads, very plastic looking and not that authentic (they do look like display models...) all over the walls of this underground passage way - loads of them all over the place, kind of yuck, but ok...
Making his way to this flock of crow infested but otherwise deserted church, the brother meets up with his sister and do what they should have done when they saw those bodies get thrown down the pipe thing - get the hell out of there!
Anyway this person/driver of the weird BEATNG U truck, who we later find out only comes out to eat every 23 years, for 23 days (yeah, great eh), then has a personal vendetta with the brother (or sister...) and won' really let him go, as you'd find out if you were as misinformed about the film as I was and end up going to see it...
Ok, they manage to get to a cafe/service station and tell their story to the police, and ergh, the story stays the right side of scary for the moment until a phone rings in the cafe, asking for whatever the brother is called. What she tells him suggests she's a psychic, whom we do find out, and most importantly she tells him to get away as fast as he can when he hears the really old song "Jeepers Creepers".
Oh dear oh dear.
Another scene, this time at deranged cat loving woman's house sees her get killed by this mysterious character after she shoots him for standing in her garden - naturally he ends up crashing through her roof and holding her up by her neck.... lovely stuff, she dies, they escape but he starts to chase them. Oh and for that little bit of extra tension, their car conveniently has gear changing problems...Ok, they're totally freaked out by now, I'm half way through my 1 litre bucket of mint choc
chip ice cream and a group of girls in the corner of the cinema still won't shut up.
What happens next? You're in a car with your brother or sister, have no idea where to go, you've seen enough dead people for one day and an indestructible huge bloke with a healthy truck's after you...what do you do?
Run him over of course! That'll solve everything right? Well, they run him over several times just to make sure, and then drive off to a police station.
I think it's around this stage the film just becomes completely laughable - the bloke who's obviously got some kind of problem, or is just into speeding up people's lives, suddenly sprouts a wing. How fantastic! A wing. While some people might be thinking "what the hell is this creature, oooh what a scary film" the rest of us, if not all were feeling pretty gutted we forked out at least a fiver on this pile of trash - oh and what was the director thinking? Ok, so he flies away and now he's after them - some police get killed and we're now watching a state police station not know what to do, and we meet up with Mrs Psychic woman...
The story is completely mashed up from hear on - flying thing goes around eating everyone's organs and the brother and sister get told that it wants one of them - to eat or something...
After much unconvincing struggle, and confused plot the story does attempt to conclude - finally. The flying BEATNG U beast thing flies off with the brother out of a window in the police station, with the sister running off to chase them, not a good plan.
End scene - we see a kind of work shop, the Jeepers Creepers music probably starts up again, who really knows, and we see the brother, now not living sadly, oh and he has no eyes - is this because the flying beast thing knew what he had seen and didn't want him to tell anyone? Anyway - it ends with a shot of his eyeless face, with the beast t
hing behind it, with his eye peering through.
The end. I therefore conclude that this film is one of the stupidest I have ever seen, how it can be advertised as the scariest movie in America is beyond me, and I do not recommend this to anyone - it just goes beyond a joke. If the flying thing wasn't able to fly, oh and if there was actually a storyline then maybe, just maybe this film would have been good.
Ironically the acting isn't too bad, and the crows do give an excellent performance, but as a production, Jeepers Creepers sucks big time.
Thanks for reading, hope you aren't too disappointed,
Until next time,