last house, I wish I left (alone.). (Last House On The Left (DVD))

Member Name: giksy21

Product:	Last House On The Left (DVD)
Date:	30/04/09 (74 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Can't think of any

Disadvantages: Too many to mention.

To avoid fainting, keep repeating...... it's only a movie, it's only a movie, it's only a movie......

Once in a while, a movie is released that is so vile, so disturbing that it gets banned. These films turn out to be either masterpieces, or disasterpieces. Previous masterpieces include, the indecently surreal Clockwork orange, and the criminally disturbing Texas chainsaw massacre. But the good ones tend to be few and far between, and unfortunately this film is not one of them.

Human nature makes people want to see a film more because it was banned. You can't help it. You want to know, no, you need to know what this film did to be pulled from public release. Are there scenes of animal cruelty (a la, Cannibal Holocaust.)? Are there scenes of Extreme violence (Texas chainsaw.). Or, were they banned for having graphic scenes of almost everything imagineable (Salo.). As such, I have found myself on a crusade to watch as many of these 'banned' films as possible, to fulfill my bloodlust.

I picked up a copy of the infamous, Wes Craven classic ' Last house on the left; on Ebay for about a quid, now that they have reduced P&P on dvd's to nothing! So, I slipped it into the DVD player with great anticipation. My palms were sweaty, and I was genuinely excited at the prospect of watching the film. But how would it turn out in the end?


The truth is I don't know.... The end I mean.... I didn't see it. I couldn't stomach it. Not, rather unfortunately, because of the gore involved, or because of the way that it disturbs you. No, I was put off by the fact that the film was total and utter crap. I actually think that I deserve a medal for martyring through as far as I did.

Two girls are on their way to see a concert. They are seventeen, they are innocent. They get kidnapped, when trying to score some grass, by a gang of escaped cons. These cons spend the next day raping and abusing the girls, with crappy cut scenes of the keystone cops chasing them. Eventually, the fugitives end up staying at the parents of one of their victims, and the parents open a can of whoopass.

My plot paragraph is very short. There is a reason. There is very little plot. Very little plot, and incredibally poor acting. Scenes of rape should not induce the actor to have a face like they need a fart! At several points, due to the wooden acting, I thought I was watching a 70's porno (not that I know what they look like!).

By todays standards, the film is weak. There is very little reason to believe it was banned. There is no actual footage in the film, that is incredibly graphic. The film uses cut scenes, to allow you to think that the bad stuff is happening. Very little is seen on screen. One memorable scene, involves one of the girls watching the other being attacked. The scene cuts to her face, as she watches on in what should be terror, but is more a kind of lazy yawn.

I hope that I save you some money. Even the one pound I spent on Ebay was too much. The film no longer looks sharp. The acting is incredibally poor. Wes Cravens first effort, and definately not his best. I love this type of film, but fell asleep ten minutes before the end. That should tell you enough!

Don't waste your time, or money! G

Summary: Absolute crap.