Welcome, my pretties... (Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse Of The Black Pearl (DVD))

Member Name: dave27

Product:	Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse Of The Black Pearl (DVD)
Date:	30/11/03 (357 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Who cares, not Depp

Disadvantages: Depp

The sexiest man in the world ? a fella who found on screen fame as an elf ? and a sex interest with a fascination for girdles ? hmmmm, is this really the stuff of which dreams are made?

Sidepoint ? how the hell do you spell Caribbean/Carribean/Caribean? Who the hell cares?

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is a fun packed combination of adventure and comedy with the merest dab of horror about it ? it emanates from Buena Vista International, which as we all know is just a grown up (or dumbed down) version of Walt Disney?s movie empire, and is in the grand tradition of Disney (whatever that means), although it ain?t a remake of Blackbeard?s Ghost.

Bare facts culled from one of the many websites devoted to this film ? Synopsis: ?A tale of adventure set during the 17th Century in the Caribbean Sea. For the roguish yet charming Captain Jack Sparrow, the crystalline waters of the Caribbean, like the high seas the world over, present a vast playground where adventure and mystery abound. But Jack's idyllic life capsizes after his nemesis, the wily Captain Barbossa, steals his ship, the Black Pearl, and later attacks the town of Port Royal, kidnapping the Governor's beautiful daughter, Elizabeth Swann. Elizabeth's childhood friend, Will Turner, joins forces with Jack to commandeer the fastest ship in the British fleet, the HMS Interceptor, in a gallant attempt to rescue her and recapture the Black Pearl. The duo and their crew are pursued by Elizabeth's betrothed, the debonair, ambitious Commodore Norrington, aboard the HMS dauntless. Unbeknownst to Will, there is a curse that has doomed Barbossa and his crew to live forever as the undead--when exposed to moonlight, they are exposed to living skeletons. The curse they carry can be broken, only if a once-plundered treasure is restored.?

Rating PG-13, running 133 minutes, released September 2003, starring ? Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow, Geoffrey R
ush as Pirate Captain Barbossa, Orlando Bloom as Will Turner, Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Swann, Jack Davenport as Norrington and Jonathan Pryce as Governor Weatherby Swann, oh yes and Mackenzie Crook (Gareth Keenan from The Office) as a seedy pirate.

Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and directed by Gore Verbinski.

Right, now that the anorakists? hunger is sated, let?s get on with the dave27 show and give you some more interesting stuff, like whether this film is actually any good?

Kids will love it, parents will find it quite enjoyable and cynicals will satisfy themselves with spiky moaning about the over the top, faux drunk sleaze peddles by Johnny Depp, who attempts to dominate every second of the time he?s actually on screen, which is most of it. For my money, however, it?s the more understated menace of bumpy faced Geoffrey Rush which is more engaging and sleazy. Someone really should tell Our Johnny that less is always more in these cases and going as manically extreme as he does throughout the entire two hours is fraught with danger of becoming very irritating indeed.

Of course, he is very pretty indeed and dirty-attractive and this isn?t a subtle film.

Rush, however, is wonderful, even if he does go for stereotype pirate mode, complete with Har Har Me Hearties dialogue.

The make up, too, is pretty good and you can almost smell the BO and bad breath of the darker members of the ship?s crew.

Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley play the fate crossed lovers and they?re all simpering sweetness with just a hint of rough edges, but I hope they?re doing this with their tongues firmly lodged in their cheeks because if they?re serious then they?re being pretty bloody stupid.

You mustn?t take this film too seriously because if you do you?ll get really annoyed or disappointed, but if you take it as just a bit of nonsense then you?ll probably have a reasonably good time. It has some good bits and some
exciting moments and is well staged, although it won?t last long in the memory, although the special FX are pretty nicely worked with the transformation of the pirate crew into a bunch of walking skeletons under the moon?s glow quite believable (as these things go), although the people behind the film keep using the trick and are obviously extremely keen on demonstrating exactly how clever they are.

Johnny Depp?s been in some pretty good movies over the years, and also some of the weirdest, with things like Cry Baby and Edward Scissorhands and From Hell, and revels in playing dark nutsos who love walking on the edge, but he makes his rebel pirate with a heart of gold and dirty hands too overpowering to really gel. The fairer sex will love his runny eye liner make up and his dodgy beard and dreadlocks but those of us with a higher intellect will sigh at an opportunity lost.

At times, Depp is just plain embarrassing and convinced of his abilities ? he would have made a better contribution if someone had had the guts to put him in his place and tell him to calm down a bit.

Now, he?s so omnipresent in this movie that your view will be coloured by whether you like him or not, and even those who do like him (which I do, honest) will be put off and find it difficult to immerse themselves fully into what could have been a very enjoyable romp if it had been controlled properly.

As with many of this type of film, the idea and the trailers are much better than the realisation ? don?t let me put you off going to see it, but please don?t go expecting to see a masterpiece.

All that said, however, I still enjoyed myself and the kids loved it?

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