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Never take your boyfriend to watch it...
Planet Of The Apes  (DVD)
Member Name: The Dutty Hooer
Planet Of The Apes  (DVD)
Date: 03/12/01, updated on 03/12/01 (34 review reads)
Advantages: Mark Wahlberg looking very tasty, Get to piss off your boyfriend
Disadvantages: Very scary looking monkeys, Boyfriend thinks you're weird
Deciding to see this film on my first date with my current boyfriend turned out to be a HUGE mistake. Having had very fond memories of watching Planet of the Apes as a child, I thought the 2001 remake would be nothing short of amazing. How wrong could I be?
I raved on about the film so much during the run-up to the first showing, which is quite unusual for me seeing as I positively despise science-fiction films. I presumed that during the 30 year gap between the original and the re-make, advances in technology and resources would greatly improve the quality of the film...
... however, in 30 years, there isn't much to be done to improve the quality of the acting. Mark Wahlberg, despite being absolutely gorgeous in a spacesuit, is a bit wooden and seems to look slightly too young to appear as a supposedly fully-qualified astronaut. Also, in my opinion, Helena Bonham-Carter is completely miscast as a monkey and would be far better off sticking to her usual eccentric roles.
The story is disappointing when compared to the first film and although the ending is quite dramatic, I would have been a lot happier if they'd stuck to the original Statue of Liberty moment, when he realises he's been on earth all along. Crashing into a building isn't such a powerful picture.
The special effetcs are fairly well done, but I think the original is just as good when it comes to costumes, considering it was filmed in 1968. I was disappointed in the fight scenes as I'd heard these were fantastic. Also, the landscape was fairly limited and the whole of the land ruled by the apes seemed to be contained in one tiny village... not a lot of space considering how vast earth is.
Seeing the original version lots of times definitely helped me to understand the plot, I think had I not seen the first film, then I would have been at a bit of a loss as to understand exactly what was going on. Not a lot was explained about how the astrona
ut ended up where he did and then him actually trying to get off the planet by rebuilding the ship was just a bit stupid really.
Anyway, now I feel like a bit of a tit, because my boyfriend thought I was a complete psycho for persuading him to take me to see such utter crap (his words!!) Three months down the line and he still hasn't stopped teasing me about my taste in films and despite my love for the original film, he still refuses point blank to watch it. Philistine! But I must say, I do agree with him about the recent version. All I can say now is...
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE "BENEATH THE PLEANET OF THE APES" ALONE AND DON'T TRY AND MAKE ANY MORE!