Is The Disaster Movie Dead in The Water? (Poseidon (DVD))

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Product:	Poseidon (DVD)
Date:	09/06/06 (240 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Great special effects, relentless pace

Disadvantages: Leave your brain at the door please

It’s New Year’s Eve and on board the luxury cruise ship Poseidon, the passengers are enjoying the first class hospitality that the ship has to offer. As the clock strikes midnight, diners in the main ballroom raise their glasses for a New Year’s toast. In the ship’s disco, the younger passengers do the same.

On the bridge, the captain senses that something is wrong, and as he picks up his binoculars to look into the distance, he can barely believe his eyes. An enormous freak wave is hurtling towards the ship. Desperate to avert disaster, he sounds the alarm, as his crew tries desperately to turn the ship around. As the passengers scramble to find safety, the huge mass of water crashes into the side of the great liner, overturning it as though it were nothing but a toy. As the wave passes, the ship settles, completely upside down and as if to offer one final gesture of weakness, the power fails and the lights go out, one by one, floor by floor.

The surviving passengers are left trapped. Convinced that despite being overturned the main ballroom can provide a watertight refuge, the ship’s crew encourages everyone to stay put. But a small band of survivors, led by a card hustler, decides to try and make it to the top of the ship. As the watertight doors are sealed behind them, neither party yet knows whether they have made the right decision. One thing’s for sure, the great Poseidon holds a few nasty surprises for some (or should that be all) of them…….

Psychologically, I’m not always sure what the appeal of disaster movies is supposed to be, but horror movies aside, this genre must yield my favourite kind of movie. Sophistication, substance and reality all tend to take a running jump for the nearest emergency exit as cliché, schmaltz and one ridiculous set piece after another portrays mankind at its best. The 1972 original of The Poseidon Adventure is revered by many as one of the finest disaster movies ever made, with Gene Hackman and Ernest Borgnine at their absolute best within the stricken craft. Yet, 34 years later, in somebody’s infinite wisdom, it was felt that a remake would be a good thing and as summer blockbuster season reigned on, Poseidon appeared in cinemas worldwide.

Poseidon is a competent remake, combining the necessary ingredients for any film of its type with extravagant, stunning special effects. Having previously directed Das Boot and The Perfect Storm, German director Wolfgang Petersen certainly knows how to film a ship and having previously worked on Troy, he also has a fair idea of how to do an epic. From the outset, the scale and spectacle of the film is astounding. As the opening titles roll, the (completely computer-generated) Poseidon sails gracefully across still waters, the camera gradually panning into the ship’s enormous structure to reveal a lone man jogging round the deck. It’s hard to believe that you’re not actually watching footage of a real ship, and as you settle down for the ride, it quickly becomes apparent that if nothing else, this is going to be something of a spectacle.

And it truly is. With barely any time to introduce the (essential) key characters, all hell has broken loose. The “disaster” scenes, showing the rogue wave crashing into the ship seem somehow reminiscent of The Day After Tomorrow and have a similar effect. Passengers are tossed around, crushed, impaled and burnt alive like little rag dolls. The ship’s structure suffers terrible trauma; an internal lift shaft comes free from its fixtures, spilling its passengers out to certain death and crushing others underneath like insects. What was once a magnificent ball room now becomes a death trap, the high ceilings now resulting in certain death for scores of passengers as the ship rolls over like a wounded turtle. Violent death has never looked so, well, violent. Special effects have probably never been quite so special.

After such breathtakingly dramatic scenes, you might expect Poseidon to calm down a little bit, but to be honest, it never does. As action / disaster films go, this one is one of the most relentless that I have ever seen, with barely minutes for characters and audience alike to catch their breath before another dangerous set piece takes place. Plausibility was never a friend of disaster movies, and you’d be wise to leave your brain at the door. We know that the average person cannot hold their breath underwater for such vast periods of time. We know that constant immersion in cold sea water would at least induce some shivering and yet that beautiful lady in the soaking wet ball gown acts like she’s just stepped out of a hot bath. But these things and more we can forgive because the spectacle is so spectacular.

Amazingly, particularly for this genre, the lead characters are a fairly likeable bunch. There’s a former mayor (Kurt Russell) a little worn around the edges, and over protective of his daughter, but willing to come through for everyone. There’s the rogue (Josh Lucas), with his rough exterior that we know will yield a heart of gold. There’s a single mother (Jacinda Barrett) and her young son (Jimmy Bennett) plus the star struck teenage lovers (Mike Vogel (phwoargh!) and Emmy Rossum). Throw in the helpless stowaway (Mia Maestro) and a jilted lover (Richard Dreyfuss)and you somehow have a fairly interesting combination. It is true that at times, some of the characters wear a little thin. Josh Lucas is way too cheesy. Emmy Rossum is way too irritating and Jimmy Bennett is just a bit too adorable. But what the audience wants to see is human spirit, fighting against the odds. It’s supposed to make us feel good. And generally, in Poseidon, it does. You will root for the characters (well, most of them anyway) and you will be a little bit sad when some of them come to a grisly end. But Petersen will soon whisk you away into another dramatic situation before you can dwell on it for too long.

As a remake, however, Poseidon loses a little something along the way. The huge budget and daring set pieces somehow fail to leave any room for any style or substance. There’s something about those 70s disaster films that a modern film-maker simply cannot recreate. Kurt Russell completely lacks Gene Hackman’s charisma, and the effects are so polished that the ship even seems to eclipse the humans to become the star of the show. There’s nothing quirky or groovy about Poseidon. Despite there being something inherently strange about seeing Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas singing in a disaster movie, in your heart you know that it’s actually just a commercial move to give her an opportunity to sing a love song over the closing titles.

To be honest, I was very forgiving of these things though. In terms of sheer spectacle, Poseidon is one of the best “popcorn movies” that I’ve been to see for ages. At around the one and a half hour mark, it knows its limitations and gets in and out of your head quick.

Audience members looking for mental stimulation and thought-provoking drama should look elsewhere. But I wasn’t and I guess that’s why I really enjoyed this.

Recommended

Summary: A worthy remake for the CGI generation