Shit, I've Left Gordon's Foot on the Coach (Movie only) (Severance (DVD))

Member Name: marandina

Product:	Severance (DVD)
Date:	12/01/08 (128 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Decent Brit horror flick

Disadvantages: Run-of-the-mill stalk and slash

A group of British sales execs are on their way to a team-building weekend in Hungary. As the tv screens on the coach recycle promotional videos for Palisade Defense, the driver pulls up sharply, the road blocked by fallen trees. Refusing to take a detour down a narrower road running off at a tangent, the driver throws everyone off the bus and drives away. The stranded party set out in the general direction of their intended destination, eventually stumbling upon a run-down lodge which they assume is the one meant for their weekend. Reluctantly establishing themselves in their new home, the group speculate over dinner as to the history behind the lodge, with Jill (Claudie Blakley) suggesting that it was a centre for Russian war criminals.

With Harris (Toby Stephens) having found a cabinet with Palisade documents written in a foreign language and Jill subsequently spooked after seeing someone lurking in the trees, the group start to get nervous and agree to send a search party to try and find the coach driver. In the meantime, the rest of the party stay behind and embark on their team building exercises by playing paintball. As Gordon (Andy Nyman) steps back, his leg gets caught in a bear trap and as Harris and Jill return after finding the bloodied body of the coach driver stranded on waste ground, they look on in horror as the repeated attempts to free Gordon succeed only in severing his leg at the knee. Hurrying onto the coach, their desperate flight to freedom is cut short by a stinger devise draped across the road and they quickly realise that they are hunted prey by an unknown enemy.

"Severance" is a British horror flick, released in 2006, directed by Christopher Smith and co-written by Smith and James Moran. I was drawn into watching it by the billing that it was from the director of "Creep" (another low-budget horror flick from 2005 set on the London Underground). Whilst "Creep" was suitably dreadful, it did have its moments with occasional sequences of genuine inspiration and so I thought I'd pick up on director, Christopher Smith's latest efforts.

Well, in every way this has a low budget feel to it. Again, there are moments of ingenuity. Smith attempts to inject black humour throughout although this is overwhelmed at times by the blood and gore count. Steve's (Danny Dyer) attempts to squeeze the severed leg into the fridge on the coach, the scene shot from the back of the fridge, is original and the sight of him having to take the shoes and socks off the stray limb before wedging it in at an angle was something I hadn't encountered before. As Harris is walking along, defending the ethics of Palisade's weapons, he reflects on the more inhumane aspects of killing devises down the ages. Commenting on the fact that victims of the guillotine would not have been dead after the dreaded blade had fallen and would have been aware of their surroundings for up to 3 minutes after decapitation, ironically he suffers that very fate himself after having been thrown clear of the coach following the booby trap, dispatched by a machete. With a spinning shot of the view from his severed head, the detached body part comes to rest with a clear sight of his body. Macabre but original.

On the whole though, "Severance" is not a great movie. The acting is pretty woeful for the most part with a very tired looking Tim McInnerny taking the lead as Richard, the man in charge. It's virtually impossible to think of McInnerny without hearing Stephen Fry's raucous shouts summoning Captain Darling and the twitching, boot-licking character from the annals of Blackadder turning up. Richard is a lamentable, jelly of an individual and with no decent lines other than his faux pas about sending Harris and Jill up the hill, McInnerny is mainly restricted to feeble management cliché like "I can't spell success without "u". And you, and you, and you..." and so, when his does get his comeuppance, it's a blessed relief. Unfortunately, even Richard's demise is a bit tepid with some pathetic special effects enshrining the main lead being blown up by a land mine. The effect is all a bit cartoon and perhaps it's appropriate that he leaves the screen in such a flaccid manner.

As for the rest of the cast then the only one that manages to engender any empathy at all from the audience is the mushroom-taker Steve. With a cock-er-ney, geezer-like outlook and a glint in his eye, Danny Dyer does a reasonable job of getting us to like him with his penchant for drugs and the odd laddish quip and he's about the only one I found myself rooting for to survive the onslaught from the balaclava wearing maniacs stalking in the woods. Quite why the paramilitary looking outfit, armed to the teeth with machine guns and with an unlimited supply of machetes and knives, have such a big problem with this arms company is never made overly clear, just as taking a road running in a different direction by the company suckers when their map shows that the main road and the country road (which is clearly more creepy) join up again later on looks distinctly odd. Personally, I would have just stepped over the obstructive tree trunks and marched down the main road, hoping to encounter a Shell service station selling sandwiches and the odd bit of petrol. Needless to say, nobody can get a mobile phone signal at any stage (the stock in trade of the horror flick) although Maggie (Laura Harris) does find a phone in a disused building whilst trying to flee the Ker-azees trying to kill her after having survived several rape attempts and demolishing a bad man's head with a large rock, only to be put on hold by some Hungarian operator who clearly doesn't understand the lingo.

With a run time of just 91 minutes and an 18 certificate, "Severance" is a horror film for adults only. With a daft script, ludicrous plot and enough inventive slaughter to turn this into a respectable gore-fest, "Severance" is worth a watch, if only to plot director Christopher Smith's progress since "Creep". Brownie points for attempting black humour, thumbs up for some inventive set pieces but, ultimately, this is a run-of-the-mill, low budget horror to while away an odd hour and a half too. Quite frankly, I enjoyed it in the same masochistic way that I enjoyed "Creep"; Smith seems to be establishing a groove.

Thanks for reading

Mara

DVD available at Amazon from £4.98

Summary: Overview of movie