Sex in the Cinema (Sex and the City: The Movie (DVD))

Name: ryanando

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Product:	Sex and the City: The Movie (DVD)
Date:	10.06.08 (143 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Great fix for SATC addicts

Disadvantages: Not yet out on DVD

Did you know that the average adult males bladder can hold around 600-800cm3 of urine? The urge to go pee usually kicks in at about 150-300cm3 capacity. Did you know that a large drink from Odeon Cinemas consists of (I'm guessing here) about 750cm3? No? Well, now you have something to think about. And I suggest you think hard!

---0cm3---

An hour before the film, me being me, called my friend to ask how dressy she was going to be at the cinema. She, being her, replied "er...I've got jeans and a t-shirt, I've dripped pasta on it and might not change it. It's the bloody cinema!" She made sense. It's going to be dark!! No one will care!

Upon arriving at the cinema I was struck by something very odd. After I told my friend to stop hitting me with a llama, I also noticed that the audience waiting to see this film was made up mainly of women. Not just any kind of women though! Well dressed women! I suddenly felt I had missed out on a good excuse to get dressed up. Thankfully I had managed to convince my friend to take her pasta t-shirt off and at least try going for that "washed" look. She pulled it off quite well.

As we awaited the picture to start, I counted the men who were in the screen with us. I got to 3 and decided to add myself just to make up the numbers. Man number 1- Me: homosexual. Man number 2: Richard, a guy I know, who we randomly bumped into, also a flaming mo. Man number 3: Someone who looked like he would kill puppies just for a laugh. Man number 4: A rather large, sweaty man who spent his time trying to engage the ushers in conversation and who looked like he had seen this same film five times already today. Hmm.

---50cm3---

By the time all the women and gays had taken their seats, I was bored. They pushed the start of the film back a bit because it was so busy. Hmf to Odeon! We had already powered our way through half the popcorn and a little juice. I wanted my film. Thankfully, it did eventually start. We begin with a quick little run down of who the main characters are and what their stories have been. Sort of like a "what happened last week on SATC" but in movie style. A great little catch up for the fans and a little bit of back story for any of the men who have been duped into going with their girlfriend/wife/mother. Can't leave the heathens in the dark after all!

The film has stuck roughly to the time line, set 5 years since we last saw the girls. (it's been 4 and a half, but who's counting?) All the girls are back with all of their men, which made me quite happy. All the people we know and love are back with a new face thrown in here and there. And then everything goes tits up. What were you expecting? Two and a half hours of girls talking about how happy they are??

---100cm3---

The scene is now set, Carrie and big are looking for an apartment and thinking about getting married. After possibly the most unromantic proposal in the history of proposals, they start planning an itsy bitsy wedding. Which, as is to be expected, explodes into some huge affair with designers hanging out of the rafters and dresses that you are ashamed to look at till the Vera Wang tag pops out.

---150cm3---

The story moves at quite a nice pace until about half way in. There are some real tear jerking moments and shocks to be had from all of the girls (which I will not spoil for you). One of the best thing about this movie is the strange feeling that you are watching T.V. with hundreds of your friends. Apart from the fat guy in the corner. He gate crashed. If you don't appreciate people talking, laughing, nudging or generally being alive in the cinema while you try to watch your movie, you may want to wait on this one to come out on DVD. Which it better. In saying that, I take a rifle to the cinema (in my mind) and there is usually quite a high body count by the end of even the most innocent film. In fact, the more innocent the film, the higher the body count...damn kids. HOWEVER! This film didn't bug me too much. It manages to create quite a comfy atmosphere and there's plenty time to laugh your little ass off at any funny moments without missing what they say next.

---200cm3---

I hit a point half way in where I started to notice how much I needed to go to the loo. Being stubborn, I ignored it. I am not paying £4.50 (the joy of accidentally still holding on to a student card) and then missing the film just because I couldn't hold it. So hold it I did! This is also where the story starts to move a little slower. Not an incredibly bad thing, but it did make me wonder if they may have been better giving us SATC fans a few extended special episodes to sink our teeth into.

---300cm3---

During the dip in the movie, I began drinking more out of lack of stuff to make me go "OMG" at the top of my voice. I was incredibly uncomfortable and thought about just weeing in the seat. I didn't. At least I don't think I did...hmm...Anyway! After the slight slow down, the film then goes into overdrive, jumping between the girls like...well...something that jumps between girls. It wasn't that bad but again had me giving the writers a stern telling off in my head. I only forgave them a little when they started throwing some brilliant nudie scenes for Sam's incredibly hot neighbour. I was drooling a little. Ok... a lot.

---450cm3---

The end of the film. Finally. Loved it and everything but by this point I was in severe pain and urine was starting to spray from every orifice. The ending was very fitting of the changes that happened throughout the movie but I still feel they could have done more with this.

---500cm3---

Finally they let us out and god knows what was showing in the other screen, but it must have been testosterone city as the toilets were full. I ran to my car believing I could get home quicker than standing in the line for the loo. As I left I held the door open for Man Number 3 who called after me "OOO THANKTH HONEY" in possibly the gayest manner I've ever witnessed. Looks like those puppies are safe.

Over all the film was fantastic. It is like giving an addict their fix though. Even if it was crap, its going to be better than nothing right? There were a few happenings in the story that I wasn't too pleased with and, as mentioned previously, I think they could have spent a bit more time on some of the ideas they threw forward by giving us some extended episodes rather than a movie. The humour was well up to standard and had me and my 100 new friends laughing our heads off throughout, balanced with some real jaw dropping moments (that inevitably had us suck the air from the room, creating a vacuum in the screen next door) the writers, despite their rush to cram everything into one rather long movie, done well for themselves.

Great for fans of SATC, better for perverts who want to masturbate in the corner of the cinema and no doubt, the best for whatever film company had the good sense to release it. Go watch.

(also on ciao)

Summary: A rather long, but funny Sex and the City film