I'd Rather Have a Solero (Solaris [2002] (DVD))

Member Name: buttonman

Product:	Solaris [2002] (DVD)
Date:	04/03/03 (179 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Relatively short, Nap Time!

Disadvantages: Dull, What's going on?, Who cares?

Since I was given a UGC Unlimited pass at Christmas I've seen 14 films, and 'Solaris' is the worst of the lot - and that includes 'I-Spy'!

When you don't pay for the cinema ticket you generally see a lot of films you wouldn't normally go to. 'Punch Drunk Love' and 'The One and Only' are two that I've seen recently that I found to be both enjoyable and rewarding. Indeed when I slope back to the office having abused the flexi time I normally pronounce my latest distraction as 'Alright' - giving me the reputation of having cloth eyes. But not 'Solaris' it's rotten!

To establish its stinkiness I'd normally go through what was missing for me. At the risk of sounding like a Philistine I'd say this missed almost all of the things that make up a good film. So, in no particular order this film lacked tension, excitement, car chases, horror, laughs, mystery, fist fights, goggle eyed aliens, gun fights, ray guns, nakedness (excluding George's furry bum), swearin...Oh what's the point the film scholars will just regurgitate the Guardians review commenting that the lack of anything going on was a clever device to show the solitude of the central character.

PLOT

The film opens on a miserable looking future (is there any other kind?) with gorgeous George Clooney making appointments and the tea. Although not mentioned in the film we are aware that he is a widower from the pre-publicity. After cutting his finger whilst chopping a courgette (remember that!) he gets a call offering what to me sounded like a suicide job - go to a spaceship which has lost communications and report back. Despite the Special Forces also going missing George mysteriously agrees.

After a few fancy spaceship shots he is on board the ship which is orbiting the titular planet. Lots of gore meets him and he can only locate two survivors at first although a small boy later shows up too
. The survivors soon get annoying, so after flashing his bum George gets into his space age bed with the silver sheets. Soon things look up as George is joined by a lovely lady whom the frequent flashbacks reveal to be his late wife. Less than impressed George chucks her into an escape pod and into space. Not getting the message she's soon back mirroring similar experiences endured by the crew.

Clearly all is not right, with the flashbacks, metaphors and double talk masking any prospect of a clear coherent plot. Eventually the crew works out how to zap the facsimiles of their former chums but George is starting to take to his...

THOUGHTS

I like to think I'm slightly above dim, but this film had me foxed - I simply didn't get it. There are constant flashbacks and moody, knowing stares. People turn up dead and we wonder who is real and for what purpose. Is the planet benign and sending healing spirits or is it bent on creating it's own race? Several sci-fi plots were lifted with the 'Bladerunner' is he isn't he? ending lifted intact.

The sets and '2001' style space scenes apart I found this film had almost nothing to redeem it. It's knowingly vague with no explanation or conclusion. People will say that you have to make up your own mind, but I for one do like some sort of closure a sense that a tale has been told, not some limp meandering space soap.

Different?, Daring? - Nah, Pretentious and Void of interest and entertainment. See it if you fancy a nap - I nearly dozed of twice...

Summary: