...and now a word from William Shatner... (Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (DVD))

Member Name: vernonpresley

Product:	Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (DVD)
Date:	29/12/07 (18 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: All of the regular cast return

Disadvantages: Erm, everything else

William Shatner, circa 1988:

"I'm fed up. Star Trek was meant to be MY series, MINE. I was the star. First billed. I was the one who was meant to get all of the girls and who the series was meant to be based around. But instead that SOB Leonard Nimoy got too much credit. Just for sticking on some pointy ears and pretending to have no emotions. When the show finished he got straight onto a starring role on Mission Impossible, and I got to do hardly anything and even had to live out of my car for awhile. I was meant to be the star. I was meant to be the one who'd get work as a lead on another show straight away, but no, Nimoy gets it. I have to wait until the 80s to get another successful TV show, TJ Hooker. And that was rubbish.

"OK, so finally we get to make a film in the late 1970s. It was meant to be a new TV show and Nimoy wasn't going to do it, but once it became a film he came on board. Well there's a surprise, a chance for higher exposure in a film of course.

"Then he only agrees to come back for the second film if he gets killed off because he doesn't want to play the role anymore.

"Then he only agrees to come back for the third film if he gets to direct.

"Then he only agrees to come back for the fourth film if he gets to direct and come up with the story.

"Well now its my turn. I want to direct. I want to come up the story. Oh bugger, I can't think of anything. I know, let's have Kirk and his crew meet God, or at least someone pretending to be God, that always seemed to work in the old series.

"Nimoy'll want to have something worthwhile to do or he won't come back. I don't care, I don't want him back, this is meant to be MY series. Ah well, I guess the audience probably won't come if he's not there, the fools. Let's give him a brother then. That's right - audiences have known this character for over 20 years, but they'll swallow a brother that they never knew about.

"What about the rest of the cast? Well they don't matter, let's not give them much to do, they're not important anyway. Oh hang on a minute, let's have 50-odd-year-old Nichelle Nichols do a flirty semi-naked dance in silhouette on a ridge. Yeah, that'll bring the young lads in to the theatre. Stupid fools.

"Special effects? Damn, the studio haven't given me much money to make the film. Never mind, let's make the special effects out of papier mache where we can, that'll save some money. The audience'll never know the different between good effects and bad effects. It's Star Trek - they'll come anyway.

"What? You'll only let me direct 1 film? But Nimoy directed 2. It's not fair. I'm going to throw a tantrum. Oh, it's not going to work? OK then, I'll just make a rubbish movie, that'll show you..."

...and so he did.

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I have posted this review on ciao under the username phurren2006

Summary: ...this ends the word from William Shatner...