98% Jar-Jar Free! (Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (DVD))

Member Name: buttonman

Product:	Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (DVD)
Date:	26/05/02 (76 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Not much Jar-Jar

Disadvantages: Still some

Having stated in my 'Crown' opinion that writing about a popular item is a waste of time due to the number of other opinions here we are at the Star Wars page scribbling the 37th opinion thus far. Well, if you can’t beat 'em etc...

I won't rattle on about the plot' suffice it to say it's similar in scope and in it's themes to the previous four. The soppy kid who grows up to be Darth Vader is now a surly yoof under the tutorige of Ewan McGregor who will grow up to be Alec Guinness. He's a bit lippy and there are some pretty blatant hints that the dark side is taking over. Typically a woman will lead to his downfall as he gives up the Jedi vow of chastity to knock boots with Padme the former queen of Naboo.

Meanwhile the baddies are stockpiling robots whilst a furtive Jedi is producing clone soldiers. Naturally they have a big scrap at the end leaving the way clear for the supposedly final chapter.

Rather than drone on about this and that I thought I'd use up my spare bullet points and list the pros and cons of this exercise. Spoiler alerts aplenty as I'll spoil it for any unwary reader.


Things that were good
=====================

 The opening chase sequence was great. Obi Wan and Anakin chase a would be assassin through a spectacular cityscape. The pace was frantic and the stunts excellent.
 The Sand people show up!
 So do the Jawas!
 Jar-Jar Binks only appears in an unwelcome cameo. I still can't make out a blind word he says
 Super cool Boba Fett appears as a child, along with dad Jango who dies a bit too easy for my liking. Similar to Boba's unspectacular demise in 'The Return of the Jedi'
 The final battle between the Jedis and clones against a robot army was great although the cavalry had to show up twice.
 Christopher Lee was great as the former Jedi turned baddie. H
e looked daft riding his speeder and fighting with a Muppet but seemed to be enjoying it none the less.
 I don't usually like the droids but there was a funny sequence where C3PO's head gets swapped with a robot's.
 The special effects were excellent although they should've got a stunt man for some of the acting scenes!
 The space chase was good and I like Obi Wan using the stick to debris trick that wouldn’t fool Boba Fett in 'The Empire Strikes Back'

Not good things
===============

 I hate that bloody Yoda! Is there a more annoying character in movies? No! Put your words in the right order you goddarnned Muppet! Annoying I shall be!
 Speaking of the Muppet he walks with a stick and then flies around in a light sabre battle. I think someone should tell the social!
 The plot is a bit confusing. In the first three films the storm troopers were the bad guys. Here the similarly appointed clone warriors were on the Jedi side. I know the dark side will take over and the rebellion will then fight back but I bet a lot of explaining will have to be done on the way home. To me mainly.
 Jar-Jar turns up in two scenes and has been made a senator. He's harder to understand than Bugs Bunny and is twice as annoying.
 The star-crossed lovers didn't really click for me. As the galaxy is on the brink of war the two spotty yoofs romp through the daisies. Nice or sick bucket - you know which!
 Although the opening sequence was good it seemed daft they chase the assassin for twenty minutes but when she gets killed our boys don't even think of chasing her killer.
 It always rained on the cloner's planet. I didn't know we had a cloning industry in Scotland!
 The robot factory sequence was pretty annoying. As they darted through all the stampers and cutters it looked like a video game which i
s what it will doubtlessly become.
 All the sand people get killed!
 Some of the reference to the earlier films were a bit hamfisted. Old Chris Lee holds up blue prints and wouldn't you know it it's a death star! Similarly when Obi Wan says, "you’ll be the death of me" to Anakin you could hear the groans down the street. And the shadow of Anakin which looked as if he had Darth’s helmet on was clumsy too!
 Those battle droids are rubbish. You never see them hit anything!
 If that Jango Fett is so good why does he use weapons only found on a secret cloning planet? Not much of a clue there to my whereabouts!
 If you want to assassinate a senator what do you use? Death ray? Poison gas? No, of course you use a couple of big worms. Fancy that not working!
 The bad guys have their three mortal foes in their hands. Do they kill them? No they tie them to posts and lets big animals wander towards them. Escape proof? I think not Mr Bond!


Having noted the pros and cons I'm surprised it's more con than pro. It is easier to knock and the film was very good. Light years better than 'Phantom Menace' but not quite 'Empire Strikes Back'. A return to form indeed and hopefully this will be maintained for the grand finale. Two years to go!

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