Yub Nub! (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (DVD))

Member Name: clownfoot

Product:	Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (DVD)
Date:	11/10/07 (277 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: It's Star Wars!

Disadvantages: You're having a giraffe, right?

STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE

5 Stars - Genius! End of review.

What? You need more? But what else is there to say about the starting point of George Lucas' behemoth franchise that hasn't already been said? Countless polls have already established that Darth Vader is the biggest bad arse ever to set foot on celluloid; the Star Destroyer thundering into view over Tattoine is one of cinema's greatest opening sequences; the Millennium Falcon is the coolest ship ever to do the Kessel run in five parsecs; lightsabers; blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The pursuit of originality when attempting to review a film that regularly features in the top ten's of "Best Film Ever" polls is nigh on impossible, meaning that I'll simply regurgitate what a billion monkey's with a billion typewriters have already said about Star Wars during the last thirty years. From Leia's bagel shaped ear-muffs, to Han shooting Greedo first, to the comedy stormtrooper who fails to duck under the blast door; in all seriousness, do you really want to hear all that gubbins again? You do! Bunch of mindless gibbons...

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, (Originality raises a lightsaber to its heart and proves it's no match for a blaster at the slow, painful death that follows) the Rebel Alliance, led by Princess Leia, is losing an Intergalactic Civil War against a tyrannical Imperial government in the process of building the ultimate weapon - the Death Star. Defeat is compounded by the loss of the Death Star plans - stolen by the rebels - on the planet Tatooine with two idiot Droids not on complete speaking terms. The end of the Alliance seems nigh. However, Nazi poster boy and upcoming Luftwaffe pilot, Luke Skywalker, picks up the Droids, finds Obi Wan Kenobi to learn about 'the force' and purchases a lift from a scruffy looking nerf herder and a walking carpet to the Death Star all in the name of kick-arse adventure. Mostly because Luke decides that farming on a barren desert planet sucks balls, but also because Princess Leia needs saving from the hands of arch-magician Darth Vadar, the Death Star needs to be photon torpedoed before the Rebel base on Yavin 4 is completely decimated and the path of a Jedi Knight awaits. Only by dodging Darth Vadar's bronchitis and the blaster shots of deadly accurate imperial stormtroopers (stop the laughing at the back) will the rag-tag band of Luke, Han, Chewbacca and Obi-Wan save the Galaxy. There's also some cool stuff featuring lightsabers.

And so the space opera was born. Whilst director George Lucas happily borrowed from Kurosawa films - Hidden Fortress mostly, by the characters Matakishi and Taihei whom R2-D2 and C-3PO represent - and The Dam Busters amongst others, their influence has little bearing on the setting and the plotting of the script. A story of good verses evil, based within a moralistic universe represented by the strange powers inhibited by the force, it transcends the political nature of the similar space themed Star Trek to provide a more fantastical environment for children's imaginations. When you add hulking space cruisers, blasters and, crucially, lightsabers, you have enough action set-pieces than you could throw a Jawa at, keeping all hugely entertained and awe-struck.

Often criticised for having clunky dialogue, if you're going to watch Star Wars to moan about gems like "flying through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops boy" (a line Harrison Ford even questioned Lucas about) then you're obviously watching the wrong film. Forget the dialogue and instead enjoy the wonderful seventies mullets on show from a cast of nobodies; some cracking performances, despite the script, from Alec Guiness and Peter Cushing who Lucas called in to give the film an air of respectability; the cracking effects by Industrial Light and Magic that even to this day do not need further airbrushing; some barnstorming space craft designs - the Millennium Falcon, X-Wing and Tie Fighters have still never been bettered; and the rather marvellous music from John Williams that has become synonymous with the film. From the brilliance of the Mos Eisley Cantina tune to the original "ta-da" as the Star Wars emblem blasts onto the screen at the beginning of the movie, it's unlikely that there is any theme music as memorable.

Perhaps, there in lies Star Wars' real success. It just has far too many scenes that are simply highly memorable. There's that little spark of genius contained within that just attached itself to contemporary society and for the last thirty years has refused to let go and allow the audience forget. Sure, the bandwagon monkey's will point out the money making extras such as the Mattel toys, Star Wars Lego, the vast number of computer games, books and comics and the various special editions that Lucas pilfers the market with has certainly enhanced the Star Wars universe into the echelons of film history, but this systematically discounts those sequences that fans go back for time, after time, after time. For instance, everyone remembers the first line by C-3PO (for the uninitiated it's "Did you hear that?"). Everyone coo's with delight the first time Obi-Wan draws his lightsaber and in a flash has whipped off the arm of one of Mos Eisley's Cantina's less favourable customer's. Indeed everyone remembers his mate as well, the guy with a bum for a mouth! Everyone also remembers the rescue of Princess Leia and the tense sequence as our heroes are almost crushed in a trash compactor. Audiences don't often forget that Porkins is the best name you could ever have given an X-Wing pilot! And surely everyone remembers the wonderful drone The Tie Fighters make as they do a fly by?

So, in an attempt to say something original about the film that no previous critic has yet immortalised in words, I'm happy to confirm that due to the memorable nature of Star Wars there is no better film to stick on whilst doing the ironing! Seriously, as you steam the creases out of your shirt sleeves you can quote happily away to the daft dialogue ("That's no moon. It's a space station."), whilst Luke feels the force flying blind and sticks it to the Empire. You can apply a bit of water before smoothing the edges of a trouser leg whilst Han mugs off Leia for wearing croissants over her ears and Chewie gives a low disagreeable roar for being referred to as a walking carpet. And as you adjust the settings to wool for the jumper your mother-in-law brought you for Christmas, you can relive Obi Wan doing one in the hope that he won't be remembered for spouting ridiculous dialogue above the quality stuff in the Bridge on the River Kwai and the Ladykillers. And that's still without mentioning the fantastic, even after all these years, final attack on the Death Star and the wonderful Dambusters styled trench run, which is exactly the way all bombastic and action fuelled space romps should end. Makes doing the ironing a joy...

The fact that pale imitators (Battlestar Galacticar, Battle Beyond the Stars, The Phantom Menace, The Star Wars Christmas Special... sweet jesus!) have followed and flattered to deceive, that Jedi has become a legitimate answer for religious upbringing in census surveys and that this film is the single-most reason why Bill Bailey is the funniest person on the planet (think "the force is strong in this one" but in a Cornish accent) stand enough to reason to account for Star Wars brilliance. If you've been living under a rock for the last thirty years you now have no excuse not to get round to watching Star Wars. If you're still under the impression that it's a kids film, you now have no excuse not to get round to watching it. If you still refuse to watch it just to be an irritable goomba, Vadar will be popping round in a bit to force grip you to a slow agonising death. For all your Hobbit needs (Jawa's are Hobbits in a galaxy, far, far away) you can do little wrong than watch Star Wars again...


Overall - Vic and Bob, in an episode of daft celebrity quiz show Shooting Stars, participated in a sketch which ended with Obi-Wan shoving a lightsaber up Luke's arse whilst Han Solo sang and danced "Can you feel the force? Can you feel the force?" It's only in iconic moments which transcend into television spoof like this that you can truly measure the effect of Star Wars' far reaching brilliance.


Availability - Jesus on a moped. Star Wars is everywhere. If it's not on Amazon then I'm a poo-flinging chimp. Saying that though, it depends on which version you wish to watch. The original of the Holy Trilogy untouched by flashy graphics, without the additional Jabba the Hut scene and the inclusion of Han shooting Greedo first is of course the better version to invest in, but is likely to be more expensive as it's only just been released on DVD. The special editions, whilst cheaper, don't add all that much as Lucas' definitive version, but if you're someone who likes "the pretty lights" it's certainly better than the crap in Independence Day. Models of X-Wing versus Tie Fighter's or CGI F-16's vs rubbish Alien ships? Like I said, Independence Day is crap...

Director: George Lucas

Screenplay: George Lucas

Cast:

Mark Hamill ... Luke Skywalker
Harrison Ford ... Han Solo
Carrie Fisher ... Princess Leia Organa
Peter Cushing ... Grand Moff Tarkin
Alec Guinness ... Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi
Anthony Daniels ... C-3PO
Kenny Baker ... R2-D2
Peter Mayhew ... Chewbacca
David Prowse ... Darth Vader (yes, David is the Green Cross Code Man and is in possesion of a thick Bristolian accent - which is why Lucas did the right thing and got James in to not make the biggest bad arse in the galaxy not have quite a silly accent).
James Earl Jones ... Darth Vader (voice)

Rating: U

Running Time: 121 minutes

Genre: Action/Adventure/Fantasy/Sci-Fi

© clownfoot, October 2007.

Summary: It's Star Wars!