Newest Review: ... of the sneaky scenes. I'd watched this movie not to long ago, and i'd recently seen Taken 2, Yesterday in fact. But i'd recommend that if... more
Crash, bang, whallop
Taken  (DVD)
Member Name: ryanando
Taken  (DVD)
Advantages: Cute men like it
Disadvantages: not anything youll notice too much
Having been back from holiday for just over two weeks, In true Ryan style I had managed to get myself utterly stressed up to the hilt, almost cancelling out any relaxing effects the sunshine had had on me. I had the remnants of a very poor tan and half a bottle of ouzo in a rather provocative container to show for my efforts. Bah bloody humbug to it all.
The main cause of my stress is my current letting agency (I feel a scathing review in their future by the way). Long story short they screwed up big style and now I have just over 20 days to find somewhere new to live with a giant possibility of loosing £450 in the process. How handy considering my Christmas shopping was about to start. Yes, I know I'm organised. It's so if crazy crap like this happens I don't need to worry. Pft. Not worry. Yeah right.
In an attempt to relax myself, I decided I should invite the cute guy I've been after since that Jimmy Chungs incident to the cinema. (see earlier review on Jimmy Chungs for the details) Great idea. I can tell you now I haven't been worried about him cancelling on me all week at all. Hell I didn't even worry when I showed up late-ish and he wasn't there. And all that not worrying was made worth it when he arrived literally half a minute after me. I feel giddy!
---Too many people---
Loaded up with ammunition to fire at my best friend who has no faith in the cute guy, I merrily went about my way, prancing (on the inside since it's not too impressive to prance on a date type thing) into the cinema with a giant goofy grin on my face. Well I can't hide ALL my emotions!
We begin with Liam Neeson (the voice of Aslan in the Narnia films and generally one of those guys you will recognise but never remember where from) Aka: Bryan, sitting in a chair thinking fondly of his daughters birthday and me sitting in my chair thinking of fondling the cute guys leg. I didn't. I was good.
The next ten to fifteen minutes are used pretty much to set the whole story up. Bryan used to be a government employee, but not the kind who sit and take calls from the undeserving public all day. The kind who carry a gun and the knowledge of how to kill people in hundreds of fun ways. He gave it all up so he could be nearer his now 17 year old daughter, Kim (Shannon from lost - Maggie Grace - looking much younger) , the mother of which is Jean Gray from the X-men. You may know her as Famke Janssen. So now that we have met the worlds most dysfunctional family (I won't even ponder as to how Aslan got Jean Gray knocked up and produced an incestuous daughter) the fun really begins.
By the point all the introductions were done, I was getting a little bored. I even yawned a couple of times. I could tell Mr Cute wasn't enjoying it too much either. And then the film went crazy. After convincing her daddy to let her go live in Paris, she lasts a whole hour or five before the metaphorical hit's the proverbial. Or something like that.
Jolting you out of your seat, Kim's new house is raided by a bunch of unknown men dead set on kidnapping her and her little friend too. Possibly the most chilling moment I've seen this week and I saw some really old people kissing last night! If I gave out awards, I'd give one to this kidnap scene. Full of suspense, fear and nail biting tension, made ten times eerier by Neesons stupendously calm character at the other end of a distress phone call.
---Boys Are Back In Town---
From this point the film takes a tremendous turn on its heels and starts running towards you in a crazed manner. Bryan is now a man on a mission and, calling upon some old buddies, quickly puts his skills to use in tracking his daughter. It soon becomes apparent that there really is no Effing with this guy and getting away with it. I am going to marry him one day.
One by one, Bryan tracks down those involved in his daughters disappearance. The further he digs, the thicker the plot gets. A very strong undercurrent of evil runs right through every level of society in this brilliant picture, manifesting in kidnapping, forced prostitution, drugging and corruption.
---Versions of Violence---
Rather fantastically, the man has no sympathy. Neither do the writers for that matter. Even the characters that have the lucky escape technique of being able to outrun Neeson meet their demise in a bitter but ever so justified shower of pain. I sound like Mr T. Each person he found, I imagined to be an employee of my letting agency. It felt good seeing them all being beaten, shot, electrocuted, ran over, punch, kicked, snapped and generally torn limb from limb. As if to make me feel even better, the cute guy let out a small giggle every time one of the bunch of buggers got a whack from Neeson.
---I Want to Kill You---
To be honest, there's not many twists. There are no huge revelations. It's a very linear film. Don't let this dissuade you though. The action and suspense is masterfully built up and maintained throughout. Throw in that everyone who deserves it gets exactly what is coming to them, it's a great film to watch when you are in the mood to go out and commit mass homicide. Neeson perfectly portrays the incredibly calm Bryan, while Grace plays his slightly annoying but quite loveable daughter flawlessly. The performances are what make this film better than your run of the mill "You Kill My Father, NOW I KILL YOU!!" type film. Each performance is suitably chilling and the moments where everyone's doing the "OH MY GOD MY DAUGHTERS BEEN KIDKNAPPED SOB SOB BOO HOO!!" part are brilliantly believable.
One small criticism would be of the soundtrack. It is small because I am unsure of whether it is the fault of the cinema or if the music is just crazy. Occasionally (and always when no one was speaking so I could tell if it was just the music) the sound sounded like the tape had wound loose. It was irritating, but considering the only sound track was an eerie piano and not songs you would sing along with, it's hardly noticeable.
---I keep forgetting---
So that's all I'm giving you for this incredibly short review. The film is worth it. I am too stressed to think of anything else for you to devour. One word of warning though: you may forget you are with someone when you become too engrossed in the ass kicking action. Not the best film if you were planning on some plain old ass action. But bloody well worth it!
(also on ciao)
Summary: A great beatem up for selling your daughter to the sex trade type movie