* Prices may differ from that shownMore Offers
note: also appears in part on Flixster and The Student Room
The future of horror seems to lie firmly in comedy these days - the likes of Shaun of the Dead and Severance really opened the door to filmmakers who wanted to meld gore with laughs, and the last few years has seen a spate of these sorts of films, most of them surprisingly good. The problem is that genuine horror has been so overdone that if it's too self-serious, it just isn't convincing, but if something just goes off the rails and runs with it, it can actually work rather well, as evidenced by The Cottage.
The film opens as David and Peter (Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith), kidnap Tracey (Jennifer Ellison), who is the daughter of an infamous mob boss. They take her to a cottage, where they hold her ransom, but they don't count on the cottage being attacked by a gang of undesirables, most of all a psychopathic murderer known only as The Farmer. All Hell breaks loose, and the blood (and body parts) start flying.
It's a loony and rather wild ride indeed, with plenty of gore and chuckles to be had. I expected very little from the film, but despite a very low budget, it delivers some inventive kills, and nifty effects to boot. Also, things don't end as you might expect them to, and I sure was surprised a few times at the fates of various characters. Also, the ending is a real kicker that screams "sequel!", but whatever the cause, it ends on a clever note. Andy Serkis is notably quite impressive as one of the lead kidknappers - up until now he's had very similar "soft" roles in Peter Jackson films, and here, he lets loose, showing that he can play a living, breathing villain as well as the CGI-laden Gollum from Lord of the Rings.
Few will expect much from The Cottage, yet with an outstanding turn from Andy Serkis, as well as a wealth of styled blood-letting, it is an unpredictable, highly enjoyable breath of fresh air.
In the Cottage David (Andy Serkis) and his brother Peter (Reece Shearsmith) kidnap the daughter of a powerful gangster, Tracey (Jennifer Ellison). They take her to a remote cottage and then phone her father asking for a ransom to be delivered by her step brother Andrew (Steven O'Donnell). Andrew doesn't check what is in the bag before he delivers it but is followed by two Chinese hit men hired by Tracey's father. When the kidnappers discover that there is no money David has to drive to the local village to demand it again where he is warned not to venture outside by the locals and keep all doors locked. On his return he discovers Peter and Tracey have disappeared and Andrew unconscious on the floor. They must venture out to find them whilst avoiding the horror in the woods.
When looking at the cast I really didn't think I would like this film. Andy Serkis is most famous for playing Gollum in Lord of the Rings and Jennifer Ellison has not done much since Brookside. However I felt the script really helped out the actors and Andy Serkis was a delight to watch in this film.
You can tell the film had a fairly low budget not just from the fairly unknown cast. However this is used to the films advantage and it will keep you watching till the end. It is defiantly one of the best British horror films out there
However this film really is not for the faint hearted and there is some pretty graphic violence towards the end. I enjoyed this film a lot but it won't have you watching it over and over again but once you start watching it like any horror film you'll want to know what is after them and who will survive.
I recently decided to watch The Cottage on the basis that it had got fairly good ratings on About.com's best comedy horror films. I wasn't aware that dooyoo reviewers had panned it so much and whilst it's not the best film ever - struggle to see how it deserves a 1 or 2 if rubbish like Harry Potter is getting 5!
This probably isn't as good as Botched but the storyline keeps you occupied, there are plenty of those moments where you think " why didn't he do that" and The Cottage answers that question easily by putting two goofballs in the cast, the useless dunderheads Peter (Reece Shearsmith) and Andrew (Steve O' Donnell).
Basically they kidnap Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) who is a tarty scouse daughter of a gangster and they demand a ransom, Tracey turns out to be quite a handful though and she's not the most pleasant of hostages, this kind of warms you to the hostage takers and helps you want them to succeed. One of the funniest parts is when Peter is trying to be hard when in fact of course he is as wet as they come. David (Andy Serkis) plays the hardman and overall I'd say he does a good job and is very convincing.
I enjoyed the dry humour of it, particularly towards the end and the final moments are pure class. There's a little less gore than I expected based on what I'd read about it but I found it quite a quirky movie, just think the role of Jennifer Ellison could have been improved and that there probably wasn't such a need for pointless swearing in the early parts of the film
This was a genuine surprise of a movie for me. I mean, i was expecting some low budget trash with very few laugh, but since i am a horror fiend, and it was only 2 quid with post and packaging on amazon, i thought why the hell not? What i got was an unexpectably enjoyable British comedy horror movie, which could well be the best out there if it weren't for Shaun of The Dead.
David (Andy Serkis) and Peter (Reece Shearsmith) are a pair of fairly opposite brothers. David is aggressive and tough whereas Peter is soft and manipulated by his wife. The pair are hiding out in a cottage in the woods after they have kidnapped a gang boss's daughter, Tracey (Jennifer Ellison). They are expecting 100,000 quid to get delivered to them in return for their safety, but instead they get a bumbling idiot called Andrew (Steven O'Donnel), two Chinese killers, and a psychotic farmer. What ensues is a comical triumph, as the group hunt each other, and are also all hunted, with plenty of laughs along the way.
The comedy here is pretty good throughout, with a good character bonding between the siblings, which gives the viewers a good dose of sibling rivalry and bickering as the madness ensues. This is always fun, as it gives a very light and very familiar feel to the film. Many of the other gags rely on over the top gross out special effects, but i felt that this also was handled well, and the injuries sustained by the group are both amusing and sickening at the same time.
The acting here was better than expected, with Andy Serkis great as the more pyschotic sibling, who deep down cares for his brother. Serkis is clearly an actor who excels when it comes to violence and is always convincing.
Shearsmith is also on a pretty good form as the softer brother, who comically complains throughout about the cold and his ever more painfull body. I actually felt sorry for the actor having to portray someone with no backbone whatsoever, but he does it well and to good comic effect.
Ellison isn't the best actress, but she is good eye candy for the male audience, though a bit irritating at times with her constant loud aggression...
The film is a little more horror than most horror comedies, as, unlike Shaun of The Dead, it does have the odd fright here and there. This could be due to a contorted killer and the entire film being set in the dark though....
Things are directed with a good pace throughout, and you never find yourself getting bored, with a good blend between the drama filled first half and the horror comedy of the second.
This is a genuinely fun movie throughout, and any fans of Severance, and most fans of Shaun of The Dead will love it. I would personally recommend it to any fan of comedy though, and lots of action and horror fans will appreciate the thrills and gore throughout 
Well, this is fun, providing you leave your brain at the door. Bumbling criminal wannabee siblings Andy Serkis and Reece Sheersmith kidnap a UK Godfather's darling daughter Jennifer Ellison, with the get-rich-quick aim of ransoming her. Our heroes quickly discover that the sexy scousette has more balls than the two of them put together...and then there's the psycho killer next door to be reckoned with.
The ingredients of this O-Rhesus Negative romp through the darker side of rural England come together surprisingly well. The lambs remain silent throughout but there are plenty of human screams to make up for it. You'll see a man trapped in the most agonisingly medieval way, the supremos of the Chinese criminal community end up with their Tongs hanging out...and watch out for a brief, out-of-character appearance of 'Hellraiser's' Doug Bradley - 'Pinhead', minus the pins.
The premise of 'The Cottage' is hardly in the academic film-noir league, nor is its execution all that stylish. But if you like your violence bloody funny and pain presented in a cringeworthy manner, this film should be on your wish list. In all, it's a good comedy of horrors, which helps make up for its rather weak ending.
The Cottage is another in a recent run of British attempts to make a quality comedy horror, a genre that is decidedly difficult to pull off. 99 times out of 100 the comedy just isn't funny enough and the scary parts are anything but that, often being funnier, unintentionally, than the parts that are meant to make you laugh.
The Cottage is also unfortunate to have appeared at a time when out and out slasher horrors have made a resurgence, a genre that the horror side of The Cottage fits squarely into.
On the plus side it is physically impossible for it to be as bad as the Irish film 'Shrooms' which was released around the same time!
Compared to 'Shrooms' The Cottage is a work of genius, but then that is really saying much. Although it has a few good moments it still isn't really up too much at all and can be, at the very best, only be called a below average movie.
The Cottage is all about David (Andy Serkis - King Kong, The Prestige) and Peter (Reece Sheersmith - League of Gentlemen). They need money and come up with the masterplan of kidnapping Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) the foul-mouthed daughter of a local gangster.
As the story starts we join the two brothers driving, and arguing, in a car, their captive bundled up in the boot. They are driving to a remote cottage out in the English countryside, well as remote as you can get only two hours away from central London.
The cottage is habitable but not great. They plan to get the ransom and then live happily ever after on the proceeds.
What David neglects to consider though is the outright stupidity of his help and the strange goings on at a nearby farmhouse.
The Cottage isn't a total disaster it is just a close as one can get to it without actually being on. It has a couple of funny moments but suffers from the bane of most British comedies these days... an awful script. Occasionally one rises above the rest on a tsunami like wave, Death At A Funeral for example, but generally they sink below the surface, barely making a scratch on the consciousness of the cinema going public.
The three main stars in The Cottage aren't too bad, they are all trying to give something to their lines, but they can only do so much and none of them are served particularly well. Serkis plays an almost stereotypical tough guy, only glimpses of another side of him breaking out when his brother is in trouble.
Shearsmith plays all geeky and repressed, obviously under his wife's thumb, and gets little more to do than show these traits as often as possible. Cementing what we already know about the character five minutes into the movie.
Ellison is the worse off though. Her continuous foul mouthed rants get monotonous after a while and also have the detrimental effect of the anger on her face actually making her look ugly to. If this was intended then it is a clever bit of acting and a brave move on her part.
The comedy moments that do exist all revolve around the kidnappers stupidity, which makes you wonder how they managed to kidnap someone in the first place. They certainly do not seem competent enough to succeed in any sort of plan.
Of course The Cottage isn't meant to be a deep thoughtful film so little inconsistencies don't really matter, but it just isn't even entertaining either. A film to wile away 90 minutes to maybe but not one to aim to see with any sort of high expectations... unless maybe you actually enjoyed that other disastrous Brit horror Severance, a film with which it borrow more than a few similarities.
The Cottage is a film to avoid at all costs; there really is no good reason at all for wanting to see this. There are so many better films than this around that to waste 90 minutes of your life, and some hard earned money, on just seems like it should be a crime.
Avoid, avoid, avoid... at all costs!
I watched the cottage with friends just before Christmas and we saw it on Pay per view on Virgin Media. I admit that we were sold by the quotes on the front cover and were looking forward to seeing one of the 'best British horror comedy films ever made'.....that is not what we got though!
There were some very funny and very gory moments in the film, but the plot lacked substance and some of it just seemed to be plain silly. Shearsmiths character had so much more potential and I thought this could really have been developed. Jennifer Ellison was surprisingly good and made the most of her appauling script, she hammed it up well and knew how to get the best from her character. The 'Monster' was well thought out and there are moments in the film reminiscent of the cast of an American Werewolf in London....all a bit mad and denying any problems exist! The film would have been better if it had a clear idea of what it was meant to actually be. Horror comedy is difficult to pull off and it would have been better of it was just a horror...that people then watched and said ' oh that bit was funny'. The end of the film was the best bit...not just because it finished but because there were some twists and turns to get us there. My favourite bit in the entire film was in the barn with all the heads..It was like an evil Worzel Gummidge.
I would not recommend buying this film, it is worth seeing though, just so you can say I have seen it and it was bad!
When David and Peter kidnap Tracey, the step-daughter of a powerful villain, they think that their fortunes are made. Unfortunately, nothing quite goes to plan. Tracey's step-brother, Andrew, who is part of the plot, is supposed to deliver the ransom money, but doesn't check the bag and it turns out to be tissue paper. And Tracey is not going to be held without a fight. When David goes out to make a phone call, he returns to find that Tracey has run off, after decking Andrew, taking Peter with her. Added to the mix are two Chinese hit-men who have followed Andrew and a village full of very strange people. Will any of them escape with their lives?
I really liked Andy Serkis, who plays David. As Peter's brother, he is definitely the more street-wise of the two; in fact, it is him who has bullied Peter into helping with the kidnap. David is a bit of a hard case - he looks like he walked straight out of Eastenders - and struggles to come to terms with other people's stupidity. It is this that brings a lot of humour to the film - his gradual realisation that they are all doomed is funny to watch. He works brilliantly with Reece Shearsmith, who plays Peter - I really believed the two of them were brothers, even though they look and act completely differently, because their banter was so family-like. Reece Shearsmith is also very funny. He is a complete 'pussy', as Tracey so eloquently puts it, scared of moths, anything that moves and pain - a bit of a problem considering the beatings that he took.
Jennifer Ellison plays Tracey. I'm not sure exactly how much she was actually acting, but she was good in the role - extremely feisty and all too able to look after herself - very like Emily in Brookside. She does swear a lot, which will put some people off - I don't think she said much that didn't include either the 'f' or the 'c' word, but heck, in her position I would have sworn a lot too! Steven O'Donnell plays her step-brother, Andrew and is also good. He is almost as incompetent as Peter, but not quite as funny, mainly because he doesn't get as much air-time.
This is a comedy horror; there are lots of laughs (well I found it funny), but there is also an awful lot of gore. Someone's head gets chopped off with a spade at one point, and we get a close-up of the severed neck. And there's plenty of other blood-spattering moments. With that and the swearing, this is definitely not a film for kiddies, and parents shouldn't think that just because it is a comedy, it will be more watchable for children. There is an 18 rating and it is fully deserved.
The special effects are generally good - not the best that I have ever seen, but they are certainly realistic enough to make me flinch. I didn't however, think much of one of the villagers, who is clearly very badly deformed - unfortunately, it didn't look in the slightest bit natural. However, as the film is at least partly a comedy, I think that the director managed to get away with it - certainly it didn't ruin my overall enjoyment of the film. I liked the way music was used to highlight the major parts of the storyline. Usually it is quite old-fashioned (a la Hitchcock) doom-ridden music, but occasionally some lighter music is thrown in; for example, in one scene where Peter is in a room full of moths and is thrashing around in fear, the music from the Sugar Plum Fairy (at least I think that's what it is) is played, adding to the humour.
There are some extras. The ubiquitous director's commentary, which I listened to for about five minutes - as usual, there's nothing amazing there and it's actually quite annoying - director Paul Andrew Williams seems to think it's necessary to explain exactly what's happening on screen - the moonlight streaming in through the window etc. Then there's a theatrical trailer, a list of cast and crew members (and when I say list, I mean just that - what's the point?) and out-takes. The out-takes are quite funny - Reece Shearsmith is particularly good at fluffing his lines in a funny way. One thing that did annoy me was the way that the extras are set out - they aren't all on one page and the way the titles are written makes it very hard to read them
I had heard nothing but criticism about this film before I watched it. That is exactly why I watched it - I love rubbish horrors, and thought that I would probably enjoy it. And I did, very much. I think having low expectations is a good thing - there is usually a lot less disappointment then. The fact that the film is British made it all the better for me, although I'm not sure how the humour would transfer to other countries. Of course, it is not perfect; there are plot holes and it is silly and very over-the-top at times, but it provided me with an hour and a half of pure entertainment, and that's all I could ask for. Recommended, although I'd rent rather than buy at the price play.com are currently charging.
The DVD is available from play.com for £12.99.
Running time: 92 minutes
The Cottage was one of the more pointless films released last year and I've just managed to catch it on DVD. I'm glad I didn't part with my cash at the cinema to see it, as it's a terrible, terrible mess.
Lodged somewhere between an English Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Shaun of the Dead, The Cottage just doesn't know what its wants to be. Its meant to be funny, but it isn't, and its also meant to be a horror, but it isn't that either.
From the DVD box and the cinema trailer you would be forgiven for thinking that it's going to be hilarious and in the same vein as Shaun of the Dead. The great thing about Shaun of the Dead was that it cleverly blended horror and comedy together and worked as both. The Cottage has moments that are meant to be funny - people falling over and being hit by garden rakes - but just aren't in the least bit funny. The horror - stealing every element from Texas Chainsaw Massacre - has people hands in fridges and trailing innards - but isn't remotely scary or indeed realistic.
The Cottage sees would-be kidnappers and brothers Andy Serkis and Reece Shearsmith holding up at an abandoned cottage somewhere in the English countryside. They have kidnapped Jennifer Ellison, the daughter of a London strip club owner who they want to blackmail £10,000 for so that Serkis can get a boat and that Shearsmith can get their parents house.
Unfortunately Ellison gives as good as she gets and promptly escapes. Finding their way to a farm they happen upon a horribly disfigured farmer who likes to murder and decapitate people who get on his land. It's up to Serkis to rescue his brother from this mental farmer.
The plotline is so ludicrous and nonsensical it becomes difficult to empathise with anyone situation in this film. The violence and gore seems to be the only reason the film was made, trying to be a gross as English horror can get. The film borrows from so many sources and is so blatant in this, that you end up hating what they've done. They also try and fit in as many 'f's' and 'c's' as they can adding to the 'shock' value.
Serkis is good in the role, as I haven't seen him in anything where he's just playing a version of himself; he's actually the films only saving grace playing the blokey character with the stupid brother. As Peter, Reece Shearsmith plays his character with all the charm of a piece of poo. The fact that he used to be in League of Gentlemen plays no part in the film's quality - he actually manages to cheapen it further.
As the kidnapped Tracey, Jennifer Ellison is equally disgusting - coming across as a thin 'fat-slag' from Viz. She is annoying beyond breaking point and I was pleased to see how she meets her maker.
I really hope this is a blip in the output of British cinema and that the much-mooted new Hammer film production centre starts making some good English horror, as this was just awful. Not recommended.
From director Paul Andrew Williams (London to Brighton), 'The Cottage' is a comedy horror film which originally achieved a UK cinematic release in March 2008. This dark British film stars Andy Serkis, Reece Shearsmith, and Jennifer Ellison.
Brothers David and Peter come up with a master plan in order to bag a large sum of cash between them. The plan is that they'll kidnap the daughter of a big time gangster, hold her hostage, and demand £100,000 ransom. It all seems so simple, it doesn't quite go according to plan however and before long everything starts to go wrong for the two brothers. As the £100,000 looks increasingly less likely to become theirs, things go from bad to worse and the brothers, along with their hostage Tracey find themselves to be in a very sticky situation indeed. This bungled kidnapping gets incredibly messy as our key protagonists find themselves fighting for their lives.
Never does 'The Cottage' ever seem to really get going, it paces along and is mildly amusing in parts, on the whole however the film just fails to impress and there's a lot of time spent here merely waiting for things to happen. The jokes are few and far between, the horror aspect is often incredibly predictable, and whilst I did enjoy the film a little in places; overall I'd have to say that I wasn't really that impressed by 'The Cottage'. There were elements that I quite liked about the film, not enough to ever keep me completely entertained however and frequently I found myself wondering when the film was going to come to its end.
In the original Paul Andrew Williams script, hostage Tracey was meant to be a 40 year old woman; in the film Tracey is played by Jennifer Ellison however, and according to Paul Andrew Williams himself, in order to get finance for the film he was asked to cast someone young for the part. I don't feel it would have made much difference regardless of who had have played the part of Tracey; there wasn't much to the film really, and although Jennifer Ellison was quite weak in her role - the script didn't really allow for any real depth of performance anyway.
The plot line is quite ropey, the jokes on the whole unfunny, and what I enjoyed most about the film was probably its brief moments of tension. Suspense was built well in parts, had me on the edge of my seat a little, really making me feel as though I was watching a 'real' horror movie. I feel that had the film trod a more horror based line then the film perhaps would have been more successful, the suspenseful horror parts were more enjoyable to watch than the comedy elements, and had this been the key focus of the film then 'The Cottage' could well have been a reasonable British horror film. As it turns out though, the film was never really too much of either, and whilst there were a few funny moments and some excellent elements of suspense; all in all there's a lot about this film not to like and many moments where the film just doesn't really work.
In terms of quality of cast I feel that Paul Andrew Williams did quite a good job with 'The Cottage'. I always enjoyed watching Reece Shearsmith in the League of Gentlemen, and it was quite nice to see Andy Serkis present here also, a man probably best known by most for having played Gollum in 'The Lord of the Rings' films. As for Jennifer Ellison though? Well, as Paul Andrew Williams wanted her role to be played by a 40 year old we'll ignore that one. The casting of 'The Cottage' wasn't at all the films problem, more the quality of the script and the general flow of the film.
'The Cottage' is certainly not one of the worst films I've ever seen, it had its positive aspects and there were times when I did quite enjoy what was going on on-screen. On the whole the film is not great, better than some I've seen though and watching the film was not a complete waste of time, just not an entirely enjoyable experience. Would I watch 'The Cottage' again? Well, quite frankly no, that's not to say I hated the film though, just more to the point that I found the film to be not very good.
Paul Andrew Williams is a decent director and 'The Cottage' is not a complete disaster, it has its merits and I know for a fact that there are some that do enjoy the film (it has a Rotten Tomatoes overall freshness percentage of 71% for instance); I'm not one of the films fans however, and stand by my point that I feel Williams would have had greater success had he made 'The Cottage' an all out horror film. 'The Cottage' has not put me off the future films of Paul Andrew Williams, merely removed my wish to ever watch this particular film again. 'The Cottage' has its fans, personally I don't rate the film but if you are a fan of the comedy horror genre then by all means obtain a copy of 'The Cottage' on rental and see what you make of this 2008 Paul Andrew Williams directed dark comedy horror.
The Cottage can currently be purchased from Amazon.co.uk at a price of £5.98.
Director: Paul Andrew Williams
Runtime: 91 mins
BBFC Rating: 18
Feeling under the weather, tired yet cant sleep and remembered the penny movies on virgin so thought I would give this a try - it is on for a penny up to and including this Thursday (16th October) I loved Andy Serkis in Lord Of The Rings so thought this film would be worth a watch.
The film itself lasts around 1 hour and 25 minutes (there is a minute scene at the end which I saw as I couldn't find the remote to press stop!)
David - is played by Andy Serkis. He is one of the main characters and decides to kidnap a woman for £100,000 ransom, to do this he enlists the help of his brother Peter. The main reason for the kidnap and getting his straight laced brother involved is to give him their deceased mothers house which she left to them both. In addition to this he wants to get a boat and start a simple life.
Peter (Reece Shearsmith) is nervous, obviously not used to the criminal life and quite aptly starts the film off with the statement "Were going to hell for this" He talks about his wife and baby a lot and it is apparent she is the one who wears the trousers as such in the relationship.
Tracy is played by Jennifer Ellison who is the kidnapped woman. She pretty much swears a lot and I did not feel sympathy for her getting kidnapped at all!
Andrew (Steven O'Donnell) is Tracy's step brother and is in on the kidnap. His character is fairly dim yet entertaining to watch.
Archie who you only see briefly if you catch the last few seconds of the film after the credits is their father and runs a strip club and from what Tracy says to the brothers will kill anyone who messes with him / her.
The brothers make a call to Archie and demand Andrew is given the £100,000 and takes it alone to meet them - he takes the bag, is followed by 2 Asian men in a car and arrives at the cottage where the brothers and Tracy are. Unfortunately the bag is full of tissue and no money.
Up to this point I was wondering how this was classed as a comedy/horror as I had not yet jumped or really laughed at anything.
David then has to drive into town to use a phone as his brother dropped his in a pond, when there the creepiness of the horror genre is brought into the mix - well attempted to. The village folk tell him that strangers don't fare well there.
When he gets back to the house Andrew is knocked out and Tracy has taken Peter captive and they are heading to town to call her dad. Andrew's hairdresser, who was held captive by the Asian men and whom Andrew had disclosed his plans to earlier in the day then bursts through the door, covered in blood and dies. The two then head off to the woods to find Peter and Tracy.
Throughout the remainder of the film there is a disfigured mad farmer who is after them all. I do not want to spoil the rest of the film for those who actually want to see it!
One scene did make me laugh after this point and it was when Peter went into a room in the farmers house only for it to be full of moths - something he is terrified of!
Peter is also in the only scene which made me jump when he was on the run for the farmer and locked himself in a room (that's all I am giving away!)
The rest of the film is fairly bloody and gory but tries to do it in a funny way. The farmer is similar to the killers in such films as Wrong Turn.
I must admit I was glad I only paid a penny for this film as any more I would want a refund! I just did not really get how it was classed as a comedy horror, yes there were a few funny parts and one that made me jump. But I like a film classed as a horror to make me scarred and jumpy during the film and I like comedies to make me laugh more than this film did!
I liked Andy Serkis as David, he did a good job in a film that just isn't that good. Peter was also a great character and I did like the relationship between the two. Although they are so different and argued a lot I actually believed the relationship and the fact that they really cared about each other.
To be honest if you have an hour and a half to kill and you can catch it this week for a penny it is just about worth a watch, especially for a penny!
It was fairly clear from the start of this movie which direction the makers of this film were going to take, especially once we were introduced to Jennifer Ellison. She's a pretty blond with a nice rack but talk about over concentrating on 1 thing. Cleavage, cleavage & more cleavage. I guess Jen must have agreed to do everything they were doing to try & get her foot in the door of movies but doing that kind of thing is only going to get her very typecast in all the wrong kind of roles.
Andy Serkis (Dog Soldiers, Lord Of The Rings) plays his role well enough, Reece Sheersmith (The League Of Gentlemen) plays the more timid and bumbling criminal OK too, he's almost in his TLOG Ollie Plimsolls character doing this role.
Basically this is 3 guys who kidnap a girl and get paid in tissue paper, the guy delivering the money is followed by Asian Hit men and their all screwed. Not as screwed as when the girl escapes taking 1 kidnapper at knife-point and they find a cottage inhabited by a murderous flesh eating farmer.
And that's all the review this awful film is getting. It's just not very good at all, the plot (what there is of it) is very thin on the ground, the gore isn't very good at all and the pacing of the film is just way too slow in all the wrong places. Oh, and the "ending" after the credits is so bad as to be unreal. I wouldn't recommend this film even if you paid me money.