MURPHY IN HAUNTED SHOCKER (The Haunted Mansion (DVD))

Member Name: marandina

Product:	The Haunted Mansion (DVD)
Date:	30/08/04 (59 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Kids will still like it

Disadvantages: It's just not very good

Curlers prominent, hair net in place, my mother always told me to listen to Johnny Vaughan (that may have been before they made "Passport to Paradise" or whatever it was called). Well, actually, she didn?t but after reading his critical review of this Eddie Murphy vehicle then maybe I should have. Whilst The Sun may have it?s knockers (sorry), it does carry a reasonable movie review from time to time so if I can?t compete with that particular literary standard, then I apologise in advance.

Anyway, there has been a trend over recent years for Disney to incorporate one of its theme park-rides into a movie format. Recently, Pirates of the Caribbean drew attention to the Fast Pass inducing pirate ride in Orlando (and other Disney theme parks, no doubt) and The Tower of Terror (1997, TV movie) did a similar, if smaller scale job. This more recent outing calls upon the vagaries of the Haunted Mansion spectacular which, having been on it twice, is hardly hair curling but nevertheless reasonably entertaining and good, solid family fodder.
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Director: Rob Minkoff
Run Time: 87 mins
Cert: PG

Main Cast:

Eddie Murphy - Jim Evers
Terence Stamp - Ramsley
Nathaniel Parker - Master Gracey
Marsha Thomason - Sara Evers
Jennifer Tilly - Madame Leota
Wallace Shawn ? Ezra
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Eddie Murphy is a self-employed estate agent along with his lovely wife, Sara (Marsha Thomason). Somewhat typically in a cliche kinda way, he is living the &#
65;merican dream featured so often in a million other movies i.e. all work and no play making Jim Evers a dull boy. Having let his wife down yet again in favour of another potential pay-day, he agrees to make it up to the family by whisking ?em off to the Lakes for the weekend. However, a curious phone call to his wife offering her the chance to sell a multi-million pound mansion results in a detour via a spooky, almost Adamms family-like residence in the middle of some isolated swampland (did they nick the setting from that Jeep Cherokee ad?)

Ushered in by the latter day Lurch that is Terence Stamp, a spot of bad weather sees them stuck in the mansion overnight setting up a ghost laden sequence of shenanigans to support the story. The plot is a thin one, well worn before in that Murphy?s wife is a dead ringer for the previous, now deceased lady of the house and the master wants to get it on with her, aided and abetted by his erstwhile butler. Finding himself slung somewhat unceremoniously from the house, Jim must find a key to re-enter and rescue his wife from the mad machinations of the Master Gracey (said in a kind of Igor voice). This ain?t any key, mind you, it?s a very special key that takes Jim and children on a roller coaster ride of ghosts and goblins and singing heads and zombies and..erm...you?re getting the message aren?t you?

Well, what can I say? You?d think that all the ingredients were there for a great family outing but, sadly, it doesn?t quite work out that way.

Rob Minkoff?s work on both Stuart Little films would have set up him just nicely for this special effects laden affair. A mix of the obligatory CGI, blue screen along with plain, old fashioned dummies and people dressed up all feature in a plot that?s been woven around the most obvious facets of the theme park ride itself. With one t
oo many close ups of the grinning Murphy, Minkoff whirls around from room to room, admirably struggling with a story that?s too anchored in the mansion for far too long. OK, the effects are enough to encourage the odd whoop from the kids whilst the ephemeral white mist that?s supposed to be a ghost along with the transparent ghosties lifted straight from the ride may get the odd 4-year-old hiding under their seat.

I really can?t make up my mind about Murphy. That bad ass smile of his takes up his whole face and I loved him in Trading Places (1983). A brief sojourn into producing via Harlem Nights (1989) proved a financial disaster for EM. Ever since, a string of mainly comic roles has seen him move up to 5th place in the all time earnings league and at $20million a movie who can blame him from taking any scripts on offer? Possibly, one of the worst ever was The Nutty Professor 2 ? The Klumps (2000), which is so incredibly bad it beggars belief. His reputation for bad-mouthing women as part of his stand-up routine tends to put me off and he has starred in some simply dreadful movies. Here, he plays a confident, grinning estate agent so a role, which would have been like falling off a log for him. Unfortunately, he is let down by a lame script that provides few laughs despite Murphy?s best efforts.

Marsha Thomason (Shazza in TV's Playing The Field) looks the part as the gorgeous wife of the workaholic estate agent but she gets little opportunity to expand her role much beyond the vulnerable female victim that so offend offends the feminist movement (she ain?t no Lara Croft). Bland and with hardly anything interesting to say at all, she may want to consider her next script a bit more carefully before disappearing down the chute of cast off, Hollywood rejects.

Terence Stamp is a mig
hty fine actor (an English man, don?t you know?) so quite what he is doing appearing as a starch-faced Butler as the villain of the piece is quite beyond me. Maybe he thought that this role would be a little light relief but bearing in mind his previous pedigree (see Superman (1978) Superman 2 (1980) and Young Guns (1988) amongst many others) then this will prove to be one to forget.

The rest of the cast, simply make up the numbers in a plot that reminded me of the excellent James Herbert inspired Haunted (1995). As the master, Nathaniel Parker seemed, in the main, lifeless (maybe this was the intention) and almost irrelevant, at times, despite being essential to the story line whilst the servants and the gypsy head in a crystal ball provide what humour there is.

There are a number of sub plots that it may be worth reflecting on. The story provides an opportunity for Ever?s son to confront his fears (mainly spiders) giving dad the chance to pontificate about not showing fear lest this be used against yee. There is a touch of irony, therein, as dad admits to being scared when having crept into a crypt, he fails to creep out again as he?s locked in with what looks like the cast of the Michael Jackson music video ? Thriller. Oh, and there does appear to be a veiled racial agenda as the former intended of the master was not allowed to marry him as she was from a different world (i.e. black). Of course, Disney sanitisation is hardly new and almost customary in most of the politically correct obsessed film studio?s movies (I?d give an example but there will be so many...oh, alright then, Pocahontas (1995), Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996), Lilo and Stitch (2002), need I go on?)

Best bits then without spoiling for you, dear movie-watcher?

 The inclusion of the singing barbershop quartet?s heads li
fted straight from the theme park attraction. We really liked that bit as it reminded us of our holidays in Orlando.

 The scene in the crypt with Murphy, children and a load of zombie-types

 Murphy?s BMW car that featured several times and looks the sexiest thing on show

 The outer-worldly ghost effects in general.

With original music from Mark Mancina and cinematography by Remi Adefarasin, I can?t think of anything else to add. I?m sure the music was suitably suspenseful although I may have nodded off at times. I can?t remember, now.

By now, you?ll realise that I absolutely cannot recommend this movie. Although my kids enjoyed it (both under 12) it left me cold. I suppose you could accuse me of being blinkered as this is billed as a children?s movie but there are far better offerings that this around so watch them and avoid this. Saying that, for those that do give it a go the DVD package it is a reasonable one. I?ll listen to you next time, Johnny (unless it?s about doing a new prime time Saturday evening show!).

Thanks for reading

Marandina.

Capital letters courtesy of: http://www.chuckleweb.co.uk/fixit.php

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