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The Y Men!!!
The Pink Panther 2 (DVD)
Member Name: paulie1975
The Pink Panther 2 (DVD)
Date: 21/07/11, updated on 21/07/11 (64 review reads)
Disadvantages: Awful Film, patronising, unfunny, great cast, awful acting and script
The Pink Panther is a classic comedy, starring one of cinemas great comedic icons, Peter Sellars and directed by Blake Edwards, the man with the golden camera back in the 1970's, so why oh why did anyone think it would be a good idea to remake the Pink Panther, or reinvent him starring Steve Martin as the hapless inspector.
First off, I don't appreciate remakes or retellings unless there is a specific benefit, if your going to reinvent Batman, that's absolutely fine, good luck, if you plan to put a new spin on the Italian Job and not really copy much except an iconic chase in mini's, cool. If you plan to simply put a comedic actor who hasn't made people laugh for 15 years in an iconic role and expect us to laugh simply because he's copying the silly French accent, then you've gone too far Mr Producer. I do appreciate that a number of other actors tried to follow Sellars in playing the bumbling French detective, but as I haven't seen these, I will treat them with the contempt I believe they deserve and ignore them.
The Pink Panther 2 isn't a retelling of the old stories, it is a follow up to a film which I believe was widely panned, starring Martin, Beyonce and Kevin Kline. This time Martin has a big hand in writing it, unfortunately, this to me shows that the once great comedic talent has waned and got lost somewhere along the way as this actually made my niece grimace at times, it is so stupid and shallow.
The best parts of the film are the opening and closing credits where the animated Pink Panther helps to introduce the characters and this explains how the story might develop.
An International thief known as 'The Tornado' is touring the major art works and historical manuscripts of the world, including the Magna Carta, the Japanese Emperor's sword and the Shroud of Turin. All attention turns to the Pink Panther, a diamond which symbolises French art more than anything in the world. To avoid this happening French authorities put their best known detective, Clouseau (Steve Martin) on the case to help an international dream team of some of the worlds great detectives find the thief.
Can Clouseau find the thief, or will his ineptitude actually thwart the discovery of the villain and help them steal the Pink Panther?
I've actually included the main cast members here, all have made memorable films, with wonderful performances, its hard to believe watching this load of old tripe though. Watching it, you begin to imagine large child maintenance bills or homes in the Hamptons which needed to be paid for, as I would be horrified if any of these actors made this film for the script or the prestige.
The acting all round is appalling, Martin is awful as Inspector Clouseau, he catches the accident prone nature and mixes his words up, but he lacks the clever humour, the characterisation or the personality of Peter Sellars creation, this is a cartoon Clouseau who is annoying without ever being endearing, whereas the real Clouseau had that fine mix of cluelessness and vulnerability. Jean Reno's character could have been played by a Labrador, he has nothing to do but follow Clouseau around saying how great he is. John Cleese continues his spectacular descent into the ordinary, he plays Dreyfuss as an angry John Cleese and undoes decades of amazing comedic work.
Emily Mortimer is a great actress, she has impressed me in any number of films but returns as Clouseau's love interest and is sweet but seems not to want to be there.
Andy Garcia, Alfred Molina, Yuki Matsuzaki and Aishwarya Rai play world famous detectives from Italy, the UK, Japan and India, all are subjected to crude racial stereotypes by Clouseau and play the wrong blend of dumb and knowing. They are all appalling and sleepwalk their roles without even trying, Garcia in particular does look as though he had some big bills to pay and simply needed a payday.
Jeremy Irons appears and is as stiff as his surname, his seriousness adds not a jot of gravitas to this trainwreck of a film, add in French film legend Johnny Hallyday and Lily Tomlin and you have a cast who don't live up to their names of their histories whatsoever. Not one person excels, all seem to march to the tune of Steve Martin's character who is one of the most dislikeable 'loveable' characters I've ever seen. An ensemble cast work to make this film as awful as it is, without ever trying they all damaged their reputations with me enormously.
Steve Martin ... Jacques Clouseau
Jean Reno ... Gilbert Ponton
Emily Mortimer ... Nicole Durant
Andy Garcia ... Vicenzo Brancaleone
Alfred Molina ... Randall Pepperidge
Yuki Matsuzaki ... Kenji Mazuto
Aishwarya Rai ... Sonia Solandres
John Cleese ... Charles Dreyfus
Lily Tomlin ... Yvette Berenger
Jeremy Irons ... Alonso Avellaneda
Johnny Hallyday ... Laurence Millikin
Geoffrey Palmer ... Joubert
I was shocked to discover this appalling piece of cinema grossed over $75 million worldwide, this is a sad state of affairs and in no way matches the appalling quality of this film. While the film is set in France with a predominantly French cast, it bombed there lasting only one week in cinemas. I take my hats off to our French cousins in their sharp analysis of this awful, awful film.
On no level should you really enjoy this film, it is another death knell in the careers of comedic actors like Martin and Cleese who haven't made a decent film between them in leading roles for 20 years. The rest of the cast often look slightly uncomfortable and quite rightly so, I felt uncomfortable watching this, I did so with foreign friends who really couldn't understand the actual humour.
The script is awful, it could have been edited by a claustrophobic hen, it has nothing of any value to it, the sight gags range from bad to bloody awful, there is little of value in this, when something happens we don't see the after effects, merely a cut to the next godawful scene, where are the consequences, how does Clouseau escape them, the old characterisation would have made matters much worse by trying to talk himself out of such scrapes, this clouseau simply gloats and falls over and generally just makes a tit of himself.
I really disliked this film to unfathomable levels, it is a waste of a brilliant legacy, a waste of a pretty decent cast and if the script was ever printed out for some studio exec to read, it is a waste of paper and trees, I can't say strongly enough what a poor film this is, to call it toilet humour would do a disservice to toilets, to call some of the visual movements acting would do a disservice to the word and I think calling this a comedy could be difficult under the Trades Descriptions act. Awful tosh!!
==Where can I buy it==
If you bought this I would suggest buying it for somebody you don't like as payback, it isn't funny, isn't exciting and has the likeability of Piers Morgan.
The DVD is available for £8.19 new and £1.99 used via Amazon, if you paid £8.19 for this you should question yourself seriously, this is an awful film and I'm embarrassed to have even watched it on television (This is a FILM ONLY review, as you might have guessed).
==Quotes (Good and Bad)==
I have included some pretty appalling and borderline offensive quotes here just to show the quality of the comedy on offer and balanced this with some of the funniest lines. You will find it hard to differentiate the good from the bad.
Kenji: Have we decided on lunch?
Insp. Clouseau: I'm sure you'll be wanting sushi, my little yellow friend!
Pepperidge (Molina): If he solves this case, I'm perfectly willing to run around for 24 hours wearing nothing but a tutu carrying a big, pink, fluffy handbag.
Insp Clouseau: Let me bring you up to speed... We know nothing. You are now up to speed.
==IF THIS FILM WERE....==
IF THIS FILM WERE A DRINK.........It would be flat lemonade, tasteless, without sparkle and past its prime
IF THIS FILM WERE A CELEBRITY......It would be Jordan, inflated with self importance, but hard to fathom how the hell it got publicity or ever made any money
IF THIS FILM WERE A PERFUME.....It would be called 'Vacuous, a new fragrance for people who have money to waste on something with no fathomable content'.
Summary: The Y Men!!!