THE NEW MODEL ARNIE (The Scorpion King (DVD))

Member Name: snappy

Product:	The Scorpion King (DVD)
Date:	20/05/02 (314 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: plenty of whack 'em, smash 'em, beat 'em up action

Disadvantages: for the more discerning all of the above

Any WWF Fans out there? Well, if you haven't already - you've gotta see this movie. You will love it to death. Macho to 'nth' degree, minimum of storyline, musclebound hero with a touch of humour.

End of Review....

...well, not quite.

SPIN OFF
This is almost 'The Mummy Returns Again', Scorpion King having been introduced to us - briefly - in last year's Mummy 2 epic. WWF legend 'The Rock' dominates the screen as the eponymous hero from ancient times and despite limited acting talent (all WWF stars have to be actors, of course), does a pretty good job. This is NOT A sequel, prequel or whatever - it is a Spin Off from 'the Mummy'

Set well before the two Mummy movies, in this, The Rock plays 'Mathayus' a beefy, sword wielding, slayer of evil doers. His task is to rid the ancient world of the threat from the very nasty 'Memnon' (Steven Brand), by removing his sorceress sidekick, 'Cassandra' (oh how original a name is that?).

SEE KELLY HU NUDE
...Well, very nearly. Oriental lovely Kelly Hu takes the female lead role as Cassandra and it does not take a 'Rock'et scientist to work out that before long, she will be 'rocking' with the King. But, definitely a plus point to this movie for you red bloodied guys out there, is the fact that Ms Hu spends most of the movie wearing the minimum of 'mummification'...clothes in fact.

FANTASTIC FIGHTS AND EXCEPTIONAL ESCAPES
Along the way there are plenty of 'beat-em-up' scenes, even more whizzing of arrows, buckles being swashed all over the place and still 'Scorpy' (my pet name for him, because he's a pussycat really!) comes through it all unscathed. He defies death by the dozen, as even with odds stacked against him, you just know who will come out on top. It's ferocious, it's frantic, it's frankly ridiculous - BUT it's Fun.

>LOADSAMONEY
This movie had broken Box Office records in the USA on it's first weekend of release. When I saw on it's day of release in the UK - I was one of only around 15 people in the cinema to see it. Despite that, I'm sure it has been (who said The Rock is a has-been' ??) a hit over here. The Rock has a lot of fans and this kind of hokum is often big business.

I'm sorry that I really can't go into more detail on this movie. It comes at you like a 10 ton truck. It's predictable and cheesy with the action letting up only briefly, but there is a grain of humour along the way too - usually brought about by Scorpy's hapless and exceedingly dorky sidekick, Takmet (Peter Facinelli).

FINAL ANALYSIS
Above all, this is a vehicle for the undoubted heavyweight talents of 'The Rock' - or Dwayne Johnson, to give him his correct name. He has honed his acting 'skills' on the boards of the WWF 'wresting' theatres. He has charm, is good looking, definitely has 'screen presence' and certainly packs a 'punch' or two. He will be the next action hero to dominate our screens and follow in the meaty footsteps of such 'thespian' talents as Schwarzenegger, Seagal, Van Damme et al. He is the next 'Arnie' - He WILL Be back. You'd better believe it.

~~ Please be warned - there will be no Oscar nominations coming from this movie and do not expect to have to use even one single brain cell while sitting through this.

RATING - Far from a Classic. Do give this a chance, you may be pleasantly surprised - I was.

(c) KEITH MAYHEW 2002

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