Everybody loves good neighbours... unless they're Morlocks, that is. (The Time Machine [2002] (DVD))

Member Name: The Duke

Product:	The Time Machine [2002] (DVD)
Date:	13/06/02 (171 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Good special effects, Decent story

Disadvantages: Plot holes

Isn't Time Travel brilliant? You can do all sorts of nice things like go back in time and put some money in the bank so that in your present it will be loads and you can be a millionaire and king of the world! Woohoo!

Of course, it's not all that simple. Any fan of Star Trek will tell you that the are many unseen hazards when attempting time travel, and despite what your physics teacher may tell you, it's not impossible, only highly improbable.

I haven't read H. G. Wells' The Time Machine, although I am familiar with the 1960 Rod Taylor version which I thought was very enjoyable, so any comparison will be done with that film rather than the book. I only nipped into the cinema yesterday because I was out shopping, and it started to rain. I hadn't planned on even watching a film, until I saw that the afternoon prices were no more expensive than hiring a video. Spiderman isn't out yet, and I'd already watched Episode 2, so the only other movie that held a vague interest for me was The Time Machine.

So, in I went and settled down, made myself comfortable, and to my utter shame, found myself chuckling at the Steve Irwin "Crocodile Hunter" trailer.

*** The Plot ***

The film starts with Prof. Alexander Hartdegen (Guy Pearce, or Mike Out of Neighbours to give him his real name) proposing to Emma, only for the daft woman to be killed shortly afterwards because she's too emotionally attached to the engagement ring (a moonstone, not even a diamond, the cheapskate!) to hand it over to a nasty robber bloke.

Well, if Mike wasn't already a tad on the eccentric side (as his housekeeper, Mrs Watchit and friend David Philby have already informed us), this event would have done the trick. He shuns everyone, locks himself in his study for years on end and writes complicated equations on a blackboard for some unknown purpose (well, unknown to Philby and Mrs. W. because they don't
know what the film's called).

So, for some reason, after waiting for four years, Philby (the fat bloke out of Full Monty) decides to actually enter Hartdegen's study and talk to him. "Get lost" says Mike, "No" says Fat Bloke. "OK then", says Mike, "Get lost and come back next week, when all will be revealed. Oh, and you can have dinner as well, you pie eater". "I never turn down a free feed, so you will expect me next week" says Fatty as he walks out the door.

"Fooled you!" says Mike, smugly. "For I am a dead clever, and this conversation will never have happened" (Which is wrong, because at least as far as Mike is concerned, it just has - see what I mean about the complications of time travel?)

Anyway, Mike pulls back a large curtain to reveal a large clockwork and steam device which can only be one thing. That's right, a killer robot. No, seriously, it's his time machine. Now, we've already seen that fat Bloke and Mrs. W. are interfering busybodies (i.e. "concerned friends"), so you have to expect that they've been snooping around. Which is why Mike has cunningly built his time machine in his conservatory, because no one will ever think of looking in there.

Mike leaps aboard his machine, and travels back in time to save his bird from the evil robber bloke. But wait! Fate has determined that, for some reason, he cannot save her. No matter what he tries, she always ends up brown bread, and poor Mike is going to be alone (and presumably, quite bonkers) for ever and ever.

Now, the reason he couldn't save Emma was quite obvious to me (as an expert in time travel), but the man who invented a time machine, and had Mr. A. Einstein as a pen pal, couldn't figure this out. Oh dear. So, Mike takes a trip into the future to see if he can't solve the riddle...

Eventually, after some mucking about, he ends up i
n 802701 (which sounds like a dodgy Aaron Spelling teen show, or a dodgy "Yes" album), but he's been knocked about a bit, and is unconscious. He is nursed back to health, and when he comes to properly, he finds himself surrounds by the Eloi, a human-like people who seem peaceful and content, but hide an underlying tension and BIG SECRET.

Even better, the one who nursed him back to health looks like Samantha Mumba! Schwing! From then on, things go a bit strange (even stranger than time travel itself?) and you'll have to see the film for yourself to find out if Mike persuades Samantha to stop wearing those horrible trousers and put on those nice miniskirts she's always wearing in her pop videos to show off her nice legs.

*** The other bit ***

First things first, this is one of those no-brainer movies. Don't expect a masterpiece and you'll certainly come out with a fairly good opinion of the movie, especially if you ignore the gaping plot holes and other pieces which don't make sense.

The special effects are quite good, and the sequence when Hartdegen first travels forward in time is quite amazing as the "camera" zooms out from the conservatory as time goes forward quickly, so you see the new technological features progress like skyscrapers, different types of airplane etc.

The actual time machine is well designed in a nice modern, but old look to it, and you'd almost think it could work (apart from the fact that Mike designed it, although I bet he got Plain Jane Superbrain to do all the sums).

Performance wise, the film isn't anything special. Guy Pearce plods along as Hartdegen, somehow (as a gadget freak) being more interested in the tropical, less advanced world of 802701 than he is of the worlds of 2030 (cute girls wearing skin tight clothes!) and 2037 (other interesting stuff!) where (or should that be 'when'?) he stops off on the way. I thought Saman
tha Mumba did quite well, and certainly didn't look out of place, although that may well have had something to do with the standard of acting around her, rather than her own ability.

Orlando Jones' (Evolution) character of "Vox #NY-114", the hologramatic library assistant was quite funny and was a good method for providing information in a natural way, and the scenes where he provides Hartdegen with information on time travel is quite funny.

Jeremy Irons as the head Morlock does the job you expect from any action bad guy these days, and seems to have quite a good time hamming it up in his nice Morlock make up. Boo, hiss to you, Mr. Irons. Get back to Playaway where you belong.

The Morlocks are very well done with a more evil, animal quality to them than the 1960 movie where they were rather shambling characters. This is one of the main differences in the two films - the 1960 version shows the Eloi to be mindless, hypnotised slaves of the Morlocks whereas this new version show them to be almost prey for the predator-like Morlocks, and do not go willingly but are hunted instead.

There are some other differences to the 1960 film, but some references as well. The first thing is that the film is now set in New York, but this doesn't really make any difference to the story. A nod to the older film appears when Hartdegen goes forward in time for the first time, and the familiar scenes of the spider spinning it's web, and the changing fashions in the dress shop are revisited.

*** The end bit ***

I quite enjoyed The Time Machine, certainly as a distraction while waiting for the rain to go off, although there were parts of the film (some of which I've mentioned above) that simply don't make any sense to me. I would far rather have seen more of Hartdegen visit 2030 than the plot device of him going back in time to save his beloved Emma., especially when I found the reason for his failing to
do so quite obvious and would have thought he would have seen it, too. As well as that, I don't think his motives later in the film were properly explained. At times I thought the director, Simon Wells (H. G. Wells' great grandson, apparently!) at times was simply filling the spaces between major plot points rather than develop the characters and story properly.

I suppose what it comes down to is this: are you prepared to spend £5 watching this in the cinema, or would you rather spend £3 getting it out on video? My answer would be the latter, the film doesn't have anything that requires it to be compulsory viewing on the big screen, so I'd rather wait until it came out on video.

(Four stars for the film, less one for the sodding great plotholes and bits which don't make sense)

*** Really, this is the end bit ***

Guy Pearce - Prof. Alexander Hartdegen
Samantha Mumba - Mara
Omero Mumba - Kalen
Jeremy Irons - Über-Morlock
Orlando Jones - Vox, #NY-114
Mark Addy - David Philby
Phyllida Law - Mrs. Watchit
Sienna Guillory - Emma

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Simon Wells.

Summary: