Ich liebe Dich, mein Schatz!!!!! (Top Secret (DVD))

Member Name: dancomp

Product:	Top Secret (DVD)
Date:	18/10/06 (164 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Side-splittingly funny at times

Disadvantages: A little dated

Introduction
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How often does a parody of world war 2 and Elvis movies crop up? The answer is once! Nick Rivers (Val Kilmer) is an American pop singer with hits such as Skeet Surfin' USA. Invited by the Gestapo he travels to East Germany (Yes, the Nazis are still in control - don't ask why) to perform for a cultural festival as a diversion for their dastardly plan. While agent Cedric (A brilliant cameo by Omar Sharif) picks up phony dog poo that is NOT phony dog poo, our hero runs foul of the authorities rescuing Hillary Flamond (Lucy Gutteridge), a member of the French Resistance (In East Germany still).

With his manager (Billy J. Mitchell) impaled upon the Anal intruder due to a mistake over european voltage, Nick is forced to flee. ("Ve did vat ve could, but it took our surgeons eight hours just to get ze smile off his face") Meeting the resistance leader the Torch (Christopher Villiers) and his men Latrine, Soufle, Arc de triumph, croissant, Deja Vu and Chocolate mousse they embark on an ambitious plan to rescue Hillary's scientist Father from the dreaded Fleurgendorf Prison involving cows with boots.


The film
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If you have'nt guessed by now, this is an extremely silly film written and directed by the crew responsible for Airplane! and The Naked Gun. It relies heavily on sight gags such as the East German Women's gymnastics team (Rugby players in dresses). Some of these are a little purile and others quite inventive and they flow quickly one after the other to the point whereby you're sure to find something that tickles your fancy. However, it also relies on some very sharp dialogue - examples of which are below:

Hillary Flammond: Yes, I know a little German. (Points at Dwarf in Leiderhosen) He's sitting over there.

[the East German national anthem - Translated from German]
All: Hail, hail East Germany / Land of fruit and grape / Land where you'll regret / If you try to escape / No matter if you tunnel under or take a running jump at the wall / Forget it, the guards will kill you, if the electrified fence doesn't first.

(Nick's manager visits him in prison)
Martin: Nick, I've tried everything: the embassy, the German government, the consulate. I even talked to the U.N. ambassador. It's no use, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm.

And my personal favourite...
(Nick is being held by the Gestapo after knocking a soldier over a balcony)

General Streck, German High Command: (Threatening) You had better pray zat Sergeant Kruger survives...

General Streck, German High Command: [Phone rings, it is picked up in grave silence] What is ze condition of Sergeant Kruger?

[pause, he looks briefly at a concerned Nick]

General Streck, German High Command: Very well, let me know if zere is any change in his condition.

[Hangs up]

General Streck, German High Command: He's dead.

Acting-wise, the cast has a great time with the material. The score is provided by Maurice Jarre and is suitably hokey, echoing the cheesiest of the WW2 films. Kilmer has a chance to sing in his first starring role (Are you lonely tonight, is your kitchen...a sight, are your carpets all faded and worn?) and there are so many gags flying left, right and centre that the film deserves repeated viewing.


Summary
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Delightfully daft and best enjoyed with friends after a beer or two, I highly recommend this film to anyone who likes the aforementioned films or anything by Python.

Summary: Souvenirs, novelties, party tricks. Souvenirs, novelties, party tricks