Competent at a Push (Twilight [2008] (DVD))

Member Name: Graventite

Product:	Twilight [2008] (DVD)
Date:	02/08/09 (9 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Competent, but by no means incredible.

Disadvantages: Most of the characters are in dire need of replacement

While I understand that I'm perhaps not the target audience of this movie, being an incredibly cynical misanthrope, it is hard not to feel outraged when presented with the mutilated genre of "Vampires" that Stephanie Meyer has so enthusiastically placed in front of the world stage. What was once a beacon of gothic manliness has now been drowned under the waves and waves of homogenised slush that gushes out of every pore of this movie. The actors themselves cannot be blamed for the horrendous world that Meyer has literally "dreamed up" (The accusations of plagarism against Meyer are another topic entirely). Thankfully, the actors themselves provide enough reasons themselves why this movie should be destroyed and purged from human memory, as the Ministry of Truth would prefer.

1) The two main characters cannot act.
2) The two main characters are generally dislikable human beings.
3) The two main characters seriously cannot act to any extent. I'm not even kidding.

The first and third points may not be relevant to most of the audience for this DVD as they are female, and thus instantly ensnared by the devilish handsomeness of Robert Pattinson, regardless of any acting ability he has, or more importantly, the distinct lack of. My second point is regarding Pattison's attitude towards the character he's playing and reasons why he took the role in the first place; that being, he wanted to get with Kristen Stewart. Admirable a reason as this may be, he also dislikes the Edward Cullen as portrayed in the Twilight novels, the character he's playing in the significantly worse movie.
While the Pattison-Stewart duos' laughable acting is my main disagreement with the movie, it is perplexingly one of its redeeming features. Any attempt at humour in this movie is petty in comparison with the amusement of watching the frankly feeble acting in this movie.
I am however being overly harsh about this; it is a good source of amusement if one is desperately in need of getting rid of £15 and have any young women to placate quickly. The plot of the movie holds up to some extent, though if you read the books before watching this, you may be overly aggravated by the changes implimented due to the changing of medium, as is the case with any big screen conversion from book form. Again, apart from the two main characters, the acting as a whole sustains itself, though all complaints I have towards this movie are quickly dulled down by the fact that this is a vampire movie, and so automatically gains prestige, regardless of its actual content.
Despite myself, I found myself enjoying the Twilight movie to a certain extent, it's a readily available portal into the incredibly immersive world that Meyer has created. This review coming from a man who is staunchly against the whole saga of books and therefore any subsequent movies that are created for the sole purpose of wringing more money out of the erect teats of the Twilight fan.

Summary: The movie works and is ample amusement for a couple of hours, despite the lack of acting skill.