"We all have a recurring dream." (Vault Of Horror (DVD))

Member Name: Jake Speed

Product:	Vault Of Horror (DVD)
Date:	16/10/08 (174 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Fun!

Disadvantages: Bit inconsistent in tone perhaps in places

'The Vault of Horror' is a portmanteau horror film from cult film studio Amicus and was first released in 1973. It was directed by Roy Ward Baker and based on stories from the infamous line of EC Comics where all sorts of horrible people inevitably meet various horrible ends. I absolutely love these slightly camp and very British seventies compendium horror productions and The Vault of Horror is a lot fun, much in the vein of similar films from this period like 'Tales From The Crypt' and 'Asylum'. I've seen it several times from a young age and will doubtless watch it several more times in the future.

The film begins with shots of the Houses Of Parliament. As the titles draw to a close we move in on a high-rise tower block by the Thames and meet the cast one by one as they all enter a lift. You can't help smiling when you see they include Carl Stromberg from 'The Spy Who Loved Me' and Tom Baker with one of the funniest beards in cinematic history. These various characters are slightly perplexed when the lift takes them all the way down to the sub-basement and shuts the door on them. As sub-basements go though this one seems quite roomy and lavish with marble floors and a waiting table and chairs with a nice spread layed on for them. As far as 'framing' devices go this is a fun one. Tom Baker suggests they might as well make the most of it so they all sit down and pour themselves a nice glass of something. They start chatting and discover that they've all had very vivid dreams recently that seemed very real. Soon the men are telling each other about these strange dreams...

The fist story in The Vault of Horror is 'Midnight Mass' starring Daniel Massey and (real life sister) Anna Massey. There is also a brief appearance by Mike Pratt of 'Randall and Hopkirk' fame as a private investigator and Pratt deserved an award of some sort in my opinion just for his seventies outfit. 'Midnight Mass' is an excellent start to the film. Daniel Massey is a thoroughly unpleasant piece of work in this story and won't fail to make you laugh with his antics. He tracks down his sister, for reasons I can't reveal for fear of spoilers, to a strange town where there is talk of murders and warnings not to venture out after dark. Massey has some supper in a very odd restaurant as the secrets of the town are slowly revealed.

'Midnight Mass' is great fun with a nice twist at the end that you may or may not see coming a mile off. I like this segment because it generates a really good spooky and weird atmosphere. You almost wish it could have been extended into a longer piece and fleshed out a little more in terms of location and background characters because it is so much fun.

'The Neat Job' stars Terry Thomas as a rather mature bachelor called Gritchit with a fondness for huge neckscarves and classical music. He lives in the most seventies house ever put on film with extensive use of the colours brown and yellow. In fact even his pots and pans are yellow. Gritchit's bachelor days are ended though when he ties the knot with the somwhat clumsy Eleanor (Glynis Johns) and she moves into his groovy abode. Tension soon arises because Gritchit is an obsessively tidy and neat person to the point of being slightly mad, as Eleanor discovers...

'The Neat Job' is another segment that I've always enjoyed a lot. It's funny but genuinely does a good job in ramping up the tension for a gripping climax over the simplest of set-ups. It doesn't sem like outright horror but the ending is pure EC Comics and you'll get absorbed in the story as it unravels. It is of course also impossible not to enjoy Terry Thomas in a huge neckscarf.

The next segment, 'This Trick'll Kill You', is perhaps a bit obvious and predictable but it's mildly interesting not least for the presence of one of my favourite Bond baddies, Curt Jurgens. Jurgens is Sebastian, a magician mooching around India (though it's obviously a series of sets) looking for new tricks to perform in his act. He watches an extraordinary performance of the Indian rope-trick and asks the girl who performed it to demonstrate the trick to him and his wife in his hotel room...

As I said, 'This Trick'll Kill You', is a bit obvious but there are a couple of effective chills and it generates a bit of atmosphere. It isn't the strongest segment in the film, lacking a twist in the tale or the humour of other stories, but it's enjoyable nontheless and you'll want to know how it plays out.

"In a grave... a freshly dug grave... my grave... buried alive!" 'Bargain in Death' is a strange segment that never quite seems to decide what it wants to be. Michael Craig plays Maitland, a horror writer who cooks up a fake your own death/get rich with the insurance scheme to make money because, nice in-joke, there is 'no money in horror'. He also, at one point, is reading a novelisation of another Amicus classic 'Tales From The Crypt' in another in-joke.

Anyway, 'Bargain in Death' is the old buried alive thing (but can Maitland trust his partner?) with one or two twists and turns, a bit of gore, guest stars Robin Nedwell and Geoffrey Davies from the 'Doctor' sitcoms (sadly, no Richard O'Sullivan) and Arthur Mullard as a gravedigger. It's a bit uneven in tone, to say the least, and not a classic segment, but its fun at least and breezes past fairly quickly, one of the strengths of these films I suppose being that short stories by their very nature never outstay their welcome.

The Vault Of Horror ends on a high with 'Drawn and Quartered' starring the great and possibly bonkers Tom Baker as a bearded artist with big hair living in a bamboo hut in Haiti. Baker visits a local exponent of voodoo and is granted some of its power. Whatever he draws will now happen. If he draws a scar on his cheek then something will happen to give him a scar on his cheek. If he draws a picture of someone and destroys the picture that person will be killed in real life etc, etc. This new talent comes in handy when he discovers a bunch of poncy art people in London have been ripping him off...

This is a fun segment from the hokey Haitian locations through to Baker's confrontations with his enemies, including a wonderfully smug and nasty Denholm Elliot. There are a few grisly deaths in this one too although it's also as camp as Christmas and not to be taken too seriously. You'll laugh every single time Tom Baker pops up onscreen with his giant beard and seventies outfits. Baker gives probably the most memorable performance in the film overall and seems to be enjoying himself.

As ever with these films, we return to the framing device. Our various characters have each told their story in the sub-basement and eaten the grub on offer. Things are about to get a lot worse for them though as the true nature of this gathering is revealed by Carl Stromberg, I mean Curt Jurgens...

With an effective score by Douglas Gamley, The Vault of Horror is tremendous fun and a must for anyone with a sweet tooth for British horror films, especially camp seventies compendium ones with lots of famous faces.

Summary: Spooky