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What a Load of Meatballs
Wrong Turn (DVD)
Member Name: Zmugzy
Wrong Turn (DVD)
Date: 07/05/07, updated on 04/03/10 (214 review reads)
Advantages: Nice Scenery
Disadvantages: Same old gory plot
"Wrong Turn" portrays the tale of a group of 6 pretty young things, three men and three women, out on a camping trip. They all come together when their two cars take the wrong turn in the back woods of Louisiana. One car runs over some barbed wire purposely left across the road causing it to skid and crash into another car heading in the opposite direction. Everyone survives the crash but it's not long before they run into trouble in the shape of three gruesome mountain men who are the ones that set the trap and who have been living in the woods so long they've turned cannibal.
The campers find themselves in the middle of a forest where mobile phones conveniently receive no reception and there doesn't seem to be a garage or burger bar for miles around. Most of the group decide to walk back the way they came with the hope of finding help while two remain behind with their dilapidated vehicles. Little do they know that three hairy retards in dirty overalls are watching them from the trees, licking their lips at the tasty meal in their midst. Needless to say the two stay behinds are the first ingredients on the menu list.
The characters who make up the camping party in the film are not too annoying. The only recognizable actors for me were Eliza Dushku from Buffy and Desmond Harrington who has made a few duff movies. I can't say the acting overall was that bad but like the movie, the individual characters are rather predictable. You won't care what happens to them and most of them are gradually and deservedly knocked off one by one - usually with an axe to the head - before they are dragged back to the meat hut to be chopped up ready for the cooking pot.
Those employed in the make up department must have been on speed when they set to work on the hairy disfigured cannibals. You never really get to see their faces for most of the film which is just as well because they look ridiculous. Well put it this way, if you met any of them out in the woods on a dark night, you're more likely to burst out laughing than shiver in your boots. Meeting Bill Oddie would be far scarier. None of the cannibals talk but instead grunt and gargle except for a skinny one who prances about laughing in a squeaky voice. It all makes you wonder how on earth these hillbilly mutants buy petrol for their truck and ammo for their shotguns. One can only guess what their after dinner conversations must be like. And don't they get tired of having meatballs for dinner everyday? We get to see their grim log cabin when the rest of the happy campers (they are all quite happy up to this point) stumble into it just before they meet their foe who are on their way back for supper. The cabin is supposed to be so dirty and disgusting, but it just looks comical. One of campers discovers something cooking on the stove in a big pot and is disgusted to find that there is no veg nor seasoning. There is a slab where the prime joints are no doubt laid out and cut. The bath tub full of grunge and body parts might explain why the cannibals look as if they haven't had a wash since soap was invented.
The movie follows a familiar mindless plot. Deliverance, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Blair Witch Project come to mind but these films are in a different class and far more effective. Even if I was a fan of the genre, this film really has nothing new to offer and is a weak effort in every department. The climax to the movie is a whimpering finale that left me falling asleep as opposed to being on the edge of my seat. Maybe gore just isn't gory anymore. Even vegetarians won't find this meaty movie scary. The only one good thing about the film was the scenery and location - it certainly does look like a nice place to go camping.
Running Time: 1 hr 38 minutes.
Directed by Rob Schmidt.
Produced by Brian J. Gilbert, Robert Kulzer, Stan Winston.
Written by Alan McElroy.
Starring Desmond Harrington, Eliza Dushku, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Jeremy Sisto, Lindy Booth, Julian Richings, Kevin Zegers, Garry Robbins, Ted Clark.
Summary: Even vegetarians won't find this scary