Xcitement or Xcrement? (X2: X-Men United (DVD))

Name: hogsflesh

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Product:	X2: X-Men United (DVD)
Date:	06/05/03 (101 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Lovely weather we're having

Disadvantages: Oh why do I have to come to work on a day like this?

I hardly ever go to the cinema these days, and I certainly never go to see blockbusters in the week of their release. But having a very cheap multiplex nearby, I was persuaded to see X-men 2 the day after it came out. Going to a matinee was a mistake - the ten-year-old kids in the front row were having a very loud battle with the ten-year-old kids in the third row. I was sitting in the second row. My friend and I kept telling the little buggers to shut up, but they carried on regardless. I got hit by an inaccurately-thrown malteser at one point. I came the closest I ever have to punching a small child in the face that day. They shut up eventually, after the ushers had repeatedly threatened to remove them all from the cinema. Bring back corporal punishment, that's what I say.

Anyway. This is the sequel to X-men. I haven't seen that, but could follow most of what was going on because I read quite a few X-men comics when I was younger. Certain people are 'mutants'. This means that they are born with a superpower. They are forced to live as near-outcasts in a world that hates and fears them. (They were a creation of Marvel Comics in the Sixties - all Marvel characters from that era were laden with angst.) There's a group of heroic mutants (the X-men), who want to teach normal humans to live in harmony with them. Then there are evil mutants, led by Magneto (Ian McKellen), who want to kill all the humans.

This new film begins with Magneto in prison (a special plastic prison, as he can control anything with iron in it). He's being tortured by evil General Stryker, a government agent who runs a covert operation that, er, tortures mutants. He learns about the X-men, who are based in a school owned by their leader, Professor X, a powerful telepath (Patrick Stewart). The prof has a big computer that allows him to psychically locate every mutant on the planet. He locates them, takes them to his school, and teaches them how to use their
powers (I think. This is never really explained). Stryker invades the school and steals the computer, also capturing Professor X. The X-men, along with an escaped Magneto, have to rescue him and destroy the computer, otherwise the evil Stryker will somehow be able to kill every mutant on the planet. (Again, how this works isn't explained.)

There are far too many characters to keep track of, in my opinion. There are just too many X-men. Apart from Professor X we get: Cyclops (James Marsden), who can fire lasers out of his eyes. Jean Grey (Famke Janssen, who was much cooler when she was crushing men to death between her thighs in Goldeneye), some kind of telepath. Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) who can heal his injuries really fast and has metal claws in his wrists. Storm (Halle Berry), who can control the weather. There are some trainee X-men, too. The main youngster is Rogue (not really sure what her power is, but she's played by little Anna Paquin from the Piano, all grown up and, um, well-endowed). Iceman (Shawn Ashmore), who can freeze things and Pyro (Aaron Stanford) who can control fire are the other trainees. You also have evil Magneto and his shape-shifting blue girlfriend, Mystique (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos). And Nightcrawler (Alan Cumming painted blue), a German teleporter who tries to assassinate the president. Oh, and Stryker's henchwoman (Kelly Hu), a foxy Oriental chick with similar powers to Wolverine.

There are even more characters in the comics, of course. I do hope they're not going to be clumsily thrown into the next sequel, as we're blessed with an over-abundance of characters as it is. (Some characters seen briefly in the school are quite important in the comic, so I guess we'll be seeing more of them.) Inevitably, some people get very little to do (Cyclops vanishes for most of the film, and even Professor X is sidelined for a lot of it). The best are Storm and Wolverine, and they get the most action, perhaps beca
use they're played by the biggest stars (who are both very good, Jackman especially). McKellen is superb as Magneto, obviously having far more fun than he should with the part. He almost makes me want to see Lord of the Rings. Almost. Alan Cumming is enjoyably over-the-top (when is he not?) and Brian Cox is suitably villainous (although his Scottish accent keeps sneaking through). The rest of the cast are OK but little more. Patrick Stewart is Captain Picard in a wheelchair, although given how little material he has to work with I guess he couldn't have done much else.

The film is generally enjoyable. The action set-pieces are more then adequate (for the most part). Wolverine fighting the SWAT team in the school, and Storm knocking aeroplanes out of the sky, are cool. Magneto's escape is fantastic, far better than the very similar escape of Lecter in Silence of the Lambs. Unfortunately the end tries to cram too much in. There are at least five things going on all at the same time. This is doubtless meant to heighten our excitement, but I just felt kind of irritated. There were so many things that needed to be resolved that it felt like it would never end. Wolverine's fight against foxy Oriental chick was great, but the rest felt anti-climactic.

It was directed by Bryan Singer, who also made the first one. He was previously responsible for the entertaining but lightweight The Usual Suspects (why is that film acclaimed as a masterpiece? Am I missing something?). The direction is perfectly adequate, but doesn't really show any huge flair. Understandable, given the amount that has to be crammed in. Everything about it screams cookie-cutter action movie, from script through incidental music to editing, but it's done well, and serves its purpose. There are a few things that could have been better developed, but I guess there wasn't time. (Stryker's hatred of mutants derives from the fact that his son is one, something that
could have been far better handled. Bryan Cox is perfectly capable of playing a character with more than one dimension. Oh well.)

The film would definitely benefit from being half an hour shorter, but they're obviously trying to set up the plots for the next few films. How will human mutant relations develop? What will Magneto get up to next? Will Wolverine ever find out about his mysterious past? (Hopefully we'll get full-on mutant persecution in the next film. The comic was always best when it was about humans trying to kill mutants.)

X-men 2 is good enough that I'll go to see X-men 3. I'll also try to find the first one on video. It was a solidly entertaining film, although if you don't know who any of the characters are it might be quite hard work. It's a good year for superhero movies, with Daredevil already gone, and The Hulk, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and (yawn) Matrix Reloaded all to come. I've a suspicion X-men will prove to be the best of them.

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