Diesel Powered Bond Movie (xXx (DVD))

Member Name: wampyrii

Product:	xXx (DVD)
Date:	04/07/03 (439 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Fun, action packed, entertaining

Disadvantages: Cliched, dumbassed, infeasible, numbskullish, poorly scripted, stereotypical baddies...but who cares?

If you?re like me and like the idea of James Bond but hate the cheesy execution with a passion then you?ll be interested in the new Vin Diesel movie xXx. Of course, if you like dumbass action movies then you?ll be interested in xXx as well because you don?t get much more action or much more dumbassed than this! With Arnie on the decline, Stallone becoming increasingly more laughable and the likes of Van Damne (thankfully) disappearing off the face of the planet the way has been swept clear for someone like Vin Diesel to take up the reigns as the king of the action genre and he appears to be grasping that particular fast-track to megastardom with some gusto. Not quite as pneumatic as the others, Vin is an action hero for the 21st century and xXx is the perfect foil for him - all action, bugger all feasibility.

Diesel plays Xander Cage, or just plain ?X? to his friends, a point which is made several times in the movie and which is underlined by the camera zooming in on a large ?xXx? tattooed on the back of his neck - if ever I smelt a sequel, or perhaps a franchise wafting off of a movie then this is the one...or at least that?s what the producers of this movie are quite obviously hoping for. I?m not sure whether the 21st century needs an American James Bond style movie franchise but there you go - don?t be too surprised if you see at least 2 sequels. Anyway, X is an extreme sports enthusiast and general thrill-seeker who finds himself on the wrong side of the law. Numerous misdemeanours etc. land him with a lengthy term in gaol should the cops ever catch up with him - which they do...but fortunately for him, there is a way out.

Xander is approached by M...sorry, Agent Gibbons(the seemingly omnipotent Samuel Jackson)...who after putting him through his paces offers him an escape route. In true Dirty Dozen style(if we?re going to borrow most of the typical Bond plot we might as well cannibalise some other movies too), the ?agency? has a mission which
is truly dirty and tired of losing agents wants to throw a wolf in wolf?s clothing to some ravenous Russian wolves. ?Triple-X?, as he?s now been redubbed is to go undercover and find out just what some ex-army Russian terrorists led by Blofeld...sorry, the megalomaniac Yorgi(Marton Csokas) are up to, report back and get the hell out, not that anyone expects him to get to the ?getting out? part of course. En route he picks up with Bond -girl-gone-grunge Yelena(Asia Argento - daughter of Italian horror maestro Dario) whilst being aided and abetted by resident weapons expert Q...sorry ?Virg?.

Yes, the comparisons to Bond movies are terribly obvious but (and this is either going to be seen as a good thing or a bad thing) it?s devoid of the suave, sophisticated and very ?charming? Mr. Bond and is replaced instead with a generic Hollywood action hero who delivers a few sharp one-liners. Personally, I?ll take this movie, you might prefer Bond. either way, you only watch this kind of movie for the action anyway and this has plenty of it. It?s the second time Vin Diesel has teamed up with director Rob Cohen, the last time being in the hit movie The Fast and the Furious, with which this has many comparisons. It?s fast, it?s loud in terms of both big stunts and it?s pumping soundtrack and whilst requiring you to leave your brain outside with your coat is guaranteed to entertain a typical action movie fan.

xXx will live and die on it?s stunts and they are great - but dumb. Exhibit A, in the dumbness trial is ?the avalanche?. You need to start one - do you:

A) Jump in a helicopter, set some explosive devises on a mountainside, jump back in again and set them off from a safe distance...

B) Drop some grenades out of a plane, helicopter, etc. onto the mountainside, come back when the snow has settled...

C) Strap on a snowboard, parachute out of a plane, drop the grenades on impact and then race down the slope as fast as possible whilst
being chased down by both the avalanche and a bunch of machine gun toting, sled-riding enemy agents...the ones you are creating the avalanche to avoid?

Hmm...if you guessed C then you?ve seen a few of these movies before...if you thought C sounded *plausible* then you are director Rob Cohen. You (no, not you Rob) might also be forgiven for questioning how a motorbike manages to jump over a building without some kind of ramp as well and a whole host of other questions may attempt to gnaw at the edge of consiousness, but it?s OK, because you?ll have read this review and safely stored your brain under your comfy chair so everything will be all right and you?ll swallow all of this and more. The stunts are spectacular, plenty of guns, plenty of explosions and all the usual trappings of the action movie genre set to an adrenaline pumping soundtrack so there is little to not like if you?ve liked similar movies. It?s a tried and tested formula - a little bit of plot, some action, a huge stunt, a bit of plot, some action, a huge stunt...and so on, it never fails despite what the critics will tell you every time a movie like this is released. It?d be nice if the exposition part could have had a little more brain behind it, but brainless has it?s place and this is it.

You instinctively know what everything else is like here - the acting is dubious, the script equally iffy and the characters are more charicatures than real people but you also know whether you?ll care or not. Vin Diesel certainly has a commanding screen presence and he uses it here to good effect in the kind of role he is rapidly making his own with a distinctly American bravado, swagger and a bevy of typical action hero one-liners. It?s easy to believe Diesel is the adrenaline junkie ?X? to the point where you may even swallow some of the stunts...maybe. Samuel L. Jackson (who seems to get everywhere these days like some kind of welcome rash) appears briefly in an outrageous charicature of the
James Bond ?M? figure but stealing Blofeld?s comic book scar to give you a character which wouldn't have been out of place in Dick Tracy Returns whilst Blofeld himself this time turns out to be a Russian terrorist played by Marton Csokas who does mad, bad and dangerous to know adequately enough but won?t be picking up more of the same kind of roles in future. Asia Argento was something of a revelation to me though, not because she was much cop, but because I didn?t know Dario had a daughter and I rather like grunge chic...

In all, xXx does exactly what it sets out to do - entertain. I?ve seen it criticised for some dodgy CGI(the avalanche could have been better) and, unfairly I feel, for failing to inject any adrenaline into the action sequences as well as the usual ?it?s dumb? criticism from those who love stating the bloody obvious, but for the most part it?s pretty much guaranteed to thrill anyone who enjoys being thrilled by Bond movies or the kind of action movies Stallone, Schwarzennegar et. al. would be making now if they weren?t so old and crusty.

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