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All Time Classic Rock 'n' Roll Tearjerkers

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      25.05.2004 20:18
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      I do not understand how this record was ever made

      I went home from uni for a long weekend recently and like you do, got pretty bored pretty quickly. So I decided I?d download some music by people that I'd always been curious about. One of those happened to be Willa Ford.

      Willa Ford - real name Amanda Willaford (she what she's done there?), previously known as Manduh (a bad stage name if ever there was one) is one of the latest in the long line of young blondes to hit the music scene. Like every single one of those other blondes her mission is to make us realise that she's not like the others. She's different. And she knows everyone else says that, but she means it. Honestly.

      I suppose one of the ways in which she truly is different is her voice. Most of the others can at least sing a bit. Willa really can't. She spends her entire album squawking and screeching away, seemingly oblivious to the pain she's inflicting on the eardrums of innocent people.

      In "I Wanna Be Bad" she tells us how she (surprisingly enough) wants to be bad and she's not ashamed to admit it. Well she certainly reached her goal there. What's that? She doesn't mean bad in the, can't sing a note, one of the worst songs ever kind of way? Oh. Oops.

      "Did You Understand That" wouldn't be a bad tune in the right hands but Willa's incessant wailing and warbling makes it virtually unlistenable. She goes all girl power and tells her boyfriend (I think he's called Jack) to hit the road - again see what she's done? To be honest though if she cared as little as she's banging on about, you'd hope she'd shut up sooner.

      "Ooh Ooh" is horrific. She actually just screams most of this one. But not Christina Aguilera full pelt, shout it out screaming - we're talking nails down the blackboard, all dogs come running, screaming. It doesn't really have any proper lyrics either - it's basically just Ooh Ooh 15 million times.

      "Tired" is a sour grapes pop at Britney. Here Willa tells us that she's tired of all the blonde clones in the charts and how most pop music should 'flop' and not be in teen magazines. Hello Mr Kettle, it's Mr Pot here, I'm afraid you're looking a tad black.

      "Jokes on You" is your average joe, album filler pop song. The childish lyrics and same old same old backing track do nothing to help Willa's 'I'm different' campaign. Although it is somewhat preferable to the next couple.

      I thought that with all the time that goes into producing pop albums they would at least try and make people sound in tune. The technicians obviously gave Willa up as a lost cause though if "Don't You Wish" is anything to go by. It starts off with an embarrassingly cringeworthy talky bit and then goes straight into some horrendously off key and out of tune wailing.
      The laughably bad "Prince Charming" helps things progress from bad to pitiful. Here she whinges on about how she wants her Prince Charming to come and rescue her and rounds things up with her attempt at rapping. It definitely deserves an 'oh dear'.

      "Haunted Heart" sounds like the result of someone eating the last three songs and then throwing them back up. It features another screamy bit in the middle, which is guaranteed to set your teeth on edge.
      The album grinds its way to a halt (thank the lord) with "Dare". Here Willa goes girl power again and teaches us girls how to be nasty to those big mean boys. I think I might just have put my finger on why she's still looking for her prince charming- well, that, or he's been scared away by her singing, assuming that it's a cat being tortured.

      Anyway, this is an album that would make a great birthday present for someone you really hate. Apart from that, I'd advise you to stay well clear. She hasn't come over here yet and fingers crossed she never will.

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      • More +
        08.08.2003 16:00

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        A compilation album containing unforgettable classics, which have all been hits, some more then twice over. This indicates its good for all ages, those who can remember the songs first time round will be taken on a trip down memory lane and for those younger listeners, you will be pleasantly surprised by how many tracks you recognise. It is a double CD so there are plenty of classic?s to choose from. My favourites are mainly those that I can remember last time round, such as Tears on My Pillow, Sealed with a Kiss, Unchained Melody, Believe, all of which coincidentally were re-released by TV actors turned singers. Other favourites include Oh Carol by Neil Sedaka as it reminds me of laughing in the school library with a friend (don?t ask me why!), and the classic Stand by Me by Ben E King, which is an old favourite with everyone. Definitely a CD for those more sombre moments. However it is also perfect background music to chill out and unwind to after a stressful day. With twenty tracks in total, it is undeniably great value for money and will always be relevant to the era as these songs are ones that are passed on with every generation.

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