In The Dock (Going To A Party - Black Lace)

Member Name: blackjane

Product:	Going To A Party - Black Lace
Date:	18/02/01 (704 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Sterling service to mobile DJs and party-goers alike

Disadvantages: Persistent atrocities against music

Black Lace

"Court is in session. All rise."

"M'Lud, I would like to bring before this court the case of 'Musical Taste vs. Black Lace'. This case has been pending for some time now, and we are in need of a frank and detailed discussion of the alleged offences.

Case for the Prosecution:
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This group has much to answer for. In their time, from the late 1970s right through to the present day, they have been responsible for a string of record releases that can only be described as embarrassing.

In a recent poll for Channel 4 television, where viewers had to vote for the most annoying record of all time. The song 'Agadoo', by none other than today's defendants Black Lace topped the list [Exhibit 1]. This is proof, if it were needed, that Black Lace have shown no mercy towards the record buying public in a tacky and tuneless tirade of so-called music throughout their twenty year career.

A succession of inane releases continued, with each one being even more terrible than the last. For some reason they never realised the damaging effect of their music and decided to go on persecuting the British public.

It is for this reason that you must come to your senses and recognise that Black Lace has committed atrocities against music. No self-respecting music lover would ever consider Black Lace to be anything more than an annoying novelty act. However, to carry on this shameless charade for as long as they have means that they have overstepped the mark.

One hit wonders are an acceptable distraction to the serious artists that make a living out of the recording industry. For an act to take the novelty hit to such an extreme is indeed a heinous crime, and one for which punishment is now due.

I put it to you that Black Lace are guilty of multiple atrocities against music and move that you vote a resounding 'Guilty' to the charg
es that you are being asked to consider.

Case for the Defence:
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The word 'classic' is much overused in music circles these days. However, for musical masterpieces such as 'Superman', 'I Am The Music Man' and the jewel in their crown, 'Agadoo', this term is richly deserved.

Black Lace originally consisted of group members Alan Barton (also a member of the group Smokie) and Colin Routh. They got together for the 1979 Eurovision Song Contest, for which they performed the song 'Mary Ann'. Dean Michael replaced Colin Routh in 1986, and in 1995 founder member Alan Barton sadly lost his life in a road accident when on tour in Germany.

During the 1980s, putting the stigma of Eurovision behind them, the group managed to carve their own niche in happy-go-lucky party music. Their uncanny ability to write and perform songs that mobile DJs and their audiences are unable to resist is the envy of many a music maker. The level of jealousy amongst their chart rivals was one primary reason why this group have not received the recognition from within the industry that they so richly deserved.

Year after year, with scant regard for their unique talents, the BRIT award nominations and awards were never forthcoming. Black Lace must have spent hours wondering what more they had to do to earn the accolades that should rightfully have been theirs.

Enduring memories from the happy days of the past gave rise to public demand, and a re-release of Agadoo. This brought the group back to where they deserved to be, on the shelves of our record shops in August of 1998. This is yet another illustration of the popularity of this much-overlooked group [Exhibit 2].

The accusations in this case are serious ones, but I ask you to look to your own consciences before you make any hasty decisions. There is probably not one person amongst the jury today that has not danced to the m
usic of Black Lace. To some this may just be a distant memory, but one that should be borne in mind before you decide.

Black Lace has always advocated fun, and have carried out this philosophy for the last twenty years. Surely there is no case to answer here. If having fun is deemed to be a crime then we have to question the very foundations of our legal system.

I put it to you that Black Lace are not guilty of any atrocities against music and move that you vote 'Not Guilty' to the charges that you are being asked to consider.

Summarisation:
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In summary, I am now asking you, the Dooyooers of the jury, to remember carefully the evidence that has been presented before you today. Think long and hard before you make your decision to the question at hand:

Are Black Lace guilty of atrocities against music? or are their Party records just what is needed to get any occasion swinging?

Please retire now to make your decision - the final verdict is in your hands now.

[Unfortunately, Dooyoo's limited budget means that it is not possible to put you up in a five-star hotel while you deliberate on this dilemma. Instead, votes of 'Guilty' or 'Not Guilty' are required in the comments section of this opinion, with your reasoning if you so desire.]

{An original Dooyoo opinion
© Blackjane 2001}

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