Surely Elvis Presley films can?t be as bad as they make out? (Clambake - Elvis Presley - Soundtrack)

Member Name: dave27

Product:	Clambake - Elvis Presley - Soundtrack
Date:	13/08/02 (317 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: IT'S OOOVER!!!!!

Disadvantages: The living end

...or can they? Well, I'm glad to say that they're not - in actual fact, they're an awful lot worse than the dismal rep which precedes them - at least if this bizarrely grotesque example from 1967 is anything to go by...

I thought Dracula AD 1972 was pretty dismal when I saw it recently, with the most abysmal line of all time - "Dig the crazy music, kids..." - delivered absolutely stone faced sincerely, but believe me, Clambake is one of the most deeply unattractive films of all time, entrenched desperately as it is in the swinging sixties, or should I say the swinging sixties as they were imagined to be by Elvis' film makers - now dig the crazy music, kids, or at least dig that groovy party dancing.

Clambake contains one of the most awful Sixties party scenes of all time, with Elv the Pelv leading the gay young things in a bizarre song which called for Elvis to mumble in the background, "Mama's little baby loves clambake, clambake..." a la "Mama's little baby loves shortening, shortening, Mama's little baby loves shortening bread." Yeah, it falls upon me to identify the very moment when all credibility that the greatest rocker of all time ever possessed disintegrated COMPLETELY. Presley certainly had some pretty grim nadirs in his long but patchy career, but unfortunately this was the absolute lowest of the low - and you will never believe it unless you actually see it - but I strongly advise against doing so for the sake of your very sanity...

Check out the Elvis' Women web page on Shelley Fabares - http://greggers.granitecity.com/elvis/women/fabare sshelley.htm - for the full grim story - "Shelley's third and final Elvis outing was the astounding Clambake, a film that is absolutely unforgettable, no matter how much you drink! Especially that wierd psychodelic playground scene where Elvis sings "Confidence", a blatant ripoff of Sinatra's "High Ho
pes", and the party scene where Elvis sings "Clambake" although the party isn't really a clambake, and there aren't any clams to be seen for miles around! Anyway, the basic idea is that Elvis is super-rich and must prove to himself that he is worthy by forsaking his riches and making it on his own. He does this by (1)being super-smart and inventing GOOP, a super-substance that super-protects the outer layer of a boat hull, and allows Elvis to "win that race", and (2)by wooing Shelley away from super-rich playboy Bill Bixby, relying only on his super-smarts, super-good-looks, super-singing, super-karate, super-nice-guy-ness, but without benefit of any of those millions of dollars so therefore he's proved... something, I'm sure, but I can't figure it out! Hey, waitaminnit! Maybe "Clambake" is a pun on money and stuff! You know? "Clam", money, get it? Hey, we may be onto something!! But... hey, forget it, it's an Elvis movie!"

Now, there really ain't much else to say and why is it that some smartass always manages to say things far better than you ever could?

However, as is the dave27 wont, I will do my duty and give you the full inglorious rundown on this abysmal little affair...

Elvis plays Scott Heywood, who is the heir to a vast business fortune, and in a classic Prince and Pauper thematic, Heywood decides to check out life from the dark side by changing places with a penniless water skiing instructor and trying to see if he can get by on his wit, charm, good looks and voice alone (swoon!) in a direct competition with a swell headed playboy (the abysmally sickly Bill Bixby who played Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk, and here sports the oddest looking gingery blonds side parting haircut you have ever seen). Now do you really need any clues to work out how things go when the Pelv decides to perfect a formula for the most hardest setting resin coating of all t
ime so that he can repair a speedboat and race with the devil (Bill, of course) to win the heart of his own true love.

Clambake was Presley's 25th movie, was released nationally in the USA in December 1967, reached number 15 at the box office, with the soundtrack album peaking at a disappointing but unsurprising 40 in the Billboard charts. It was directed by Arthur N Nadel and written by Arthur Browne Junior. The cast besides Elvis was as follows:

Shelley Fabares as Dianne Carter
Will Hutchins as Tom Wilson (Elvis' alter ego)
Bill Bixby as James J Jamison III
Gary Merrill as Sam Burton: Owner Burton Boat Co.
James Gregory as Duster Heywood
Suzie Kaye as Sally
Harold Peary as Harold the Doorman
Sam Riddle as Announcer: Governors Trophy Race
Angelique Pettyjohn as Gloria
Olga Kay as Gigi
Jack Good as Mr Hathaway, Manager Shores Hotel
Lee Krieger as Paul the Bartender
Amanda Harley as Ellie, Duster Heywood?s Secretary
Sue England as Cigarette Girl

The soundtrack album consists of Clambake, Who Needs Money?, House That Has Everything, Confidence, Hey Hey Hey, You Don't Know Me, Girl I Never Loved, How Can You Lose What You Never Had, Big Boss Man, Singing Tree, Just Call Me Lonesome, Guitar Man (and every one a solid gold disaster)...


Clambake is one of the most abysmal films of all time, and should be avoided at all costs. Presley was every bit as abysmal as the movie, his clothes were abysmal, his acting was abysmal, but his quiff and dynamite moody good looks were all that there was to the entire film, much as per his entire movie career.

As a movie star, Elvis was a damn groovy singer, it's just a great shame he didn?t stick to what he did best. The endless repackaging of his looks in abominable pap like Clambake represented a fate worse than death, although for a while it made good business sense.

Just for the masochists amongst you, I
close with the lyrics to the dismal Clambake itself - enjoy...



All right, Hmm
Mamma's little baby loves clambake, clambake
Mamma's little baby loves clambake too
Mamma's little baby loves clambake, clambake
Mamma's little baby loves clambake too

Hey listen world you've gotta know
I'm cuttin loose and lettin' go
Who needs the worry and the strife
Life can be a ball now just followin' my life
clambake, gonna have a clambake
clambake, gonna have a clambake

Look for the brightest lights in town
That's where you'll find me hanging round
I've got this feeling to be free
I pick and choose the life I want
And that's the life for me
clambake, gonna have a clambake
clambake, gonna have a clambake

Mamma's little baby loves clambake, clambake
Mamma's little baby loves clambake too
Mamma's little baby loves clambake, clambake
Mamma's little baby loves clambake too

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